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Considering a Midwife

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:14 AM
  • 7 Replies

I'm pregnant with my 2nd baby. My son, Nash, is 7. I had him when I was 19 and my pregnancy was perfect. I had no complications and am hoping for the same result this time. However, when it came to the labor and delivery I wasn't totally happy. I can only describe it as medical.

I felt like my doctor was being too pushy with trying to hurry things along to get Nash out. I went in for a check-up on my due date and I wasn't showing any signs of going into labor. I wasn't worried since both Nash and I were healthy. My doctor decided I wasn't going to go into labor on my own and scheduled me for an induction. During the induction I was given pitocin. My doctor didn't like how slow things were going and kept uping the dosage. I was in so much pain that I ended up getting an epidural. Nash's heart had dips from the contractions so I was also given oxygen. I felt like I was constantly being checked and wasn't able to simply labor like my body was meant to do. When it finally came time to deliver I again felt like my doctor was in a hurry. He kept telling me "Okay you're having a contraction. Push". I couldn't feel anything because of the epidural so pushing was hard. Instead of turning the epidural down (or off) they just had me keep pushing. After 2 hours I'd barely moved Nash down. My doctor told me if I didn't deliver soon I'd have to have a c-section. I finally spoke up and told them to take the epidural out. Instead of letting me take a rest and get some energy back, my doctor just kept telling me to push. The next hour I made some progress, but I was so tired from the useless pushing I'd done the previous 2 hours. The only glimmer of hope was that Nash's heart still looked good. Finally after 3 hours (almost 3 and a half), they could see Nash's head. My doctor didn't think I had enough strength to push him out so decided to use forceps. I didn't want forceps, but he said that he didn't think Nash was going to come just from my pushing. So being a newbie mom I agreed because I thought it was safer. Half an hour later Nash was finally out and in my arms. He had marks on his head from the forceps, and I had a small tear.

It all felt so unnecessary. I know I probably should've spoken up more, but I was young and unsure. This time around I want to do things my way. I want things to happen naturally. I want to go into labor on my own. Labor at home with Chris (boyfriend) and Nash as long as I can. Go to the hospital when my body tells me it's time. Use the birthing ball, shower/tub....anything the will help keep me relaxed. I'm not saying I won't use pain medication, but I at least want to try not to. When it's time to push, I want to do it when my body tells me to. I also want my baby to come out crying and strong. Nash was so floppy and tired. I also want to help catch my baby, or maybe have Chris do it. Nash's dad wasn't able to do any of that. I know not all doctors are like the one I had, but I truly believe a midwife will be supportive of my requests. Of course I'll accept medical intervention if it's a question of safety because I don't want to put my or my baby's life at risk. I just want a nicer experience this time.

Sorry this was so long. Thanks for listening ladies. I appreciate it.

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:14 AM
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by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 12:51 AM

Your story sounds sadly like a typical hospital birth with an impatient practitioner...  :(

I say go for a midwife!  And have you thought about giving birth at a free-standing birth center that is NOT associated with a hospital?  Most areas (even towns of 10,000 people) have at least one! 

REMEMBER that CNMs (Certified Nurse Midwives) are NURSES first and midwives second.  While they might be more supportive of a natural birth than an OB, they are fully versed in and prepared to use medical interventions.

A CPM (Certified Professional Midwife) does have midwife certification, but no proper nursing certification.  (Same with other direct-entry midwives).  They'll transfer you to a hosptial in case of a medical emergency, but they don't tend to promote medical interventions nearly as much as CNMs.

Consider their backgrounds carefully when you interview them...

Good luck!

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 1:03 AM
You can consider a midwife but if you do decide to go with an OB know that all of those things that happened, they can't FORCE you to do. They can pressure you for it, but ultimately it's your body, your baby, and you're decision. So midwife or doctor know that YOU can take charge of your medical care. Some midwives use pressure tactics a well, so it's wise to do your homework and not blindly trust any one person
Good luck!
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by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:10 PM

I had a midwife for my first baby, and I'm using the same birth center and midwives this time. My birth experience was incredible. We chose a birth center because I have severe asthma, and the birth center is a couple blocks from the hospital, so if I need to be transfered and get intervention my midwives can't provide, I'm close enough to the hospital to have a successful transfer.

