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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Homebirthers... I need your help! (piog)

 Okay... DH has only mentioned it twice, and the first 2 times I really thought it was mostly joking, BUT he really wants us to have Aria at home in the hot tub...

I am a WUSS with pain (no joke) I scream like a banchee during labor and I honestly dont know if its because im in a hospital OR because thats just how my body works. My last baby, my son, was supposed to be a hospital waterbirth with my midwife. I went in shortly after my water had broken, and when I got to my room I sat on the bed while they were filling the tub. They brought in the birthing ball and everything. Somehow my contractions just instantly got stronger and closer together within 10 minutes of sitting down. At some point my back started to hurt and I felt like I had to lay down, and well that was the end of that. I was stuck laying down. The pain of contractions would not let me have control, I felt OUT of control. I had a wet washcloth over my head and was completely wrapped in blankets just screaming through each contraction. My midwife and friend both tried very hard to convince me to get to the tub. The only thing that got me to sit up was the epidural on the way.

I really want to have a water birth, I really want to NOT have an epidural. Both of my full term birth experiences make me feel like I may not be able to (although I know my body can birth a baby, I just dont know if I can handle the pain, because Ive tried).

BUT I really want DH to have a say, and he thinks that if I was not in the hospital and was comfortable in my own home, that it would be easier for me to cope and the fact that an epidural isnt available would basically give me no choice.

Here is the catch... It would have to be an un assisted birth. My midwife only practices in hospitals (and i dont hold this against her because she is that amazing, and has had all her own babies at home). The good news is we are about 5 minutes from the hospital.

What are things that I should have my midwife check for, to make sure I am safe/healthy to have a homebirth? When my son was born, I had a little more bleeding than normal. I didnt need pit or anything, and I hadnt torn and I was fine but I worry about that being a bigger issue this next time around. I am also overweight, dont know if that matters.

Anyway, help experiences ect would be great.

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
jenncatsmeow
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:06 PM

Is it possible to have your midwife recommend a homebirth midwife she knows/trusts? And/or to hire her as a doula...that way you have her with you, but she's not legally responsible...and you can have her guidence?  But at the same time a licensed/certified homebirth midwife will still be with you?

XxPixiesworldxX
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:22 PM

 Thanks ladies! There is only 1 homebirth midwife in my area, which is crazy considering this is a fairly well populated place. I will contact her after new years and get a quote on costs and how she works ect. I have a few of my clients (im a photographer) use her for their homebirths so I am slightly familiar with her. I do have a doula who is also a massage therapist and works with oils, i LOVE her!

peaches_04
by Platinum Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:11 AM
Is that a book,movie...??

Quoting joyful_mama:

Sounds to me like you might have some fear/anxiety issues that need to be worked through. "Birthing from Within" might be of some help to you.

I think others will have more/better advice beyond that.

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Peera
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:24 AM
2 moms liked this

Book. Awesome book. I read it after I had my son, and it really helped me work through some issues I hadn't even realized I had about his birth, and solidify my plans for the next time!

Quoting peaches_04:

Is that a book,movie...??

Quoting joyful_mama:

Sounds to me like you might have some fear/anxiety issues that need to be worked through. "Birthing from Within" might be of some help to you.

I think others will have more/better advice beyond that.


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XxPixiesworldxX
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:54 PM

 Thank you!!! I found contact info for the one homebirth midwife around here so I will be contacting her so we can do an interview. I really hope I like her!

Quoting NDFanatik:

I agree with Catholicmamamia.  Looking into other mw's might be the best option.  There's not a lot of time really to prepare.  And I second her suggestion of a doula.  Should you go to the hospital, def get a doula!!  I had one for my natural hopsital birth and she was a great help. 

Here are documents for UC should you choose to go that route (although I suggest looking into other options first).  Here is the Emergency Childbirth manual that is very good to have on hand.  I'm asking permission to post a guide to UC from another group so you can see more in detail the different things to look into.  3-4mths isn't a lot of time though. 

 

Lurion
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:28 PM

It's great to take your husband's wishes into account, but he's not the on having the baby!! 

I had my first two naturally, no problem, 9.5 and 9lb. But the third came so quickly, I was begging for drugs. Each birth is different. You shouldn't be pressured to take the epidural option off the table if you're not 100% comfortable with that. It will stress you out more. 

It may differ by state, but my midwife had a checklist of criteria that must be met before she was legally allowed to assist in a home birth. For my third child, they didn't let me have her at home because I was 38 and had gained a lot of weight. Terrible experience. 

I had the first two naturally at a free-standing birthing facility--do they have those where you live? Just like a house. Wonderful. 

Best of luck!


Precious333
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:31 PM
what about having a doula?
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XxPixiesworldxX
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:55 PM

 Well, I originally wanted a homebirth with my son but at the time was very poor and on the medical card so a hospital birth was completely covered, so I went with natural at the hospital with my midwife. I caved in the end and cried for an epi... I really do WANT a non medicated birth, but I do have a very low threshold for pain. I thought about laboring at home as long as possible and if I cant stand it, we can go in to the hospital. I have the same midwife for this birth so I feel confident that I can have the birth I want at the hospital, BUT I dont want to stay there, and they always try to find a reason to keep you for 3 or 4 days. Homebirth, would be ideal. We dont have any birthing centers here.

Quoting Lurion:

It's great to take your husband's wishes into account, but he's not the on having the baby!! 

I had my first two naturally, no problem, 9.5 and 9lb. But the third came so quickly, I was begging for drugs. Each birth is different. You shouldn't be pressured to take the epidural option off the table if you're not 100% comfortable with that. It will stress you out more. 

It may differ by state, but my midwife had a checklist of criteria that must be met before she was legally allowed to assist in a home birth. For my third child, they didn't let me have her at home because I was 38 and had gained a lot of weight. Terrible experience. 

I had the first two naturally at a free-standing birthing facility--do they have those where you live? Just like a house. Wonderful. 

Best of luck!

 

 

XxPixiesworldxX
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:56 PM
1 mom liked this

 I do have one, sort of. She isnt licensed or anything like that, but she has "doula'd" for other women she knows in the past and she is a great friend and a very calming presence for me and to top it off she is a massage therapist/healer/essential oil user. I really love her.

Quoting Precious333:

what about having a doula?

 

charity987
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:05 PM

Without an epidural, you may find it to be different & may get to leave earlier. You might have to "push" a little, but with my last 2, we stayed for the minimum 24 hours and then we were out of there!

Quoting XxPixiesworldxX:

 Well, I originally wanted a homebirth with my son but at the time was very poor and on the medical card so a hospital birth was completely covered, so I went with natural at the hospital with my midwife. I caved in the end and cried for an epi... I really do WANT a non medicated birth, but I do have a very low threshold for pain. I thought about laboring at home as long as possible and if I cant stand it, we can go in to the hospital. I have the same midwife for this birth so I feel confident that I can have the birth I want at the hospital, BUT I dont want to stay there, and they always try to find a reason to keep you for 3 or 4 days. Homebirth, would be ideal. We dont have any birthing centers here.

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