Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

need advice for 2 year old

Posted by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 2:49 AM
  • 9 Replies
i didnt know where to post this. ok so i have a 2 year old and she is very hard. she screams all the time, she jumps up and down a lot when shes excited and ive had ppl say wow she just loves jumping. shes very hard to calm down and when shes crabby she will not listen and does what she wants. i can no longer go to stores with her because she refuses to sit in the cart. i cant go out to eat at restraunts i use to once enjoy because she refuses to sit in a highchair or booster seat and rather run around. i feel theres somethibg wrong with her as if she has adhd or early signs of it. are all 2 year olds like this? is this what they mean by terrible 2's? to me its like terrible 2's times a million! its hard to discipline my child because when i try telling her to be nice or lets sit, its hard for her to just listen and i get frustrated and then she gets frustrated. i feel im not a good mom because everyone else i see with small children must be doing something different. this is why ive avoid places so i can avoid a scene, i dont want other ppl wispering or saying oh that mom has a out of control child or something. i feel so embarrased sometimes i just rather not deal with society and just stay home or go places that are child friendly which is not many options. if ths is just a 2 year old phase and she will grow out of it then im relieved but if this is something more, then im nervous. ive also been potty training her but its not really working, she peed in the potty the other day for the first time. past few months shes been going poop and writes on the walls with it:( she does this when her dad is watching her while im at work or out doingan errand. i told him he needs to keep a better eye on her because im getting sick of cleaning shit off the window and walls, its very disgusting and im pissed at my guy because he doesnt understand that our daughter needs to learn to use the potty and if she poops then hurry and change her diaper. ugh im having one of those nights i feel like venting. thanks for listening to me. i just feel like a terrible person and frustrated mom trying to do my best
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 2:49 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
orangeshirt
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 5:50 AM
Have you tried wearing her at the store? My 20 month old has never consented to sitting in the cart unless it is a two sweater and she can sit with her sister, but even then she starts to fuss after a while, so babywearing is a lifesaver. As far as restaurants, do you bring coloring books or other activities to keep her occupied? Will she stay still if she's in someone's lap? Honestly, it sounds like normal two year old stuff. She's testing limits and boundaries, and craving attention however she can get it. I'm all for early potty learning, but I wouldn't push the poop for now...that usually takes them longer to master than pee. I would, however, make sure she has clothes on that are hard for her to take off so she can't get to poop to use it as paint. I would also force him to clean it if he was "napping on the job". As far as discipline, this is a very difficult age because they don't always understand consequences nor do they get abstract concepts like manners, niceness, etc. if she hurts someone by hitting or pushing, be clear. Don't say "that's not nice" say "don't push or hit" while you are on her level. If she repeats the undesirable behavior, redirect her or remove her from the situation immediately and for a set amount of time. Set aside a spot for "time outs" where she can calm down. It might take a few tries to get her to stay there, but keep at it. You can even put some of her favorite toys there and a simple egg timer so that she knows when she is allowed to return. When the time out is over, have a simple talk about why she was given it and give her alternative choices for next time.
melindabelcher
by mel on Oct. 13, 2012 at 5:54 AM
Hugs!!!
I personally find this to be a 2yo phase.
Some things that worked for us was practicing at home. Play red light green light to practice good listening. In order to eat dinner she must sit in her chair, etc
Are you leading the potty training or her? While some children do potty train at 2 theres many more that weren't ready until 3 or 4.
When you go out offer immediate simple rewards for good behavior.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ilovesummer2010
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:20 AM
i gave my moby wrap away:( she rather run around. anytime we go somewhere she feels she has to run because its a game to her and im trying to teach her that we dont run in the store. its so hard to get the point across because anytime i try telling her what she should be doing, she starts screaming. she sits in her highchair at home. sometimes i feel like luggi.g that big highchair to a place because she will sit in it lol when she turned 1 she refusedto be in the moby, she literally would do back bends and somehow get herself out of it:(


Quoting orangeshirt:

Have you tried wearing her at the store? My 20 month old has never consented to sitting in the cart unless it is a two sweater and she can sit with her sister, but even then she starts to fuss after a while, so babywearing is a lifesaver. As far as restaurants, do you bring coloring books or other activities to keep her occupied? Will she stay still if she's in someone's lap? Honestly, it sounds like normal two year old stuff. She's testing limits and boundaries, and craving attention however she can get it. I'm all for early potty learning, but I wouldn't push the poop for now...that usually takes them longer to master than pee. I would, however, make sure she has clothes on that are hard for her to take off so she can't get to poop to use it as paint. I would also force him to clean it if he was "napping on the job". As far as discipline, this is a very difficult age because they don't always understand consequences nor do they get abstract concepts like manners, niceness, etc. if she hurts someone by hitting or pushing, be clear. Don't say "that's not nice" say "don't push or hit" while you are on her level. If she repeats the undesirable behavior, redirect her or remove her from the situation immediately and for a set amount of time. Set aside a spot for "time outs" where she can calm down. It might take a few tries to get her to stay there, but keep at it. You can even put some of her favorite toys there and a simple egg timer so that she knows when she is allowed to return. When the time out is over, have a simple talk about why she was given it and give her alternative choices for next time.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
orangeshirt
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:24 AM
Mobys aren't safe after a few months old anyway because they stretch too much with the weight of the baby. There are other carriers that are more appropriate for toddler wearing. I thought my daughter would hate a back carry, but she falls asleep quickly in it...and she tends to be a runner.

Do you have a Leap Pad or portable DVD player you could give her as a distraction while she's in the cart? It doesn't get to the heart of the problem, but it can be hard to correct behavior in a store environment because it is big, bright, full of temptations.


