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Homebirthers... I need your help! (piog)

 Okay... DH has only mentioned it twice, and the first 2 times I really thought it was mostly joking, BUT he really wants us to have Aria at home in the hot tub...

I am a WUSS with pain (no joke) I scream like a banchee during labor and I honestly dont know if its because im in a hospital OR because thats just how my body works. My last baby, my son, was supposed to be a hospital waterbirth with my midwife. I went in shortly after my water had broken, and when I got to my room I sat on the bed while they were filling the tub. They brought in the birthing ball and everything. Somehow my contractions just instantly got stronger and closer together within 10 minutes of sitting down. At some point my back started to hurt and I felt like I had to lay down, and well that was the end of that. I was stuck laying down. The pain of contractions would not let me have control, I felt OUT of control. I had a wet washcloth over my head and was completely wrapped in blankets just screaming through each contraction. My midwife and friend both tried very hard to convince me to get to the tub. The only thing that got me to sit up was the epidural on the way.

I really want to have a water birth, I really want to NOT have an epidural. Both of my full term birth experiences make me feel like I may not be able to (although I know my body can birth a baby, I just dont know if I can handle the pain, because Ive tried).

BUT I really want DH to have a say, and he thinks that if I was not in the hospital and was comfortable in my own home, that it would be easier for me to cope and the fact that an epidural isnt available would basically give me no choice.

Here is the catch... It would have to be an un assisted birth. My midwife only practices in hospitals (and i dont hold this against her because she is that amazing, and has had all her own babies at home). The good news is we are about 5 minutes from the hospital.

What are things that I should have my midwife check for, to make sure I am safe/healthy to have a homebirth? When my son was born, I had a little more bleeding than normal. I didnt need pit or anything, and I hadnt torn and I was fine but I worry about that being a bigger issue this next time around. I am also overweight, dont know if that matters.

Anyway, help experiences ect would be great.

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 6:46 PM
Replies (21-26):
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:05 PM
2 moms liked this

I would get connected with your local homebirth community and see what other midwives are available. Some don't advertise publicly. If money is an issue you may be able to find a CPM or DEM just starting out that would be able to work with you on a sliding scale basis. 

by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:11 PM
1 mom liked this
thats great! several things I learned whe dealing with pain management during childbirth are to move around during labor, pay attention to your breathing and visualize labor. It helped for me to see contractions as waves and to picture mself climbing up a mountain. when I am at the point where I think I cant take it anymore than I know its all downhill from there. Maybe that will help u as well.

Quoting XxPixiesworldxX:

 I do have one, sort of. She isnt licensed or anything like that, but she has "doula'd" for other women she knows in the past and she is a great friend and a very calming presence for me and to top it off she is a massage therapist/healer/essential oil user. I really love her.

Quoting Precious333:

what about having a doula?


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by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 5:31 PM

Have you looked into hypnobirthing? I loved it. I didnt have a 100% peaceful birth but it taught me tons!

I believe the hospital enviroment can make things more painful.. And when you start feeling pain have your hubby remind you to relax. breath calmly.. We want to tighten up during contractions but they are less intense if u teach yourself to let them go & try to be limp as possible.

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 6:10 PM

there are many things you can do to handle the pain of childbirth, from your post i do think that anxiety and fear (of pain) have something to do with it.

I also believe that a hospital may actually cause you to experience the pain as far worse than it actually is because it is a medical enviroment where all the pain meds are available (if that makes sense).

What i would do is to maybe make some appointments with hb midwives and look into the various methods that are used for natural birth like hypnobirthing.

Try to remember that our bodies are made for childbirth and trust your body to be able to do what it takes!

by on Jan. 1, 2013 at 12:45 AM
1 mom liked this

I had my last baby at home it was wonderful. I had a midwife. I scream too. But I never asked for drugs cause I was at home. I would highly recommend a homebirth with a midwife. I would also recommend a birth class geared for home births. Do you get much of a tax return? I would use that to do a home birth. It's always surprising for me to hear that home births cost more. Here where I live a home birth is a lot cheaper then hospital and state insurance paid for most of it.

by on Jan. 2, 2013 at 7:45 PM
1 mom liked this

I hope you can find an option so you get the birth you want.

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