My midwives (2) are both CNMs so they can write prescriptions and do a lot of the same things an OB can within limits. 

My midwives fully support natural birth. With Cooper, I labored at home until I was ready to go to the birth center. I labored in water and moved a lot. I chose to give birth on the bed because I got too hot in the water. My son was born and wouldn't cry and was turning a little blue, so they gave him oxygen while my love held him. It was all about my ability to give birth and trusting my body, but it was good to know I had the resources there to save my son and I if need be, or if I changed my mind and wanted the pain relief. My birth was incredibly empowering and I loved it, and I did make it all the way through without getting the pain relief.

Look into a midwife. Go with someone you can talk to, someone you can trust, and someone that will keep you informed.

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 5:21 PM

Best thing to do is interview some Midwifes & ask questions, see who you think will click best with.

#1 I had a hospital birth. Many things went on I didnt like.. Didnt want that again.... Baby #2 we got a midwife in a birthing center. I mainly labored at home then trasfered when i felt like the time was soon. I think I was at the Birthing Center 2hrs before giving birth & I had a short labor (midnight I went into labor,  labor pains started around 1-2am, had baby @7:30a).. It was awesome. Baby never left my side, no one touched him without asking/explaining. Me, baby, hubby & family was treated with love & respect!

When I had a hospital birth I felt we where owned by the hospital & our life was in their hands. It wasnt until we where home I felt dd was "mine".. DS was mine always! I felt I had more control of my health (and took better care of myself with the midewifes help) during pregancy. I felt in control of birth & afterward.

But not all midwifes are equal! So get to know them, see if you can get any info on them online, or hear from past moms.

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 4:40 AM

i agree with all of the above :) baby 1 and baby 2 were born in a hospital. they over medicated me, took my baby away for hours, would not let me leave when i wanted to, did not follow my requests that they be brought to me to nurse during the night,  and yes- i felt like my baby was hospital property untill i went home. baby 3- i found a midwife- we clicked almost instantly. i had a comfortable, safe, low key pregnancy. i started to leak amniotic fluid at 41 weeks, she put me into labor ( in accordence with my states health laws stating if you're leaking am. fluid you need to be in 'active' labor within 24 hours, or go to the hospital for induction) without ANY drugs and delivered my baby in a birthing center. he was never out of my sight, i never got an iv or shot of any kind, we went home when he was 3 hours old. my mid wife came to my house the next morning to check on us. it was an amazing experience! if i ever had another baby- my midwife would be my first call :)

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 8:07 PM

I had a hospital birth with my first and am having a home birth and using a midwife for my current pregnancy. If you use a midwife you have to understand something. Most midwives practice outside of hospitals. Most do home births or use birthing centers. Also, they will not give you any pain medications. They do have medication on hand at the birth, but will only use them for medical reasons. If you want pain meds, I would stick with an OB. My adivce is to hire a Doula. She is your voice and support during labor and delivery. She will be with you at the hospital or at home. If they try to do something you are not okay with, she will speak up for you or with you. That is what she is there for. And remember, if you think your OB is going to do stuff you don't like, fire them! You hired your doctor to satisfy your needs and if she/he doesn't please you, hire someone else who will. A lot of people don't think of doctor's offices or hospitals as a business, but they are just that. They are there to make money.

So my advice to you is to not hire a midwife. Choose an OB that will follow your birth plan. Then hire a Doula. She will be there to support you and speak up for you. Nurses can be pushy and there is no way to choose what nurses you have. Go to this link and you can research more about Doulas and what they do. You can even search for one in your area. I hope this is helpful. Good luck to you and your BF. I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

~Jen~ Group Owner of Bringing Birth Home.                                                                                                              I am a home birthing, breastfeeding, midwife using, cloth diapering, delayed cord cutting, natural birthing type of mama!

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:57 PM

I would interview some midwives

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