Quoting ilovesummer2010:

i gave my moby wrap away:( she rather run around. anytime we go somewhere she feels she has to run because its a game to her and im trying to teach her that we dont run in the store. its so hard to get the point across because anytime i try telling her what she should be doing, she starts screaming. she sits in her highchair at home. sometimes i feel like luggi.g that big highchair to a place because she will sit in it lol when she turned 1 she refusedto be in the moby, she literally would do back bends and somehow get herself out of it:(




Quoting orangeshirt:

Have you tried wearing her at the store? My 20 month old has never consented to sitting in the cart unless it is a two sweater and she can sit with her sister, but even then she starts to fuss after a while, so babywearing is a lifesaver. As far as restaurants, do you bring coloring books or other activities to keep her occupied? Will she stay still if she's in someone's lap? Honestly, it sounds like normal two year old stuff. She's testing limits and boundaries, and craving attention however she can get it. I'm all for early potty learning, but I wouldn't push the poop for now...that usually takes them longer to master than pee. I would, however, make sure she has clothes on that are hard for her to take off so she can't get to poop to use it as paint. I would also force him to clean it if he was "napping on the job". As far as discipline, this is a very difficult age because they don't always understand consequences nor do they get abstract concepts like manners, niceness, etc. if she hurts someone by hitting or pushing, be clear. Don't say "that's not nice" say "don't push or hit" while you are on her level. If she repeats the undesirable behavior, redirect her or remove her from the situation immediately and for a set amount of time. Set aside a spot for "time outs" where she can calm down. It might take a few tries to get her to stay there, but keep at it. You can even put some of her favorite toys there and a simple egg timer so that she knows when she is allowed to return. When the time out is over, have a simple talk about why she was given it and give her alternative choices for next time.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sreichelt26
by Bronze Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:28 AM
Sometimes it's a 2 yr old thing, sometimes it's something else. Take a look at her diet - certain food dyes cause hyperactivity (red dyes, one of the yellows I think). Try removing those things. I have a friend whose daughter was a lot like yours and when she removed anything with red dye in it, her daughter was a completely different child.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ilovesummer2010
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:29 AM
thanks for the advice, ill try doing that. i sit her on the potty or when she is done eat after 10/15 min ill sit her on the potty. i try not pushing it because i know its better when the child is ready. i have no idea if he is sleeping when im gone or playing his stupid video games, he puts her in her room (of course not the whole day, just for nap time) and when i come home i either say ummm ok i think i smell poop. or he will say, summer pooped in her room again. so i yell at him that hes obviously not doing it the right way! i told him he needs to do it the way i do it, i always know when she poops and i change her right away. i told him if this keeps continuing she might do this till shes 4 (hopeing that scares him). he doesnt understand it:/ and this is why i only want one child sometimes, how the hell will he keep up if im at work:'( its just frustrating. i think he needs to take a parenting class, for real!


Quoting melindabelcher:

Hugs!!!

I personally find this to be a 2yo phase.

Some things that worked for us was practicing at home. Play red light green light to practice good listening. In order to eat dinner she must sit in her chair, etc

Are you leading the potty training or her? While some children do potty train at 2 theres many more that weren't ready until 3 or 4.

When you go out offer immediate simple rewards for good behavior.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ilovesummer2010
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:33 AM
ill try doing that. you know i actually told my guy we shouldnt be giving her sweets and hes like whats it matter. ummm hello it does matter! do all men suck at how to take care of a child? i wish he understood that a lot of what you feed and things you do reflect on how a child is


Quoting sreichelt26:

Sometimes it's a 2 yr old thing, sometimes it's something else. Take a look at her diet - certain food dyes cause hyperactivity (red dyes, one of the yellows I think). Try removing those things. I have a friend whose daughter was a lot like yours and when she removed anything with red dye in it, her daughter was a completely different child.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
The_Doodle
by Member on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:48 AM

I have a 2 year old and this is stuff that I have been doing and have done with my daughter:

For grocery stores: She screams because she knows she will get her way if she makes a scene. Don't let her get her way. Take her to the store on trial runs...when you don't have to actually get anything. MAKE her sit in the seat. If she starts screaming, take her out the store but do not let her run around. If you want to try to get her to learn to walk beside the cart, do the same thing. If she runs off, put her butt int he cart. If she screams, take her out the store. You have to get the point across that her screaming will not result in her doing what she wants.

For restaurants: Making them sit still at home will help...or at least it did with mine. If they don't eat at a table, have a designated place their food has to stay and don't let them carry their stuff around.  The main thing that greatly helped with my daughter's patience at restaurants is that we started putting a booster seat in a booth with us and stopped using a high chair. As soon as she could sit with us and not in the open, she is much better. We also order her food as soon as the waiter approaches us so that she will be able to eat slowly and she also won't start fussing from hunger.


As for potty training, we're still int he process as well. I'll just tell you what people are telling me: don't try to rush it and push it down their throat or they will fight it. As for the poop thing, personally I would demand that any messes like that that happens on her dad's watch is something that he will have to clean up. Him not paying enough attention to her to realize she shat herself is ridiculous.

lifeforchrist
by on Oct. 13, 2012 at 11:52 AM

Sounds exactly like my 2yo. A few months ago she was like this and out of control. I was nervous to go anywhere and I couldnt figure out why other kids her age weren't. Well I did start flicking her hand when she got out of line and that got her attention. She responds very well to it. Some form of dicipline needs to be in place, and consistent. So if its time out give her 3 strikes and then time out everytime.

The other big thing was food. She has these issues on certain foods. I would suggest avoiding High fructose corn syrup, ALL msg and really reduce wheat and sugar intake. My dd is on agf diet and was df for a long time. I saw a HUGE improvement with her behaviour and she's a much happier girl. Kick processed foods and start making everything for her so you know exactly what goes in! It gets better I promise@!

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)