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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

She's 8 months old not 8!!

Posted by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:23 AM
  • 37 Replies
I knew this would happen. We are on vacation. We are visiting lots of in-laws who haven't met my youngest two kids yet (28 mos & 8 mos). Everyone wants to hold my youngest but she HATES other people holding her or touching her. She will smile at people from the Boba when hubby or I wear her but she will not let anyone else hold her. Even my mom who she sees the most. She screams her head off and won't stop. So, I really don't like stressing her out by even trying. I have tried giving her to family members but as soon as she cries I take her back.

My SIL keeps telling me it's not normal and she thinks she's autistic too. She gave me this big lecture about how I'm enabling her and I need to break this habit or bondage now. I was like how is it a habit?? I explained to her that even if she is autistic she is still an infant who doesn't understand object permanence yet. She still needs her emotional needs met and probably more so because she's very sensitive or scared of a lot of things. I'm in no rush to get her over her fear of strangers. I think it's silly how people think you need to "break this habit NOW" or they will NEVER be independent. Please! I will expose her to other people slowly and help her adjust to different things slowly.

I'm so tired of hearing this about her! I met my sons needs the same as I meet hers and he isn't scared of people. So, obviously my parenting isn't doing it! Basically, I told her I don't agree and that's that. I just get annoyed. I guess I've been spoiled so far. I'm never around in laws or other family who I have to defend my parenting ways with lol.
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by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
hapababies
by Silver Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:43 AM
4 moms liked this
For goodness sakes, people need to tend to their own business. If you still want to carry her until she's 8, and it works for your family then do it. But you're right, she's 8 months old and happy, leave her be.
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graycalico
by Member on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:48 AM
3 moms liked this
My nine month old ds is the same way and recently i'm getting sick of the things people say. I feel like asking them when the last time they were forced to sit on a stranger's lap was.
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catholicmamamia
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 12:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Generally I do not like namecalling but reading about your SIL's behavior and comments, the words "judgemental" and "idiot" come to mind.. ;o)  Sorry your family had to endure that.. ((hugs)) 



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JaxMomma78
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:01 AM
1 mom liked this
Around 8 mo some children start to develop stranger anxiety. Its normal! It doesn't mean u are doing anything wrong or that your baby is autistic. She is just not as trusting as your son was at that age, and thats ok. She trusts ppl enough to smile at them in the safety of your arms, that's enough for her. She will get over it, it just may take a bit longer. It sounds like your sil is either jealous, or insulted that Ur baby wanted nothing to do with her and she can't obviously blame the baby, so she told u its something u for wrong .
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jconney80
by Group Mod on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:02 AM
Thank you! Lol I have to agree. I try to not get into confrontation with family but she continuously wanted to try to hold her and get her to get over it by making her cry. I told my husband that I refuse to allow anyone to do that and they can get over it. I do feel bad that they don't get to enjoy holding her but it is what it is. I have been on the defense about that happening. The one day that my niece was repeatedly getting in her face she was very stressed out and practically climbing me when someone even came close to her.

Quoting catholicmamamia:

Generally I do not like namecalling but reading about your SIL's behavior and comments, the words "judgemental" and "idiot" come to mind.. ;o)  Sorry your family had to endure that.. ((hugs)) 

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jconney80
by Group Mod on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:07 AM
She has always been this way since birth lol. I do see other signs of autism but it doesn't matter to me either way. I will still respond to her needs the same. I have already accepted that she could be but I'm OK with it. My other kids are currently being evaluated for autism. I do agree that she is upset that she couldn't hold her. She teaches autistic children and I think she thought that when we came to visit that she was going to "teach" us how to parent them. Teaching and parenting are totally different and life is not all about preparing your child for school. She will be mad if I do decide to homeschool them lol

Quoting JaxMomma78:

Around 8 mo some children start to develop stranger anxiety. Its normal! It doesn't mean u are doing anything wrong or that your baby is autistic. She is just not as trusting as your son was at that age, and thats ok. She trusts ppl enough to smile at them in the safety of your arms, that's enough for her. She will get over it, it just may take a bit longer. It sounds like your sil is either jealous, or insulted that Ur baby wanted nothing to do with her and she can't obviously blame the baby, so she told u its something u for wrong .
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peaches_04
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:10 AM
1 mom liked this
I had the same argument with my parents

I think ppl feel insecure when babys dont want to be held and dont wanna feel like the baby doesnt like them so they start putting on the baby having some kind of problem...kwim?
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tennisgal
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:11 AM

LOL! You're 8mo is autistic. That's so silly for her to even suggest such a thing. You know your daughter, so you keep doing what you know is right. 

LovingSAHMommy
by on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:12 AM

I would let anyone who tried to diagnose my child with anything that they were WAY out of line. It's really none of their business. I'm sure you know what's best for your child.

jconney80
by Group Mod on Jun. 20, 2012 at 1:12 AM
Hahaha! Really! My SIL was trying to make my son lay down and he didn't want to. He just met her! She said he could cry and get over it. I went and picked him up. Hello you are a stranger to him?!

Quoting graycalico:

My nine month old ds is the same way and recently i'm getting sick of the things people say. I feel like asking them when the last time they were forced to sit on a stranger's lap was.
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