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raising money for a midwife? edit....

Posted by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:03 PM
  • 62 Replies

We are expecting number 4, got rid of most baby stuff, but i dont need much, plus i get lots of hand me downs anyways so i wasnt going to plan a baby shower.

Now, i really dont have peace about a hospital birth, dh is not comfortable with a uc, and i really want to stay home. So i was thinking of maybe doing a fundraiser party or something to make money for a midwife. What do you think? Anyone try something like this before?

ok, just to add: I was thinking of maybe having it as a gender reveal party, and just adding a gift basket we could raffle to help pay for a midwife. Would that be less tacky?

Also, want to do yard sales etc.

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by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:03 PM
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kitchen.sink
by Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:21 PM

i don't know if i'd have a party... maybe if loved ones ask what you need for the baby you could let them know that you don't need anything, but help towards paying for the birth would be appreciated. most midwives offer a discount if you're paying for it yourself. have you talked to her about that or if she has a sliding scale for families that are struggling financially? some midwives barter, too, so that would be something to ask or consider.

Precious333
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Im still waiting for a call back. She wants t work with us, and hopefully our insuranxe will pay a portion.....but most midwifes in tge area require a full amount upfront......that would take a miracle for us!


Quoting kitchen.sink:

i don't know if i'd have a party... maybe if loved ones ask what you need for the baby you could let them know that you don't need anything, but help towards paying for the birth would be appreciated. most midwives offer a discount if you're paying for it yourself. have you talked to her about that or if she has a sliding scale for families that are struggling financially? some midwives barter, too, so that would be something to ask or consider.


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madisonsmom2005
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 1:56 PM

Personally I would not have a party. In my opinion, it is not the best etiquette. It is almost tax time. Why don't you use your tax return instead? That is what DH and I are doing for our midwife. Of course some couples have to pay in instead, but it is just a suggestion. If that isn't an option, why not set money aside every week to save up for it?

~Jen~ Group Owner of Bringing Birth Home.    http://www.cafemom.com/group/116103                                                                                                              I am a home birthing, breastfeeding, midwife using, cloth diapering, delayed cord cutting, natural birthing type of mama!


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Precious333
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:02 PM

 


Quoting madisonsmom2005:

Personally I would not have a party. In my opinion, it is not the best etiquette. It is almost tax time. Why don't you use your tax return instead? That is what DH and I are doing for our midwife. Of course some couples have to pay in instead, but it is just a suggestion. If that isn't an option, why not set money aside every week to save up for it?

I wish it was as simple as that :( I do plan on using money from taxes for it, however it will not cover it. Also, we have medical bills we have not been able to pay and need to use tax money to do so, and we have been using pay check advance weekly just do that we won't overdraft our account, basically we are over our heads in debt.  WE need to save some money from tazes for an emergancy fund, especially for the summer when I don't work, so that we wont have to keep relying on paycheck advance (which they wil only allow a few more times of anyways). Another thing is taht my DH just got into a motorcycle accident, so we have to see what medical bills we will hav to pay for that (just incase the other people's insurance won't pay for it). So, depending on how much we get back will determine how much we can spend on a midwife.  Also, I was going to do yard sales etc. and I'm hoping I will get some more photography clients soon as well.....so far i have only had a few this year, and I way undercharged!!! Anyways, I'm just thinking of all possible ways to pay a midwife.

 

juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
tansyflower
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 2:31 PM

i bartered with my midwife and my mom loaned me money.  i also got rid of our health insurance and put the money we spent every month on our premium towards our midwife fee.

i dont know if you have any family members who could help you out but its worth a shot to ask!

Quoting Precious333:



Quoting madisonsmom2005:

Personally I would not have a party. In my opinion, it is not the best etiquette. It is almost tax time. Why don't you use your tax return instead? That is what DH and I are doing for our midwife. Of course some couples have to pay in instead, but it is just a suggestion. If that isn't an option, why not set money aside every week to save up for it?

I wish it was as simple as that :( I do plan on using money from taxes for it, however it will not cover it. Also, we have medical bills we have not been able to pay and need to use tax money to do so, and we have been using pay check advance weekly just do that we won't overdraft our account, basically we are over our heads in debt.  WE need to save some money from tazes for an emergancy fund, especially for the summer when I don't work, so that we wont have to keep relying on paycheck advance (which they wil only allow a few more times of anyways). Another thing is taht my DH just got into a motorcycle accident, so we have to see what medical bills we will hav to pay for that (just incase the other people's insurance won't pay for it). So, depending on how much we get back will determine how much we can spend on a midwife.  Also, I was going to do yard sales etc. and I'm hoping I will get some more photography clients soon as well.....so far i have only had a few this year, and I way undercharged!!! Anyways, I'm just thinking of all possible ways to pay a midwife.



larissalarie
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:11 PM
It's still tacky. No matter how your cut it, setting up a fundraiser for yourself crosses even the microscopic boundaries of decorum left in society today.

