Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

 this is not a bash at all. i really want to understand. i have seen a lot of posts about young toddlers who don't like their daddy or are still attached to the boob 24/7. that is not what i want for my next child. i want to bf til 2 but my original understanding was that meant a few times a day like morning, nap, and night after age 1. i also can't imagine having a child who isn't in love with dh. i didn't bf past a few weeks and i have worked part time or been in school since ds was 4 weeks old. dh and ds have this incredible bond! i can't imagine a future child not having that. it would make me very very sad. and dh too. so am i going against all natural parenting if i limit bf after one and encourage alone daddy time? or is there a good way to balance it?

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers


Lilypie Third Birthday tickers




 




Notes:

by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Replies (11-20):
BlessingsMama
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 3:41 PM
It was suppose to say wouldn't not would. I'm mobile.


Quoting soulofsunmama:

I absolutely agree with this...except limiting breastfeeding, I wouldn't ever recommend that personally,lol, but they WILL figure it all out!:-)



Quoting BlessingsMama:

I think it depends on the baby and daddy. There are certainly ways in which dad and baby can bond regardless of whether they are breastfed. My DS and DH are very well bonded. DS is 20 months old breastfed and am pregnant with our second. I think it is important to let dad (especially first timers) have the chance to discover their own methods for soothing and comforting baby. If DS is with me or knows I am home he most often wants to nurse to sleep. There are plenty of times he will just go cuddle with dad and fall asleep or even nurse and then go cuddle and fall asleep with DH. There are times too he cuddles in between the two of us and falls asleep without nursing at all.





My son gets extremely excited when DH gets home. Everyday when he leaves we go outside and he waves to him while saying buh-bye. For my DH it was hardest the first 6 months but it was a learning experience. I would limit BF. I would encourage daddy and baby bonding. That includes mommy night outs/off.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
soulofsunmama
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 3:46 PM
1 mom liked this
Haahaa, that makes MUCH more sense, I almost even asked you if that was a typo...:)

Quoting BlessingsMama:

It was suppose to say wouldn't not would. I'm mobile.




Quoting soulofsunmama:

I absolutely agree with this...except limiting breastfeeding, I wouldn't ever recommend that personally,lol, but they WILL figure it all out!:-)





Quoting BlessingsMama:

I think it depends on the baby and daddy. There are certainly ways in which dad and baby can bond regardless of whether they are breastfed. My DS and DH are very well bonded. DS is 20 months old breastfed and am pregnant with our second. I think it is important to let dad (especially first timers) have the chance to discover their own methods for soothing and comforting baby. If DS is with me or knows I am home he most often wants to nurse to sleep. There are plenty of times he will just go cuddle with dad and fall asleep or even nurse and then go cuddle and fall asleep with DH. There are times too he cuddles in between the two of us and falls asleep without nursing at all.







My son gets extremely excited when DH gets home. Everyday when he leaves we go outside and he waves to him while saying buh-bye. For my DH it was hardest the first 6 months but it was a learning experience. I would limit BF. I would encourage daddy and baby bonding. That includes mommy night outs/off.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
larissalarie
by Gold Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 4:50 PM
1 mom liked this
Yes if Dad is regularly involved it's not an issue!!! What can Dad do? Anything other than feed! He can bathe them, dress them, diaper them, cuddle them, hold them while they sleep...there's a gazillion ways to bond besides feeding. I know plenty of formula feeding moms who have the same problem you fear and it's because Dad left all baby care to Mom, not how Mom decided to feed the baby.

If you bf past 1, you CAN limit nursing to specific times if that's what you are comfortable with or you can still go completely on demand. I've done it both ways and both ways are fine.


Quoting melindabelcher:

I find when dad is consistently and actively involved from the begining it's not an issue. It's when dad defaults to mom for everything regardless of feeding method.

Nursing after 1 is up to you. I continued to nurse on demand/before solids until 18mo then on demand as much as possible until self weaning shes currently 3yo and nursing 1-3times a day. However at 2 it was closer to 6-10 times a day
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
EthansMomma2010
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 4:58 PM
Thanks for the input. Good to know I can limit and still bf. I am just not sure I will even be available to nurse that often so I was hoping I could limit it and go from there.
dh does other things with DS so I guess he will just do the same with a new baby


Quoting larissalarie:

Yes if Dad is regularly involved it's not an issue!!! What can Dad do? Anything other than feed! He can bathe them, dress them, diaper them, cuddle them, hold them while they sleep...there's a gazillion ways to bond besides feeding. I know plenty of formula feeding moms who have the same problem you fear and it's because Dad left all baby care to Mom, not how Mom decided to feed the baby.



If you bf past 1, you CAN limit nursing to specific times if that's what you are comfortable with or you can still go completely on demand. I've done it both ways and both ways are fine.




Quoting melindabelcher:

I find when dad is consistently and actively involved from the begining it's not an issue. It's when dad defaults to mom for everything regardless of feeding method.


Nursing after 1 is up to you. I continued to nurse on demand/before solids until 18mo then on demand as much as possible until self weaning shes currently 3yo and nursing 1-3times a day. However at 2 it was closer to 6-10 times a day
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
catholicmamamia
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 5:09 PM
3 moms liked this

My four children are all very attached to their father, and all were ecologically breastfed and naturally weaned. There is no reason why children cannot be attached to both mother and father.. each parents differently and has something else to offer! There are great books out there for attachment parenting families and the father's role.. this book is one of my favorites! 


         

cemcnair
by Courtney on Nov. 20, 2012 at 5:22 PM
It's very much up to you! If you want to cut back nursing to just a few times after a year, do it! Chase nursed frequently until about 18-20 months. We night weaned him, and that cut down some. Now at 27 months, he nurses before bed (and not every night), and before nap on weekends (I work full time). He goes through different stages of wanting Mommy or Daddy more and has his whole life. He and DH have a very strong bond. He runs to his Daddy everyday when when we get home. He loves to play outside and wrestle with Daddy. He fixes things with Daddy. Attachment/natural parenting is not one size fits all. Do it to your level of comfort, but I promise, if Dad is there and active in the child's life, they will have a close bond :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
sreichelt26
by Bronze Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 6:30 PM

Mine's 18 months and loves her boob, but she's ALL about her daddy right now. They've always had a special relationship, but now she asks where he is when he's gone and copies everything he does. She even will sit on the couch next to him with her toy laptop while he's on his laptop

EthansMomma2010
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 6:41 PM
1 mom liked this
Mine does this too. Lol.except he is copying me. We have a pic of DS in a lazyboy with a bottle and remote copying dh tho. Lol

Quoting sreichelt26:

Mine's 18 months and loves her boob, but she's ALL about her daddy right now. They've always had a special relationship, but now she asks where he is when he's gone and copies everything he does. She even will sit on the couch next to him with her toy laptop while he's on his laptop

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
louzannalady
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:35 PM

DS1 was EBF the first six months, but was still mostly breast fed for his nutrion. DS2 is four months and EBF. Both of our boys love DH like crazy! : ) Very big Daddy's boys! He loves to give them baths! : ) That is "their" time. I just bring in one kid and catch the one that was washed. It works great! DS1 loves sitting in Daddy's lap and watching Let's Plays and hunting and shooting videos on YouTube. DS2 is only four months, so he still is a little bit attached to me, but much less than DS1. 

Sarah725
by Group Mod - Sarah on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:30 AM

 I work part time so when I'm at work I think DH and my kids get some good bonding time in.  Also we do things together as a family on the weekends so that helps to.  The childs personality has a lot to do with it also.  My first son is just a daddy's boy where our newest son is a mommy's boy.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)