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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Pressure

Posted by on Jul. 25, 2012 at 3:40 PM
  • 10 Replies

This is getting old and I just want to vent.  I am due Sept. 14.  My mom is coming out Sept 5th through the 20th.  Then My Grandma will come from the 19-29th.  It's a long time to have house guests, but they are coming to help with my 2 other kids whom I have nobody else to watch when I give birth as well as taking them to their activities which are almost everyday.  So it will be nice to have help. 

Anyway, my mom usually respects that I do things the more natural way, and my Grandma tries to push the more medical approach as well as "easier" ways to do things on me.  (she does not understand why on earth I choose cloth when disposables are so great!  etc.  lol)  But I can deal with the differences of opinion.  I still do things my own way. 

My issue right now is that everyone thinks they have a say in when I have this baby all of the sudden!  My mom is pushing me to consider induction if I haven't had her within 3 days before she is to leave.  And my Grandma thinks everything is an emergency and if already frantic that I am not seeing a regular OB and using every drug and intervention available.  She thinks if I go past my due date, the baby will die, so she expects this baby to be here before she arrives on the 19th.  Then my midwife who I switched to halfway because I realized my last midwife was more of a medwife, just told me she will be out of town sept. 8-12.  She is in the same practice as my former medwife as well as one other midwife that I will be meeting at my next appt. just in case.  My midwife said to start telling myself that this baby is going to come before she goes out of town and visualize it into reality.  My husband works weekdays 7-4 and we cant afford for him to miss work unless we have to.  He goes to school M-Th from 5-1130 pm and the hours are mandated by the FAA so if he misses one night they have rigorous rules about how he can make up the time.  If it is in the last week of a course, he has to repeat the entire thing thus pushing back his grad date.  So he is requesting I focus on a weekend birth! 

Good grief people!  Don't worry, I am NOT entertaining the thought of induction or even doing anything wild beyond the normal stuff like walking, drinking tea, mediatating, etc.  This baby gets the final say on her birth.  Nevertheless, I am just starting to get angry about everyone trying to control it!  My midwife isnt really pushy.  But of course knowing she will be away makes me feel a little nervous.  I dont want to end up with my former medwife by default.  I switched for a reason.  I am relaxed about waiting for her to come when she comes and letting nature take its course.  I feel bad if my mom misses it, but this is my 3rd baby and she knows how I do things, I have been completely honest about my plans, and she chose her own visit dates, so I dont feel guilty. 

Sorry this is soooooo  long!  I just need to vent, and so far the few people I thought I could vent to, think I am such a meanie for not accomodating everyone.  Ugh!  Thanks for listening.

by on Jul. 25, 2012 at 3:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Ichthus
by on Jul. 25, 2012 at 4:25 PM
3 moms liked this

Good for you for standing up for the birth experience you want! I hope everything works out the way YOU want. :)

soulofsunmama
by on Jul. 25, 2012 at 4:30 PM
2 moms liked this
What a GREAT head on your shoulders mama, your kiddos are lucky:-)
And the rest can SUCK IT...with love of course:)
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EthansMomma2010
by on Jul. 25, 2012 at 5:35 PM
2 moms liked this
hugs. I'm sorry everyone is pressuring you. I would have told them all to shove it by now. Lol. Tell them if they dont stop pressuring you ur body will close up and they can forget about seing baby at all!
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TrentsMom84
by Silver Member on Jul. 25, 2012 at 6:53 PM
3 moms liked this

I held a baby in for 9 days (I mean past my water breaking, contractions all day long) because people did crap like that to me.  My mom had to go back to work and had flown in, my work wouldn't give me anymore than 6 weeks off, etc.  My body could not work appropriately under that pressure!  I would seriously suggest that you have a conversation with each person and let them know that you can't control when this baby comes and to keep their mouth shut.

Mrs.Salz
by on Jul. 25, 2012 at 7:54 PM
1 mom liked this

*hugs*

catholicmamamia
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 12:56 AM
1 mom liked this

LOL.. this! 

Quoting soulofsunmama: What a GREAT head on your shoulders mama, your kiddos are lucky:-)  And the rest can SUCK IT...with love of course:)

 



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schultzal
by Bronze Member on Jul. 26, 2012 at 3:53 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh my goodness, I can see why you're feeling pressure. You're getting it from all sides, mama!

Good for you for standing up for yourself. You know what is right, and too bad for everyone else. Baby will come when she is ready. :)

bethiesmama
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 4:12 AM


Quoting TrentsMom84:

I held a baby in for 9 days (I mean past my water breaking, contractions all day long) because people did crap like that to me.  My mom had to go back to work and had flown in, my work wouldn't give me anymore than 6 weeks off, etc.  My body could not work appropriately under that pressure!  I would seriously suggest that you have a conversation with each person and let them know that you can't control when this baby comes and to keep their mouth shut.

Oh my word, that sounds terrible!  I think you are right that I need to have a talk with everyone. 

LondonsMomma84
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 6:14 AM
1 mom liked this
I personally think if your mom missues the birth that it's her own fault because she's only staying 6 days after you are due. That's just not enough time. Your baby could need up to two weeks past. So be prepared for that.

As for the pressure, you need to TELL them as firmly as possible that they must stop pressuring you.
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bethiesmama
by on Jul. 26, 2012 at 4:16 PM


Quoting LondonsMomma84:

I personally think if your mom missues the birth that it's her own fault because she's only staying 6 days after you are due. That's just not enough time. Your baby could need up to two weeks past. So be prepared for that.

As for the pressure, you need to TELL them as firmly as possible that they must stop pressuring you.

I agree.  My first dd was 2 weeks and 1 day past her due date.  My 2nd dd was born at 38 and a half weeks, so I have reminded her often that there is just no telling when she will come.  But the time has certainly come to stop making reminders and stuff and actually have a serious talk about it.  Lay it all out.


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