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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Yikes....Need some advice

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:09 PM
  • 9 Replies

My son, Nash, is 7. Over the last few days he's been acting up. Not listening when Chris or I give him direction, throwing a fit when we tell him no, and last night he had a tantrum when it was time to go to bed. I know he's a kid and they like to test their limits sometimes, but he seemed to kick it up a notch after our appointment with the midwife yesterday. I'm worried he starting to show signs of jealousy towards the new baby. We're taking him to a hockey game tonight and doing whatever he wants to do tomorrow. I'm hoping that will help. Any input or advice from the other moms in here?

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:09 PM
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Replies (1-9):
somuchlove4U
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Sorry. I wish I had advice. I'm wanting to follow this post. I'm concerned my daughter might be getting a little jealous.
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vannahmarie
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:16 PM

We'll see what happens. I feel like since I'm not due until August that I'll have some time to address it before it gets worse.

melindabelcher
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:39 PM

Have you talked to him about his feelings regarding the new baby?

Have him help you troubleshoot some general potential problems and possible resolutions to those.

Help him define his current role and his and your expectations of his role after baby.

vannahmarie
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Hope I don't sound like a bad mommy, but we told him about the baby and he was so over the top excited I naively thought things were okay. I was wrong. I'll need some one-on-one time with him for sure.


Quoting melindabelcher:


Have you talked to him about his feelings regarding the new baby?

Have him help you troubleshoot some general potential problems and possible resolutions to those.

Help him define his current role and his and your expectations of his role after baby.



mommathea
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:37 PM

It might not be jealousy. It could be fear. Fear of what will happen with him once the new baby comes. Will he be second, not important, that kind of stuff. Fear of the unknown can make little ones lash out. 


chiarore
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:51 PM
Take this with a grain of salt because our son was younger when his sister was born, but they have a great relationship still. We prepared him in all the "normal" ways, reading books about babies together, talking about how things would be after the baby was born. But the most important thing we did was to always refer to her as "our baby", not mommy and daddy's, but his too. He still talks about how mama and daddy made sister for him, and he has to help take good care of her.
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IansMommy2012
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:53 PM
Sounds like jealousy. Could you help him by maybe letting him help decorate the nursery? Or picking cloths or stuff like that? Help him feel more involved. It will help :)
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Magnolia7
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:32 PM

My son will be six in a couple of months and I'm seeing those thoughts pop up, too.  He seems to cry a bit easier sometimes and I think that he wants that cuddle/consoling time that he seemed to have grown out of.  When he started putting together that the baby was going to sleep in our room he began begging to sleep in our bed almost every night .... or he'd climb in after waking to use the bathroom. 

There was a class at the local hospital that offered big brothers and sisters a chance to learn about newborns and talk about their feelings.  They showed a video that touched on the jealousy issue and explained that different kids need different things but mom and dad love them all.  They talked about how to have time with mom when the new baby comes - bring her some water, "help" her with diaper changes, go on walks together, sit down and cuddle when mom is nursing, etc. 

So we talked about that later and talked about what he'd like to do when his brother is here.  He decided he'd like to read stories together when I nurse the baby, but that he does not want to be involved with stinky diapers. :) 

While I'm trying to do special things with him, I'm also trying to be really consistent with rules.  He needs to pick his things up, he needs to use manners, he needs to get ready for bed when he's told, etc.  I want to really get him used to this because after the baby I'll need him to do these things. 

I think that jealousy is going to happen no matter what we do to prevent.  I expect a bit of regression even.  Patience and consistency are going to be a big part of our lives ahead :)

thundersky
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:11 PM

i have told my dd (who is 4) that i will be needing lots of her help after the baby is born. like needing hlep with dipers, feeding, putting the baby to sleep, ect. that as a big sister she will have things that the baby need to learn from her. like how to play, how walk, how to stay out of trouble, ect. so being a big sister is a big job. she now talks aobut all the things she is going to do with the baby.

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