I think anybody having a kid could use some extra money, hell we sure could. You don't set up an opportunity to ask. If people want to help you financially, they'll let ya know.
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Precious333
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:18 PM

well if you saw the edit, it wouldn't be a fundraiser party, it would be a gender revealing party, with a raffle to help raise money, and its not just for me, its for my baby as well, even for the kids so they have access to me as well. Also, I have done fundraisers before to help for a school trip for myself, another fundraiser to help pay for a show chior I was in when I was in hs, a fundraiser to help pay for the facility my children meet for school (private).....so many things that I would directly had to have payed for out of my own pocket.  I really dont' see the difference.  In addition, like I mentioned before, a friend of my wanted newborn pictures for her baby that she coud;n't afford, so she asked her friends to go in on a gift so she could have those newborn pictures.....no one was offended of felt social boundaries were crossed.


Quoting larissalarie:

It's still tacky.no matter how your cut it, setting up a fundraiser for yourself crosses even the microscopic boundaries of decorum left in society today.


 

juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
larissalarie
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:28 PM
1 mom liked this
Well it sounds like you've made up your mind that it's perfectly acceptable, so I'm not sure why you're asking. And yes, I do know how to read.
"Gender Reveal" party or not, you're talking about raising funds to finance a midwife. You have insurance that will cover medical care it sounds like, just not what you want.

All that other stuff you mention is seriously tacky as well, you're right there's no difference. (and knowing a person like this IRL, I can assure you the honestly I'm giving because of anonymity reflects the only sentiments I've heard uttered by absolutely anyone aware of the situation, even if we all had to decent of manners not to tell the person to their face)


Quoting Precious333:

well if you saw the edit, it wouldn't be a fundraiser party, it would be a gender revealing party, with a raffle to help raise money, and its not just for me, its for my baby as well, even for the kids so they have access to me as well. Also, I have done fundraisers before to help for a school trip for myself, another fundraiser to help pay for a show chior I was in when I was in hs, a fundraiser to help pay for the facility my children meet for school (private).....so many things that I would directly had to have payed for out of my own pocket.  I really dont' see the difference.  In addition, like I mentioned before, a friend of my wanted newborn pictures for her baby that she coud;n't afford, so she asked her friends to go in on a gift so she could have those newborn pictures.....no one was offended of felt social boundaries were crossed.




Quoting larissalarie:

It's still tacky.no matter how your cut it, setting up a fundraiser for yourself crosses even the microscopic boundaries of decorum left in society today.



 

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YzmaRocks
by on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:29 PM
1 mom liked this
We are in the same boat. Insurance won't cover an OOHB and our son has such high medical bills that we can't pay out of pocket like we have in the past. Thankfully, I found an awesome doctor! He is actually married to my midwife who delivered my others out of the hospital, lol. Very natural, go with the flow, let me do a lot of my own things in pregnancy type doc so I feel comfortable having him deliver our baby in the hospital setting.

I do think a party could be tacky. I really don't have a solution though...I wish I did!
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Precious333
by Gold Member on Jan. 24, 2013 at 3:37 PM

 

I'm brainstorming on how to make this work out. Like I said, I have no peace about going back to the hospital. Hospitals here are reallty not naturally minded at all, none have midwives, I had a hospital birth that was very traumatic, and Ihave been to several hospital births as well from moms who wanted a natural birth.  I thought atfirst I would be fine with just coming in pushing, but I don't have peace about it now, so I'm trying hard to think of ways to stay home. I would feel comfortable with a UC, but I don't think its fair to DH to do that when he is not comfortable either.

I probably wont' do that gender revealing party, actually, just something that crossed my mind.  It seems like I may actually end up spending the money I dont' have for a party, and maybe break even.

Quoting larissalarie:

Well it sounds like you've made up your mind that it's perfectly acceptable, so I'm not sure why you're asking. And yes, I do know how to read.
"Gender Reveal" party or not, you're talking about raising funds to finance a midwife. You have insurance that will cover medical care it sounds like, just not what you want.

All that other stuff you mention is seriously tacky as well, you're right there's no difference. (and knowing a person like this IRL, I can assure you the honestly I'm giving because of anonymity reflects the only sentiments I've heard uttered by absolutely anyone aware of the situation, even if we all had to decent of manners not to tell the person to their face)


Quoting Precious333:

well if you saw the edit, it wouldn't be a fundraiser party, it would be a gender revealing party, with a raffle to help raise money, and its not just for me, its for my baby as well, even for the kids so they have access to me as well. Also, I have done fundraisers before to help for a school trip for myself, another fundraiser to help pay for a show chior I was in when I was in hs, a fundraiser to help pay for the facility my children meet for school (private).....so many things that I would directly had to have payed for out of my own pocket.  I really dont' see the difference.  In addition, like I mentioned before, a friend of my wanted newborn pictures for her baby that she coud;n't afford, so she asked her friends to go in on a gift so she could have those newborn pictures.....no one was offended of felt social boundaries were crossed.


 


Quoting larissalarie:

It's still tacky.no matter how your cut it, setting up a fundraiser for yourself crosses even the microscopic boundaries of decorum left in society today.

 


 


 

juliakf333. Get yours at bighugelabs.com
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