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Help choosing a doula, I'm so stressed

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:56 PM
  • 8 Replies

I'm 14 weeks pregnant and have not chosen an OB/GYN/CNM, haven't registered with the hospital, haven't confirmed who is and isn't covered under insurance, and haven't chosen a doula. I know I've got time, but I also know I normally procrastinate until the last minute because of the stress involved. 

The stress of hiring a doula: ok, so I have found several doulas (certified or working towards certification) in my area that are currently available for my due month, and emailed them. Mostly they cost a bazillion dollars, and I can only afford $300, $400 tops. So first I'm asking who is affordable. So let's say I get 5 doulas responding they'll accept $400. Now what? Schedule a meet-and-greet with each of them? Include hubby each time so we don't have to ask for a second meet-and-greet? That sounds stressful! Then when I decide on one what do I say to the others? I picked someone else, thanks for agreeing to meet my price and all your time, but you're chopped liver. I mean, that's what it feels like I'll be saying. Help!

by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:56 PM
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Replies (1-8):
doulala
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2013 at 8:59 PM
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When you interview them be clear that you are interviewing with a couple others too.    So you are already letting them know that you might get a lower cost or a better-suited match...
And you don't have to involve your husband if you want the doula to support you.    He will get to know whomever you chose through the prenatal period.   ;-)

VintageWife
by on Jan. 8, 2013 at 11:26 PM

I don't know much about hiring a doula.

JWu
by Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 9:42 AM
1 mom liked this

I am a Pro Bono Doula and volunteer with a group. In our meetings we have discussed that it is common for a meet n greet. It is great if DH can be there since a doula assists mom and family as opposed to replacing dad. Just be up front. "Thank you for agreeing to a lower fee. I appreciate your time and want to let you know I am also doing meet n greets with a few other doulas. I will touch base with you in x weeks". Then make sure you personally respond to each doula. It is a very personal relationship working with a doula at one of the greatest moments of your life. Any doula worth being at your birth will understand that you need someone that you feel comfortable with during the most vulnerable times. Doulas expect that if things do not click for you or for them that you two will need to find another match.

OMGLasersPOWPOW
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this
I would suggest meeting with each of them, hubby included, and before the interview say something like "We are looking around, interviewing for doulas and was wondering if you would be able to meet ..." etc.
If you find it stressful going to several different places I know some will have a Skype interview with you!
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Mrs.Salz
by Platinum Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 11:28 AM

What doulala said. Interview them, let them know you're looking around at others too. A lot of women do that and a doula will know that not every woman who interviews will hire her.

If cost is prohibitive, keep in mind that many doulas accept payment plans, exchange of services, bartering, etc. Sometimes small adjustments in the family budget can help pay for it too.

Maybe you'd feel less stressed if you worked on one project at a time? I get easily overwhelmed when I feel like I have a huge "to do" list. *hugs*

Terpsichore
by Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 12:01 PM


Quoting OMGLasersPOWPOW:

If you find it stressful going to several different places I know some will have a Skype interview with you!

Oooh, Skype. I didn't think of that! 

Thank you ladies, this is a big help to me.

LucyHourglass
by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:10 PM

where do you live? i know of a greattttt doula in so cal.

AimeeE
by Member on Jan. 9, 2013 at 1:33 PM

Everyone has great advice! I would I also like to add that Doulas that are working towards certification Should be charging ALOT less.....unless they have TONS of experience. Some doulas working towards certification may also be very willing to charge less in exchange for a written testamony from you that she may use on her website.

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