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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Tough Decisions

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:40 PM
  • 29 Replies

I am 19 weeks pregnant with baby #4. I have learned SO much in the last 5 years, since my oldest was born & I feel like I've been continually chasing after my perfect birth experience. My 1st was a terrible experience that nearly ended in c-s. My 2nd, I switched to a midwife (or should I say, medwife) & nearly ended up with a c-s again. My last birth was much closer to what I was desiring, but still left me lacking. (I labored on my own, but delivered in the hospital - again with a medwife). I had REALLY wanted to do a homebirth this time around. There are 3 hb midwives that cover my area. 1 of them is unavailable around my due date. And the other 2, I just didn't love or feel a connection with. In the process of interviewing & trying to make a decision (and trying to figure out where the money would come from in the budget), I thought that I had a vaginal prolapse. I tried to go back to the office that I went to for my last 2 babies, but they were "too busy" to see me for 2 weeks & recommended that I go to the ER. I wasn't happy with the way I was treated (I've later found out that their office has gone through lots of changes since I was there last.), so I called another office. They are close to home & have 2 OBs. I got in the same day to be seen & found out that I had a serious infection. I've stayed with them for prenatal visits, but this office is known to be very pro-induction & pro-c-section.

I've seriously considered doing a planned, unassisted homebirth, but I also have fear (mostly based on being un-educated) about it. I also don't know how supportive DH would be about it. He wasn't yet completely convinced about a mw assisted hb. At this moment, my current plan is to wait labor out as long as possible & show up at the hospital just in time to push. However, I know that this can lead to an unplanned UC. I don't really want the fight with the hospital either about no vit-k, no eye drops, no hep b, etc. I don't want my baby's birth to be surrounded by having to fight to keep him/her as she was born.

Anyhow, all of this is what has lead me to this group & I just thought I'd share it all with you. If any of you have any thoughts or advice, I'll happily read them :)

by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 12:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
tansyflower
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:00 PM
1 mom liked this

please join the group "birth is normal" they are GREAT and have a ton of info of selfcare and unassisted births :)

Precious333
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:05 PM
I wish had some awesome advice for you. Im trying to work out our homebirth too and am not sure what we should do either. I have had one hospital....traumatic birth....and two homebirths. I have to say that although the homebirths were near perfection....they werent perfect....I dont know that a perfect birth exists. I hope you find a solution you and your DH are at peace with.
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charity987
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:10 PM


Quoting tansyflower:

please join the group "birth is normal" they are GREAT and have a ton of info of selfcare and unassisted births :)

THANK YOU!!! I will do that!

larissalarie
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:21 PM
If they let you join! They denied me :-(

OP I hope you get the birth you want. I never worried about a "perfect" birth, seems to me the people chasing perfect births ate usually disappointed, even when they do have an amazing natural birth.


Quoting tansyflower:

please join the group "birth is normal" they are GREAT and have a ton of info of selfcare and unassisted births :)

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
charity987
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I applied, so we'll see what happens.

And it's not so much to me about a "perfect" birth, but I want a NATURAL birth & I have yet been allowed to have one. I was pretty close with my last one, but I had to stay close to the bed, so I could be on the stupid monitor! And then they insisted that I MUST have an IV port "just in case" and then the medwife took full advantage of that IV & hooked me up to Pit to deliver the placenta, after she broke my water to "hurry up the process" (it's not like SHE had been there long. She finally showed her face at the hospital about 30 minutes before he was born.) And then I had to FIGHT for them to leave the crap out of his eyes & not to give him Vitamin K. It was just all ridiculous & unnecessary and I want to avoid it this time if at all possible.

Quoting larissalarie:

If they let you join! They denied me :-(

OP I hope you get the birth you want. I never worried about a "perfect" birth, seems to me the people chasing perfect births ate usually disappointed, even when they do have an amazing natural birth.


Quoting tansyflower:

please join the group "birth is normal" they are GREAT and have a ton of info of selfcare and unassisted births :)


tansyflower
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:35 PM

WHAT?!  why the heck would they denied you?  that is so weird O.o

Quoting larissalarie:

If they let you join! They denied me :-(

OP I hope you get the birth you want. I never worried about a "perfect" birth, seems to me the people chasing perfect births ate usually disappointed, even when they do have an amazing natural birth.


Quoting tansyflower:

please join the group "birth is normal" they are GREAT and have a ton of info of selfcare and unassisted births :)


larissalarie
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Who knows?! I mean sheesh, 3 kids and never even so much as a drop of pitocin or an epidural have been in my body! Maybe because I have hospital births I'm not "natural" enough?

Quoting tansyflower:

WHAT?!  why the heck would they denied you?  that is so weird O.o

Quoting larissalarie:

If they let you join! They denied me :-(



OP I hope you get the birth you want. I never worried about a "perfect" birth, seems to me the people chasing perfect births ate usually disappointed, even when they do have an amazing natural birth.




Quoting tansyflower:

please join the group "birth is normal" they are GREAT and have a ton of info of selfcare and unassisted births :)


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
notjstanothrmom
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:42 PM
1 mom liked this

Sounds like you're going through a tough time here. If it were me, I would rather hire a homebirth midwife that I wasn't completely in love with over going to the hospital. There are so many risks you encounter with a hospital birth. Your midwife will be able to get to know you over the next 20 weeks and you will have nice long visits and get to know each other more then the quick one hour "Hi, my name is and this is what I do" interviews.

If you have fear surrounding an UC, then I absolutely do not reccomend it. I am having my first home birth. I have a group of midwives, some with whom I've connected with more then others. I feel it's in my best interest to have them there because I won't have to worry. With an UC, not only would I have to fully emmerse myself into the unknowns, but I would have to teach my partner and rely on him to be able to know and help in the case of something going wrong.

tansyflower
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:47 PM
1 mom liked this

well they are pretty anti-hospital birth but i think its stupid that they wouldnt let woman in so they could get as much education as possible.  it would probably help a lot of woman make a different choice if they knew what the possibilities were.  i dont care where a woman gives birth, natural IS still natural! 

i know they try really hard to keep the trolls out, but you my dear do not live under a bridge nor do you terrorize little goats :)

Quoting larissalarie:

Who knows?! I mean sheesh, 3 kids and never even so much as a drop of pitocin or an epidural have been in my body! Maybe because I have hospital births I'm not "natural" enough?

Quoting tansyflower:

WHAT?!  why the heck would they denied you?  that is so weird O.o

Quoting larissalarie:

If they let you join! They denied me :-(



OP I hope you get the birth you want. I never worried about a "perfect" birth, seems to me the people chasing perfect births ate usually disappointed, even when they do have an amazing natural birth.




Quoting tansyflower:

please join the group "birth is normal" they are GREAT and have a ton of info of selfcare and unassisted births :)



Mrs.Salz
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:51 PM

UC can be a great option for some women if you and your DH are willing to take the necessary time to prepare yourself.

Otherwise maybe hiring a doula, having a solid birth plan, and laboring at home before a hospital birth would be a better option.

Do you live near a state border or have family in another state? Sometimes women will travel to another midwife, deliver at a friend's house or hotel room, etc.

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