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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

What would you do (pregnancy/birth)? (kinda long)

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A little back story... I am 15 wks with baby #4.  I've had 3 previous hospital births, two with CNM's, and one completely natural, unmedicated birth.  I am planning another natural birth with this baby.  I have never had any pregnancy/birth complications. 

We are living in a new area now, and there are NO midwives anywhere within 2 hrs, so I am stuck with an OB... and OB that I am not very fond of, to make it worse.  This is not my 1st rodeo, and I'm frustrated by the appts.  Feeling like they are a complete waste of time and money, since I already know what to expect, and the dr spends maybe 5 min per appt with me (last one was 2 min tops... no joke).  On top of that, my insurance is only covering a tiny portion, which will put me around $3200 out of pocket for the prenatal care + delivery/hospital stay. 

I have been seriously considering doing the rest of my pregnancy unassisted and monitoring myself at home.  I will be going for my 20 wk anatomy/gender scan, but thinking of calling it quits after that.  I still plan on doing a hospital birth because my husband really isn't on board with an unassisted homebirth and I'm GBS+. 

Does this seem crazy, or a reasonable thing to do given my situation.  I'd love to just go completely unassisted, but not sure I have it in me.  I like having that extra support/reassurance at the very end. 

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 11:50 AM
Replies (21-30):
catholicmamamia
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 12:50 AM

Were it me.. I would choose a birth professional I am compatible with and respected.


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BaileysMom9
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:18 AM

We live in an area where it is extremely hard to retain good... well any, providers at the dr offices/hospital.  We are very limited with our providers.  Outside of a male OB (which I will not do) I have three options in the office I'm with now.  I will be changing primary's with my next appt, however because it is a shared practice I could end up with any of the dr's there at the time of delivery.  It's a hard situation to explain... kinda have to understand our area (we're in western ND where the oil boom has taken hold, and there is NO housing.  They cannot draw in and keep dr's/nurses/midwives, etc..)

Quoting catholicmamamia:

Were it me.. I would choose a birth professional I am compatible with and respected.



BaileysMom9
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:22 AM

In an ideal world, I would do a UC.  But my husband is not very comfortable with the idea, and I will not pressure him into that kind of committment.  He would be much more comfortable in a hospital setting where there is back up if needed. 

Don't have family anywhere within 900 miles of here, and there isn't even a homebirth midwife within a practical distance.  The midwife I found only does hospital deliveries.  I cannot make a two hr drive while in labor.  My last labor was very short.  We only had a 40 minute drive and made it with 45 min to spare before baby was in my arms.  I can't/won't do that again... especially not with a drive more than twice that distance :(  I truly wish there were more options. 

Quoting Mrs.Salz:

It sounds reasonable to me, but that's just what I personally am comfortable with. I'll be having a UC about a month from now and have been doing my own prenatal care since 28 weeks.

Lots of info about how to change GBS status if you do a group search :)

Would having a doula for support at a UC help? Maybe you could live with a relative for a few weeks around your due date and have an attended homebirth elsewhere? Or have a birth with the midwife a few hours away either at a hotel or her home? Just throwing out some other ideas that might be options.



BaileysMom9
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 9:26 AM

I know my previous pregnancy doesn't determine whether I'll be GBS+ at the time of delivery of THIS pregnancy.  I was tested + in a urine culture with this pregnancy, so I was told I had to do antibiotics.  I didn't even think about it at the time.  I didn't realize (was never told) that the test results are only valid for 5 wks.  *IF* I do have the swab test done at the end of the pregnancy and it comes back pos. again I will decline antibiotics (again, didn't realize I could until another lady mentioned it) because I don't want them in my body or my baby's body.

Quoting littlelambe2:


Bacteria levels change constantly and there are ways to control and manage it. As I stated before, the new guidelines are that GBS test results expire after 5 weeks. Just because you were positive with your last pregnancy, doesn't mean you'll be positive upon delivery with this one. Levels can be dropped with garlic and probiotics. Just wanted to make you aware. You should still retest around 36-38 weeks. 

Quoting BaileysMom9:

Well, I was GBS+ w/my last pregnancy as well.  This one they found it in my urine early on.  I am not one for antibiotics, and with my last I showed up to the hospital so late they only had time for half a bag of antibiotics, which was a plus.  I'd rather not have them at all, but not sure the hospital will even "allow" that. 

As for switching OB's... there is one other office in town, but all male providers and I do not want a male OB.  And regardless, I still feel like the appts are a waste of time.  And no, I would not do a UC if either of us were not completely and 100% on board and dedicated to it. 

