The Metamorphosis of Motherhood LOL
The Metamorphosis of Motherhood
After your first child
After your third child
Sometime after your fifth child
Maternity clothes are so cute!
I can’t wait to get back into my normal clothes.
These are my normal clothes.
Jake, come here!
Jake, I mean Susie, come here!
You—come here! No, not you. You! Yes, you! If I say “you,” I mean you!
Look at the homemade costume I made for you!
Let’s see what’s left at the costume store.
Here’s some aluminum foil and a Sharpie.
What would you like for dinner?
This is what we’re having for dinner.
If you don’t eat the casserole, it’s going in the soup for tomorrow.
Don’t eat that off the floor!
The floor isn’t that dirty.
Get it before your brother does.
Your birthday is only a month away! We’d better start planning.
I forgot candles. I’ll hold up five fingers and you can blow them out.
No, I didn’t forget your birthday. It’s called a “surprise party.”
Would you like to learn soccer, karate, piano, origami, French pastry making, Spanish, or water polo?
You’re taking ballet because your sister takes ballet.
There are lots of great cartoons on in the afternoons for kids your age.
Let’s pick up before Daddy gets home.
Let’s pick up before Grandma comes.
Let’s just move.
Let me help you!
Let me know if you need my help.
You don’t need my help.
I’ve created a wish list of educational toys for Timmy’s first Christmas. It includes all the Newberry award-winning books, a baby biology set, Latin fridge magnets, and a planetary motion crib mobile.
Don’t buy him anything that makes noise, needs batteries, might choke the baby, or requires parental supervision.
Just give us the money.
My husband wrote me a love note and rubbed my feet!
He watched the kids so I could go to the grocery store by myself!
We need to childproof the house.
How come the baby is the only one who can open the baby gate?
He’ll only do it once.
Please put on your new shirt.
Please put on a clean shirt.
At least you’re dressed.
I will never be one of those mothers.
I feel sorry for those mothers.
I am one of those mothers!
I didn’t know I could love anyone like this.
I didn’t know my love could multiply like this.
There’s always room to love one more.