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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

 this is not a bash at all. i really want to understand. i have seen a lot of posts about young toddlers who don't like their daddy or are still attached to the boob 24/7. that is not what i want for my next child. i want to bf til 2 but my original understanding was that meant a few times a day like morning, nap, and night after age 1. i also can't imagine having a child who isn't in love with dh. i didn't bf past a few weeks and i have worked part time or been in school since ds was 4 weeks old. dh and ds have this incredible bond! i can't imagine a future child not having that. it would make me very very sad. and dh too. so am i going against all natural parenting if i limit bf after one and encourage alone daddy time? or is there a good way to balance it?

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by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Replies (21-29):
mostlymaydays
by Bronze Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 9:38 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't think this is a breastfeeding issue in any way. My dh never gave any of my 4 babies a bottle. He would hold them, even when they were inconsolably unpleasant, danced and sang with them, changed diapers. And my babies breastfed to 15 months, two babies to 24 months and my fourth to 39 months. My kids are *at least* as bonded to dh as to me.
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VintageWife
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 10:37 AM
I have a 2.5 yr old bf'd daddy's girl.
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lifeforchrist
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 11:32 AM

I wouldn't limit bfing to promote daddy. It will only make the child insecure and probably make them more mommy prone. My dd was mommy only from birth, she only wanted me all the time. But now at 2 she prefers daddy. It goes in stages.

EthansMomma2010
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 12:50 PM
Sorry to make it unclear. The bf was supposed to be a separate issue. I just personally am not comfortable doing extensive bf past age 1. It is not an issue of daddy bonding. The bf is an issue of my comfort level and time constraints. The daddy boding had to do with giving him ways to comfort and play with his infant. Does that make sense cuz I feel like it doesn't. Lol

Quoting lifeforchrist:

I wouldn't limit bfing to promote daddy. It will only make the child insecure and probably make them more mommy prone. My dd was mommy only from birth, she only wanted me all the time. But now at 2 she prefers daddy. It goes in stages.

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jconney80
by Group Mod on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:38 PM
Both of my kids who have been EBF have awesome relationships with my hubby. Since our kids are high needs and have sleep issues he's spent lots and lots of time wearing them to put them to sleep or give me a break. He sings to them, bathes them, plays with them, feeds them, reads to them, and basically just is very involved in every aspect of their lives.

I'm not sure about everyone else but I don't see an EBF kiddo going down to nursing that small amount until after 2 years old. My son slowed down when he got mobile but then picked back up around 17-18 months. He now is down to 2-4 times a day at 2.5almost 3 years old.

I don't think BF has anything to do with dads not having good relationships. It can depend on the childs personality and the dads knowledge/ experience. A lot of men don't know how to be involved and hands on because they don't know what it looks like. Some women don't know how to surrender some of the everyday duties or control of tending to babies. My hubby didn't have any kids and he had no experience with kids at all. His dad was a provider for his family but he wasn't emotionally very involved or a cuddly type. I noticed that my hubby didn't really know how to play with our son. He also didn't know where to fill in and what would help me out. We did lots and lots of talking and reading about what babies/ toddlers/ kids need and how to give it to them. It took me speaking up to show him how to do things so that he didn't feel clueless. Now he's really awesome with them. Anyways you really just have to take all of that into account. Forcing your child to nurse less to bond more with dad could backfire. I would let them grow out of it naturally and just push quality time with dad from the very beginning. Set up special time everyday that is dads job like bath or book time when they get older.

Kids are naturally immediately attached to mom when nursing but it doesn't mean they can't be attached to dad either.
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jconney80
by Group Mod on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:39 PM
Honestly after they're so old they don't nurse that long. I call it "drive by nursing" when they're toddlers and decide that they want to nurse then run off lol. You might surprise yourself. It's hard to imagine if you've had a bottle fed child. I never could imagine myself nursing a toddler but when I started nursing my son I fell totally and completely in love. I knew within the first few months that I would be nursing until 2. Here we are going strong still and 3 years will be here in less than 3 months and I've been tandem nursing for 14 months. You never know what will change you=) I say that in the nicest way possible with no judgment. IDK what happened your first time BF but my first attempt with my oldest was a nightmare and I couldn't imagine the bond that those crazy BF hormones give you =)
Quoting EthansMomma2010:

Sorry to make it unclear. The bf was supposed to be a separate issue. I just personally am not comfortable doing extensive bf past age 1. It is not an issue of daddy bonding. The bf is an issue of my comfort level and time constraints. The daddy boding had to do with giving him ways to comfort and play with his infant. Does that make sense cuz I feel like it doesn't. Lol



Quoting lifeforchrist:

I wouldn't limit bfing to promote daddy. It will only make the child insecure and probably make them more mommy prone. My dd was mommy only from birth, she only wanted me all the time. But now at 2 she prefers daddy. It goes in stages.

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Precious333
by Gold Member on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:44 PM
lol...drive by nursing!


Quoting jconney80:

Honestly after they're so old they don't nurse that long. I call it "drive by nursing" when they're toddlers and decide that they want to nurse then run off lol.



Quoting EthansMomma2010:

Sorry to make it unclear. The bf was supposed to be a separate issue. I just personally am not comfortable doing extensive bf past age 1. It is not an issue of daddy bonding. The bf is an issue of my comfort level and time constraints. The daddy boding had to do with giving him ways to comfort and play with his infant. Does that make sense cuz I feel like it doesn't. Lol





Quoting lifeforchrist:

I wouldn't limit bfing to promote daddy. It will only make the child insecure and probably make them more mommy prone. My dd was mommy only from birth, she only wanted me all the time. But now at 2 she prefers daddy. It goes in stages.


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catholicmamamia
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:49 PM

laughing 

Quoting Precious333: lol...drive by nursing!
Quoting jconney80: Honestly after they're so old they don't nurse that long. I call it "drive by nursing" when they're toddlers and decide that they want to nurse then run off lol.


         

JoJoBean8
by Group Mod on Nov. 24, 2012 at 6:23 PM

I think it depends on the child. My dd was bottle feed and went through a time in her toddler years that she wanted no parts of daddy. Kids go through cycles when it comes to being closer to one parent vs the other. 

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