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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

having a medwife?

Posted by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:12 PM
  • 20 Replies
Our last homebirth I reallt liked my midwife's view on birth. She was really relaxed and believed in a womans ability to birth. For the actual birth she brought an assistant that was getting hwr midwifery license in this state and had it in another country. She was very knowledgable but way too hands on for us and she ended up pretty much taking over the birth. Now Dh already said he didnt care for how she handled the borth (checked for dialation way too often) and i didnt either...plus communications was lacking. Other than that she was really a sweetheart...so I liked her as a person...just not a midwife. So our options are very limited due to income and debt that has to be payed off. i dont want to cause us to go in more debt and we were suppose to use our tax return to pay off more debt. So I think this midwife would be our safest option financially but neither of would choose her otherwise. So Im not sure if I should see what she could do....or if I should just hold off until I have checked out all the midwives and options. I know that hospital would be our very last resort.
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by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Lurion
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:15 PM

Doesn't hurt to interview other midwives, or you could just share your thoughts/concerns with this midwife? 

Precious333
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:19 PM
I have been talking to other ones....and many are willing to work with us....but so far its still more than we can do.


Quoting Lurion:

Doesn't hurt to interview other midwives, or you could just share your thoughts/concerns with this midwife? 


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Mrs.Salz
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 1:52 PM

Since you've worked with her before, maybe you could discuss your last birth, tell her what you want done differently this time, and see what kind of reaction you receive.

And definitely check out other options too.

Precious333
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:14 PM
thats true! I just text her...she said she will call me back. Another thing was thinking is maybe we wont call until Im in active labor or transition. Last time she came during early labor....and I think having too much commotion slowed down my labor.


Quoting Mrs.Salz:

Since you've worked with her before, maybe you could discuss your last birth, tell her what you want done differently this time, and see what kind of reaction you receive.

And definitely check out other options too.


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kitchen.sink
by Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:23 PM

This. I would let her know that if the same assistant attends your next birth that you don't want her playing any role other than assisting your midwife. Ask her if she has any other assistants that she uses that you could meet before your birth. Be very clear on what your expectations are and what upset you about your last birth. Honesty and openness is so important in getting the birth you desire! 

Quoting Mrs.Salz:

Since you've worked with her before, maybe you could discuss your last birth, tell her what you want done differently this time, and see what kind of reaction you receive.

And definitely check out other options too.


Precious333
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:42 PM

the midwife I used is no longer practicing midwifery, its the assistant that I may use as my midwife, even though I was not happy about how she handled the birth. I am hesistant to have her, but it seems like she may be our only chance for a homebirth.

Quoting kitchen.sink:

This. I would let her know that if the same assistant attends your next birth that you don't want her playing any role other than assisting your midwife. Ask her if she has any other assistants that she uses that you could meet before your birth. Be very clear on what your expectations are and what upset you about your last birth. Honesty and openness is so important in getting the birth you desire! 

Quoting Mrs.Salz:

Since you've worked with her before, maybe you could discuss your last birth, tell her what you want done differently this time, and see what kind of reaction you receive.

And definitely check out other options too.

 


juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:52 PM

Will she go by a birthplan that included less hands on? theres a chance she was going by what she normally does but if you asked for her to be more hands off she would be

Precious333
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 2:57 PM


Quoting tabi_cat1023:

Will she go by a birthplan that included less hands on? theres a chance she was going by what she normally does but if you asked for her to be more hands off she would be

yeah, in this case i would probably have ot make a clear cut birthplan. I never had to with the other midwives because we were on the same page and our communication was good, but for her I think we would need to do that. I really hope we get to have a homebirth! DH is getting a vasectomy, so this will be our last baby :(

juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
tansyflower
by on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:04 PM
1 mom liked this

i LOVED my midwife but she was too hands on the first time around.  i talked to her about it the second time around and she agreed to only check me when i requested and to otherwise leave me alone unless i asked for help. she was really nice about the whole thing and the next time went off without a hitch!

if you like her as a person then its okay to have an honest conversation with her and let her know what you want to do differently this time around :)

Precious333
by Gold Member on Dec. 31, 2012 at 3:05 PM


Quoting tansyflower:

i LOVED my midwife but she was too hands on the first time around.  i talked to her about it the second time around and she agreed to only check me when i requested and to otherwise leave me alone unless i asked for help. she was really nice about the whole thing and the next time went off without a hitch!

if you like her as a person then its okay to have an honest conversation with her and let her know what you want to do differently this time around :)

thank you, that makes me feel a lot better! :)

juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
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