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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

I hate when the topic of birth comes up among mainstream friends. Ugh.

Posted by on May. 28, 2012 at 7:56 AM
  • 24 Replies
1 mom liked this

I guess it's pretty well known that I had a cesarean with my first baby and yesterday while taking my daughter to the playground, the subject came up among the other mothers.  

And when I was explaining that the cesarean happened because the environment was not conducive due to the stress and the pressure of the doctor and staff, I was interrupted with "Pshaaaw, what stress?!  There's no stress in the hospital!  They make everything comfortable for you."

Yeah, okay.  These people don't have any clue about oxytocin vs. adrenaline or the stress of being placed on the clock because your water broke.  Literally the first thing that was said to me the minute I walked into the labor/birthing room was, "You have 12 hours to get that baby out or you'll have a cesarean."  Really?  THAT'S not stressful?  Especially when the ONLY thing you wanted was a non-interventive natural birth?

And I talked about how my doctor was doing things to me when I told her NO and asked her to stop...and she continued anyway (both vaginal exam and administering pitocin).  

Being pitted against your will while screaming no, don't do it...and having the doctor nod to the nurse to do it anyway doesn't create sress??

Then they asked me who my doctor was and when I told them, 2/3 of them said, "OH!  She's my doctor, too!  She's FANTASTIC!  What a WONDERFUL doctor.  She's the best doctor in the whole city" etc. etc. etc.

Then they wanted to know which hospital I had been at...and so suddenly the villain became the *hospital* not the doctor, and they advised me not to go back to the same hospital this time.  Ugh.

No, I'm NOT planning to go back to that hospital again.  What I didn't tell them was that I'm not planning to go back to ANY hospital.  I hate that I have to keep my homebirth plans hush-hush, but people are so opinionated.  

Uninformed opinionated is the worst kind of opinionated.  :(

by on May. 28, 2012 at 7:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
spitfire06
by Member on May. 28, 2012 at 7:58 AM
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teddysmama09
by on May. 28, 2012 at 8:57 AM

 I hear ya! My hospital experience wwas extremeely stressful for the exact reasons you mentioned. I had broken waters and was pressured to dialate (like I had any control over that!) My homebirth was wonderful. Despite broken water (for over 48 hours) and  a face up baby my midwife wass so relaxed which made me relaxed. She was right on top of things, even calling in a  second midwife to help but she never put any pressure on me. My biggest skeptic was always my best friend so I invited her to attend the home birth. She had been at the hospital birth of my son so I wanted her to see the difference.

I really hope  everything works out beautifully for your home birth. Are you planning  a waater birth? Thats what I did, and it was amazing.

JocelynsMama1
by on May. 28, 2012 at 9:12 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so worried about my next birth. I'm not pregnant yet but hopefully will be soon (miscarried last month and trying again soon! But I loved the doctor that handled my miscarriage and have heard great things about him. BUT he was also my sister in laws dr. and she jsut delivered a couple weeks ago. I was not satisfied with her situation during delivery. I don't know if it was mainly the dr. or the hospital. She was given pitocin without being told. Then the pitocin was upped even more without her approval. Her water was broke without asking or telling her. And the hospital wont let you walk once your water breaks....RIDICULOUS. So my dr. and I will be havin a long talk at my first OB appointment once I conceive again. She was younger and not very opinionated in what she wanted (but was anry afterwards), so I'm hoping he understands my views and agrees to follow my birth plan AND SIGN IT. If he disagrees I'll be finding a new dr. And even if i go my whole pregnancy with him and they try to do somethin durin labor or delivery that I dont want I'll walk my happy ass out and deliver in the parking lot then come back in lol....everyone thinks im kiddin but I'm dead serious. I'll be damned if your gonna giveme pit when I don't need it. I walk my babies out!!!

louzannalady
by Silver Member on May. 28, 2012 at 12:38 PM

: *( I am so sorry that all happened to you, Momma. I am so sorry that they don't have a clue about their options. : *( I have been where you were, with my first. 

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

jillj501
by on May. 28, 2012 at 1:11 PM
At least you have us! It's hard to bite your tongue around narrow minded people
squish
by Member on May. 28, 2012 at 3:08 PM

I usually just walk away, and only give my opinion when asked. Sorry, it is difficult though when they are you close friends and just don't understand. :(

 

Brandy85412
by on May. 28, 2012 at 3:42 PM
I just surround my self with like minded people these days I can't stand other peoples stupid opinions I just can't keep my month shut.
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MoPain
by on May. 28, 2012 at 4:21 PM

I'm really upset that I have to go to the hospital to have this baby I have always wanted a Natural no pressure birth but baby is having some medical problems so I have to be in the hospital to be safe it still makes me sad and scared to have to go to the hospital

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mommaloveG
by on May. 28, 2012 at 4:24 PM

My husband and I have a pair of really really close minded friends. We aren't even anywhere close to the 'crunchiest' people we know... however they look at us like we're crazy radicals.

The topic of my birth came up a few weeks ago and the wife was floored by the simple fact that I am not going to have an epi. She couldn't believe it. Her husband was a little better.. since his mom is one of the L&D nurses at our hospital so he has a bit more knowledge. It was like no one had ever even mentioned the idea of it to her.

And breastfeeding, forget it! She thinks its gross and unnatural and says she'll never ever do it. I can't even talk to her.

Ridiculous. I feel bad for them.


sreichelt26
by on May. 28, 2012 at 4:59 PM
2 moms liked this

I've NEVER understood this...how is it unnatural? Why else do we produce milk? How did babies eat before formula?

Bishes be crazy ;)

Quoting mommaloveG:

My husband and I have a pair of really really close minded friends. We aren't even anywhere close to the 'crunchiest' people we know... however they look at us like we're crazy radicals.

The topic of my birth came up a few weeks ago and the wife was floored by the simple fact that I am not going to have an epi. She couldn't believe it. Her husband was a little better.. since his mom is one of the L&D nurses at our hospital so he has a bit more knowledge. It was like no one had ever even mentioned the idea of it to her.

And breastfeeding, forget it! She thinks its gross and unnatural and says she'll never ever do it. I can't even talk to her.

Ridiculous. I feel bad for them.



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