Quoting littlelambe2:

GBS test result expire after 5 weeks, so how do you know you'll be GBS positive on delivery? 20w scan is not necessary unless you're at risk for certain things. Can you change OBs? How about a family doc? Your choice in health care provider is very important. I wouldn't do an unassisted home birth unless both you and your husband are on board. 







charity987
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:16 AM

That is such a tough decision. Where I live, I do have the option of a homebirth midwife, but I wasn't 100% sold on her. All 3 of my older kids, I delivered at hospitals that were an hour away. It wasn't a big deal with the 1st 2 because I was induced. But with my last 1, that drive while being in labor was TERRIBLE. Because of an infection that needed to be treated, I ended up seeing an OB that is close to home at a hospital that I am not fond of at all. They are super quick to run to the OR (they are a bunch of cut-happy doctors). I have continued seeing her for prenatal appointments. I've been through a whole process of decision making while trying to decide what was best. Originally, the plan was to wait as long as possible & show up at the hospital ready to push. Then I started studying, so that we could be prepared just in case we didn't make it to the hospital on time. During that time of researching, I did a lot of soul searching & have decided that a UC is the right choice for me. My DH still isn't 100% on board with it, but he sees that my mind is made up & he's coming around. We talk about the "what ifs." We have both signed up to take a CPR class, so that he'll feel a bit more prepared in case of an emergency. He watched part of "Pregnant in America" with me the other night & I think it opened his eyes a lot. I just keep feeding him a slow, steady diet of information and by the time the baby comes, he'll be fine. (I know this is how my DH works, so it's the best way to handle him.) Sometimes knowing WHY someone is opposed to it, helps to know how to help them understand it. For us, it was a fear of what we didn't know. As I've read & asked questions, the fears have melted away. And now DH's only objection is "Eww. That's messy & gross."

I hope that you can come to a decision that you are comfortable with. It is sad that all options are not available to all women in all areas. :(

BaileysMom9
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:26 AM

That's very similar to my situation (well hubby's at least).  I am concerned about how I will handle the very end of my labor at home when it gets really intense.  My husband would rather not deal with any of the mess/blood/birth stuff and I know he fears the "what if's" and he was just raised differently.  My mom had my brother and I in a tiny cabin in the mountains with a midwife.  To me, being at home for the birth doesn't seem crazy, but his mom is a nurse, and has always been more "medically minded" having hospital births and believing that is the safest place for birth.  She was freaked out the last two times that I had a CNM who delivered IN the hospital.  She just didn't think a midwife was qualified enough to handle these things.  COME ON! 

Anyway, I will keep talking to my hubby about it, and praying about what to do.  I need him to be 100% on board for me to feel this is the right decision for us.  But yes, I keep having that nagging feeling of just wanting to stay home and do this myself.  I think it would be a wonderful/beautiful experience for my last baby.  So who knows...


Quoting charity987:

That is such a tough decision. Where I live, I do have the option of a homebirth midwife, but I wasn't 100% sold on her. All 3 of my older kids, I delivered at hospitals that were an hour away. It wasn't a big deal with the 1st 2 because I was induced. But with my last 1, that drive while being in labor was TERRIBLE. Because of an infection that needed to be treated, I ended up seeing an OB that is close to home at a hospital that I am not fond of at all. They are super quick to run to the OR (they are a bunch of cut-happy doctors). I have continued seeing her for prenatal appointments. I've been through a whole process of decision making while trying to decide what was best. Originally, the plan was to wait as long as possible & show up at the hospital ready to push. Then I started studying, so that we could be prepared just in case we didn't make it to the hospital on time. During that time of researching, I did a lot of soul searching & have decided that a UC is the right choice for me. My DH still isn't 100% on board with it, but he sees that my mind is made up & he's coming around. We talk about the "what ifs." We have both signed up to take a CPR class, so that he'll feel a bit more prepared in case of an emergency. He watched part of "Pregnant in America" with me the other night & I think it opened his eyes a lot. I just keep feeding him a slow, steady diet of information and by the time the baby comes, he'll be fine. (I know this is how my DH works, so it's the best way to handle him.) Sometimes knowing WHY someone is opposed to it, helps to know how to help them understand it. For us, it was a fear of what we didn't know. As I've read & asked questions, the fears have melted away. And now DH's only objection is "Eww. That's messy & gross."

I hope that you can come to a decision that you are comfortable with. It is sad that all options are not available to all women in all areas. :(



charity987
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:42 AM

Wow! Our situations do sound really similar. My husband comes from a family where medicine is almighty & doctors are close to gods. It's really sad to me. My MIL gives us a constant hard time about our natural parenting choices (especially not vaxing). This choice to UC is NOT public knowledge. In fact, the only ones who know are my Mom & 3 friends who are super supportive of it. I can't even tell my own sister! I want NO negative input about this decision that I feel that God has led us to.

