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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Do you think there is a "perfect" age difference between kids?

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:25 AM
  • 26 Replies

My parents waited 4 years between me and my siblings and we get along pretty well so i guess this has influenced me to want to wait and enjoy my DD but the hubby wants to have another in just a couple of years.

What have you guys experianced or observed??

CafeMom Tickers
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LADYxGHOST
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:26 AM
1 mom liked this

2 years ifit is brther and sister, 3 is sme gender so aim for 2.5

Mommy2Phenley
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 4:32 AM
There's 4 between my girls. I'm wishing we'd had one at the two year mark.
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JoJoBean8
by Group Mod on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:34 AM

My kids are 3 1/2 yrs apart and I love the gap. 

illegallyblonde
by Stephany on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:38 AM
For me, 2-3 years. My sisters and I are all 2 years apart. We are all very close, could wear each others clothes, had same friends, etc.
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larissalarie
by Gold Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:36 AM
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My personal observations are that the 4 year age gap is the absolute worst. I had too many friends with 3/4 year age gaps with their siblings that just couldn't understand each other.I think it's far enough apart that you're always going to be in completely different phases while growing up, yet close enough together that there's an expectation of closeness.

All that said though, I think the biggest predictor of sibling harmony or rivalry is parental expectations, so if you think it's perfect & great, then it will be!
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MaryJarrett
by Silver Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:41 AM
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"All that said though, I think the biggest predictor of sibling harmony rivalry is parental expectations, do if you think it's perfect & great, then it will be!"

This exactly! It is what you make it. My girls are 19 months apart. I love it. But we decided to wait until Caidence was closer to three before TTC again, and that's going to be perfect too. :)


Quoting larissalarie:

My personal observations are that the 4 year age gap is the absolute worst. I had too many friends with 3/4 year age gaps with their siblings that just couldn't understand each other.I think it's far enough apart that you're always going to be in completely different phases while growing up, yet close enough together that there's an expectation of closeness.

All that said though, I think the biggest predictor of sibling harmony or rivalry is parental expectations, do if you think it's perfect & great, then it will be!
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bloomsr
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:50 AM
My kids are 2 yrs and 3 mos between ds1 and dd and 23 months between dd and ds2. It's perfect!!
Mrs.Salz
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:00 AM

I think it depends so much on the family.

My sister and I were only 17 months apart and I find it a lot easier to relate to her than to my brother who is 4 years younger.

imtheonlysane1
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:51 AM

My kids are 13 -12 - 6- and 6 months. The 13 and 12 year old have NEVER gotten along! They are 1 month shy of being 2 years apart and from day 1 it was conflict. My oldest swore the baby took his mommy away because they were so very very different. Before Caleb (12 y/o) was born Nathan (13 y/o) and I would rock for long periods of time and read books and such. Caleb HATED to be read to and he hated to be rocked. For Nathan it ruined his favorite thing. Once Caleb got a little older and getting around he tore apart all of Nathans books ..... which was Nathans favorite items.

I had a hard time with them when they were around 4 or 5 , they fought every minute of the day. I am not talking about arguments, I am talking pushing,throwing things,hitting, it was awful! Now they can tolerate each other a little better and they know not to fight. I know that if it came right down to it they would defend each other no matter what. I hope someday they will be close, don't see it happening though.


jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 1:37 PM
My bro is four years older than me, my sis four years younger. We all HATED each other growing up.

Isis and Hera are four years apart and I'm really hoping that doesn't happen. So far it's fantastic, they're close enough that Isis wants to help and play with the baby and talks about teaching her things, and they're far apart enough that there are no jealousies, resentment; or regression with Isis. She loves baby sister and she loves helping out.
I'm trying to instill now that they are friends, and often refer to them as best friends.
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