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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

I need advice...re circum.

Posted by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 11:05 AM
  • 18 Replies

 Hi guys I'm new to the group but figured I would get better info in here then on some other groups.

4 1/2 years ago when DS was circumcised we were very back and forth on the idea, weren't very well educated and simply went with the flow. But nowadays with reading more, educating ourselves more etc we have decided that if we were to have another boy we wouldn't. Well now that we are having a boy I'm 21w - I'm kind of nervous about not doing it. Just in the fact that one boy will be and one won't be. I don't know how to take care of a uncircumcised penis, my mom and other members of the family go on and on about infections and how if he wants to get circ. when he's older the complications from that etc.  How do I explain to the older one as he is old enough to understand etc. I guess I need some more information.

 

Any ideas or books out there?

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by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 11:05 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Melame68
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 11:13 AM
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Really simple "everyones penis looks different" and there is NO extra care! Never retract the foreskin. Just clean like a finger. Getting a circ to prevent an problem is like pulling a tooth to prevent a cavity. Kwim? I know many uncut men and NONE of them have any desire to go get part of their penis chopped off. They all are proud of being intact. I doubt that will be an issue. More and more babies are staying intact. Which means no one will think ANYTHING of it when he's an adult. It will be normal! Its not uncommon now! I'm more suprised to see a cut penis on a baby than an intact one.

I kept it very simple. I was not going to tie my baby to a board and cut off any part of him! He was born perfect.

I found listening to my ddg talk about taking care of circs and dealing with problems with them even past 1 year! Was enough to solidify my no extra care super easy intact decision.
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lundaylove
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 12:28 PM
1 mom liked this

what she said. everyones penis looks differently, regardless if one is circ'd or not. and you only clean what is seen. never retract! care is EASY!

FebPenguins
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 12:33 PM

Did you watch one performed? That is always my suggestion.


tbug9182
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 1:52 PM

 No and I'd rather not, I broke down when we sent my son to get one and still haven't forgiven myself for putting him through that, at the time I had left the decision up to my husband, before we even found out we were having a boy we had decided we wouldn't get him c'd no matter what. I guess I'm just looking for suggestions in how to explain things.

Quoting FebPenguins:

Did you watch one performed? That is always my suggestion.


 

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FebPenguins
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 2:18 PM
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Quoting tbug9182:

 No and I'd rather not, I broke down when we sent my son to get one and still haven't forgiven myself for putting him through that, at the time I had left the decision up to my husband, before we even found out we were having a boy we had decided we wouldn't get him c'd no matter what. I guess I'm just looking for suggestions in how to explain things.

Quoting FebPenguins:

Did you watch one performed? That is always my suggestion.


 

Okay,that makes sense. I guess I thought you were debating on getting ds#2 circed. I think I would say everyone is a little bit different, then when he is old enough to understand why some choose, you can go into detail. Keep it age appropritae and never lie, always a good option.



skarlet
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 2:23 PM
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We are going through this now. I am 30wks pregnant with our second son and I wish we hadn't gotten it done the first time but I also left it mostly up to my husband. We had a terrible first experience or at least in my mind it was with our son's circumcision. He had to get two stitches and we had to go back two days later for them to check on it and then again in a week to make sure it was healing okay. Then they also had to fix another part that kept reattaching weird. I just kept thinking had we just left it alone he wouldn't have had to go through all of that mess. I'm sure most people get it done and don't have those issues but we did so that is my experience with it. 

My husband is actually one of 4 boys in his family and for some reason his mother didn't have one of this brothers done at birth and he was the only one not done. It apparently really bothered him growing up that he wasn't done and his brothers/dad were. I'm sure they didn't talk to him at all about it though because they are just like that and had they said something like the other posters said that everyone's looks different that it wouldn't have bothered him. However when he was a kid he had to go in for another surgery (really bad broken leg) and actually asked the doctor to do it while he was under. I can't imagine being a 12year old and getting it done. Either way my husband remembers I guess it bothering his brother so I think that's why he wanted it done and probably why it will be done again.

I have a couple of friends who did not have their sons circumcised and neither one of them have had issues with keeping it clean or with UTI's(their sons are 4 and 12 also two different families) so I wouldn't particularly worry about that if you decide not to do it.

tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Jun. 29, 2012 at 6:43 PM

HUGS momma.  People who say things about infections and stuff have obviously not done their research, because its all false info.  Theres nothing dirty about an uncirced penis just like theres nothing dirty about an uncut labia.

OH and when an infant the loss of blood and risk of infection is worse than anything as an adult.  When a baby the penis is very small and just a simple mistake can mean life or death or loss of penis

jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Jun. 29, 2012 at 7:15 PM
I think it's the aap, might be the who, who has info on how to care for it. Basically, you care for it like you do fingernails (because it is structured the same way- connective tissue holds the foreskin to the penis- you do not retract nails for the same reason you don't foreskin) and the eyelid (self cleaning, no need to pull back our eyelids and wipe our eye). You wipe it like a finger. The end.
I looked this all up when I was pregnant, but never followed through since I have only girls, so I can't speak from experience. But check out the aap's site for info. You can also join Raising Intact Boys for compiled info.
GL!
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Refurbished
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 7:21 PM
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I didn't circumcise.  My son was premature and we couldn't until he was six months old, and by that time we just put it off.  He's now a teenager.  There was no extra care, and it really isn't a big deal.  He's never had an infection. 

I explained the procedure to him recently and told him that if it bothered him that we didn't circumcise him, that we would get it done.  He looked at me with this completely mortified look and said, "Why on earth would anybody want to be circumcised?"  Up until this point, he never even noticed that he was different than dad.

mommyjenn84
by on Jun. 29, 2012 at 7:26 PM
To him, just that all penis' are different just as all people are.

To everyone else, id just stop discussing it.

As for cleaning, little soap and water on a rag and wipe like a finger. If hes taught early on how to clean it, that will drastically lower issues. Also only the owner of said penis should ever retract.
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