Quoting BaileysMom9:

That's very similar to my situation (well hubby's at least).  I am concerned about how I will handle the very end of my labor at home when it gets really intense.  My husband would rather not deal with any of the mess/blood/birth stuff and I know he fears the "what if's" and he was just raised differently.  My mom had my brother and I in a tiny cabin in the mountains with a midwife.  To me, being at home for the birth doesn't seem crazy, but his mom is a nurse, and has always been more "medically minded" having hospital births and believing that is the safest place for birth.  She was freaked out the last two times that I had a CNM who delivered IN the hospital.  She just didn't think a midwife was qualified enough to handle these things.  COME ON! 

Anyway, I will keep talking to my hubby about it, and praying about what to do.  I need him to be 100% on board for me to feel this is the right decision for us.  But yes, I keep having that nagging feeling of just wanting to stay home and do this myself.  I think it would be a wonderful/beautiful experience for my last baby.  So who knows...


Quoting charity987:

That is such a tough decision. Where I live, I do have the option of a homebirth midwife, but I wasn't 100% sold on her. All 3 of my older kids, I delivered at hospitals that were an hour away. It wasn't a big deal with the 1st 2 because I was induced. But with my last 1, that drive while being in labor was TERRIBLE. Because of an infection that needed to be treated, I ended up seeing an OB that is close to home at a hospital that I am not fond of at all. They are super quick to run to the OR (they are a bunch of cut-happy doctors). I have continued seeing her for prenatal appointments. I've been through a whole process of decision making while trying to decide what was best. Originally, the plan was to wait as long as possible & show up at the hospital ready to push. Then I started studying, so that we could be prepared just in case we didn't make it to the hospital on time. During that time of researching, I did a lot of soul searching & have decided that a UC is the right choice for me. My DH still isn't 100% on board with it, but he sees that my mind is made up & he's coming around. We talk about the "what ifs." We have both signed up to take a CPR class, so that he'll feel a bit more prepared in case of an emergency. He watched part of "Pregnant in America" with me the other night & I think it opened his eyes a lot. I just keep feeding him a slow, steady diet of information and by the time the baby comes, he'll be fine. (I know this is how my DH works, so it's the best way to handle him.) Sometimes knowing WHY someone is opposed to it, helps to know how to help them understand it. For us, it was a fear of what we didn't know. As I've read & asked questions, the fears have melted away. And now DH's only objection is "Eww. That's messy & gross."

I hope that you can come to a decision that you are comfortable with. It is sad that all options are not available to all women in all areas. :(




GoodyBrook
by Silver Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:39 PM

 


Quoting BaileysMom9:

We live in an area where it is extremely hard to retain good... well any, providers at the dr offices/hospital.  We are very limited with our providers.  Outside of a male OB (which I will not do) I have three options in the office I'm with now.  I will be changing primary's with my next appt, however because it is a shared practice I could end up with any of the dr's there at the time of delivery.  It's a hard situation to explain... kinda have to understand our area (we're in western ND where the oil boom has taken hold, and there is NO housing.  They cannot draw in and keep dr's/nurses/midwives, etc..)

The Bakken!  I understand your situation...  It's the wild west out there right now, isn't it! 

I'm in western MT, and we have a 70 mile drive to any of three towns that actually deliver:  Bozeman, Butte, and Dillon.  Unfortunately none of the rural clinics deliver babies anymore due to the high malpractice / insurance premiums associated with doing so...  :(

Our thought with this last pregnancy was to head to Bozeman and rent a room until the baby came...  Would such a thing work for you?  Or depending on your location, is there a reservation clinic that handles births near you?  In Central MT we have a few colonies who birth their babies at home...what about contacting your local Amish/Mennonite and asking their women a few questions about their local midwives?

How far from the MT border are you?

N_maricle
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Yep! I was HBS+ with ds1, but not Ds2. Instead of a midwife, OP could look into findIng a naturopathic doctor to attend the birth as well.


Quoting littlelambe2:

GBS test result expire after 5 weeks, so how do you know you'll be GBS positive on delivery? 20w scan is not necessary unless you're at risk for certain things. Can you change OBs? How about a family doc? Your choice in health care provider is very important. I wouldn't do an unassisted home birth unless both you and your husband are on board. 


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N_maricle
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:44 PM
Yep! I was HBS+ with ds1, but not Ds2. Instead of a midwife, OP could look into findIng a naturopathic doctor to attend the birth as well.


Quoting littlelambe2:

GBS test result expire after 5 weeks, so how do you know you'll be GBS positive on delivery? 20w scan is not necessary unless you're at risk for certain things. Can you change OBs? How about a family doc? Your choice in health care provider is very important. I wouldn't do an unassisted home birth unless both you and your husband are on board. 


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