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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

My mother just doesnt get it!

Posted by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 1:54 AM
  • 34 Replies

Seriously, with the birth of my daughter 5 years ago, she STILL gives me a hard time because i didnt want her there during the birth, or even after, i called her the next morning after i had my mommy - daddy bonding time. Then when she did come over, she was so rude, and i caught her spilling out my hard earned breast milk for formula while i was sleeping! SO mad. Why did she even bring formula with her? Psycho.

 With this baby i told her i still dont want ANYONE there, thats my personal time, and i probably wont even call her until i get home from the hospital the next day! I dont see the problem with that, my bf's mom is going to be visiting here from Hawaii and i told her the same thing, i dont want anyone in the room, and after the birth we want a few hours of nap and bonding time. She was fine with that, My mom? Ohh no. Her EXACT words were "Umm no. that doesnt happen. Thats FAMILY time. Everyone gets to be in there." Omg lady. Shes lucky i hung up because i wanted to go through the phone.

 Its called bonding time!! Why does she have to constantly upset me?? She KNOWS what i want. And has for 5 years! Does anyone else have birthing time crazy people??

Lilypie Maternity tickers

by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 1:54 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Naegore
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:16 AM
My mom was determined to be in the delivery room and was mad when she was not allowed in. When I was wheeled back for a csection, I was told she tried to turn all the attention on herself. There is always at least one. Lol. I just wouldnt notify anyone when I went into labor. Tell her after the fact. She should respect your decision. And it is psycho to dump someones breastmilk for formula. I read that a couple of times to make sure I read it right.
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fahmom
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 2:40 AM
Wish I would have with my first. I'm glad my mom was there though. It was my sister, 2 brothers, SIL, my dad, MIL and SFIL that I did not want there. I had no sleep, no rest, no new parent bonding time. :/ I am convinced no one will be visiting us at all the first week or longer with our second. Except for my mom. She homebirthed 4 babies. I am planing a hb for my next and she will play the role of doula and be there if/when our DS needs a distraction. I also think it'd be a good idea to wait before announcing the birth. If she cannot respect your wishes don't give in.
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metallicagurl84
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 3:30 AM
1 mom liked this
Hang in there. I am raising good children with natural roots & strong values, good children & there's allwayz a dysfunctional idiot somewhere in my life trying to screw things up.
BB
Fey
PS if you want to vent more, I can make it fun, we can share stories. Hahahah or I can just be a shoulder. Message me sometime.
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mommy_rios
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 3:38 AM
My mil was the for my first and my mom was there for my second. Omg I'm not doing that again. My mom( along with the nurses) kept trying to force me to take the epidural and I didn't want it. that was a major migrane. I love my mom but nope!
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peaches_04
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 4:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Oh I would have gone crazy and immediatly kicked her out after she dumped my.milk
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melindabelcher
by mel on Apr. 27, 2012 at 5:33 AM
Thats crazy. I'm sorry but she sounds crazy. I can understand her feeling hurt or disappointed about not being in the room but to dump out your milk for formula! I would have flipped! Shes right about one thing after delivery it's family time ie you hubby kids etc she extended family now. So sorry you have to deal with that I'm sure it's irritating. Stick to your guns.
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schultzal
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2012 at 7:05 AM

I have made it very clear to my mom that I do not want her in the room when I give birth. After we are settled in, after the birth, she can come in for a few minutes to meet the baby, and then she has to give us time to rest. 

I have tried to explain to her that her plan for coming here doesn't make any sense. I live in Australia, and she will be coming from Indiana. She insists that she book her flight to arrive a week before my due date, and she plans on staying 3 weeks. What happens if I go 2 weeks overdue? She will not get to spend any time with the new baby. 

I keep telling her that it will make far more sense for her to come in November, after we have had at least a few days back at home, but she refuses. GRRRR!

There is always the possibility that she won't come at all, because she is horrible at managing her money and will likely not be able to afford it. That would suck, but I wouldn't be surprised.

justone_jen
by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:35 AM
You poor woman! Like you need the extra stress right now! I'd just not tell anyone your baby is here until you've been able to spend the time you want bonding.
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tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Apr. 27, 2012 at 8:38 AM

At the hospital tell them NO visitors..they have to follow the rules and not allow her in..this way the stress is not on you when there.

FebPenguins
by on Apr. 27, 2012 at 9:54 AM

My mom has been present at my last two deliveries. I want this to be about me and dh and new baby. Problem I am forseeing is my two older kids. My dream is that I labor in the middle of the night while everyone is sleeping! What a suprise that would be for my 2 and 5 year old.              ~God, I hope you heard that!~

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