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Helping Nash

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:45 AM
  • 6 Replies

Just to bring everyone up to speed, my 7 year old, Nash, has been acting up the last few days....close to a week actually. I know he's 7 and kids will be kids, but it was getting to a point that I was getting concerned. I was able to talk to him over the weekend....some mommy and me time. I first tackled the subject of the baby. I might sound like a bad mom, but he was so happy when we first told him that I naively thought everything was good. I told Nash he was going to be a big brother and mommy's #1 helper. He perked up right away. I told him he'd be Chris and my partner in helping take care of the baby, play with him/her, share toys (I have a feeling that'll have to be worked on lol), and teach the baby things we can't. He also can't wait to help do the baby's room and buy things. That was the first part...next came behavior.

I actually took a page from my mother's book. She did this with me when I was a kid and it worked. Nash behaves better when he knows he's getting a reward. For instance, on Saturday we were going to the hockey game. I told him if he threw a fit at all during the day we weren't going, and if he misbehaved at the game, we were leaving early. He did a good job all day...again kids will be kids so he wasn't perfect. Chris and I decided to set up a reward system with Nash. With Nash's help we made a "Goal Chart" of things we would like him to work on. Things such as: picking up toys, table manners, following direction (he's in the habit of talking back), teeth brushing (he forgets), bringing home his lunchbox, going to bed....little things really. Nash will also help us decide how well he did on his goals. We also allowed him to list the rewards he'd like to pick from and he loved doing that. We're not sure how often the rewards are going to come. I'm thinking a weekly basis, but we'll see.

So that's it for now. Reading over this I wonder if I'm taking it to an extreme. I know just because it worked for my mom doesn't mean it'll work for me, but it can't hurt. I'll keep you ladies posted. Wish me luck. :-)

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:45 AM
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Replies (1-6):
sj3starz
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:09 PM
Good luck, it seems like an appropriate age to do goals weekly. I remember being that age and needing a chart for brushing teeth. I even had tablets to chew and spit to see where my "missed spots" were... It made me remember better because I liked changing the color of my teeth. Maybe there's a more natural way of doing that?

As for the "chores" maybe making a schedule, not saying you don't have one but to put it in poster/calendar form might be helpful?

Good luck, updates would be awesome too!
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vannahmarie
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:13 PM

We've started making a poster and hanging it in the kitchen. Right now I'm thinking stickers for the days he did a good job on each goal/chore and maybe an "X" on the days he needs to try a tad harder. I want this to be an encouraging activity for him.

GoodyBrook
by Silver Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting vannahmarie:

We've started making a poster and hanging it in the kitchen. Right now I'm thinking stickers for the days he did a good job on each goal/chore and maybe an "X" on the days he needs to try a tad harder. I want this to be an encouraging activity for him.


 At this point, I wouldn't put anything, even an "X" on his bad days.  Seems like you want him to concentrate on all of the fun stickers, so he'll want to keep up the good work.  Don't ruin his achievement poster with the "bad" marks...  :)

catholicmamamia
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:34 AM

Good Luck!

 

         

melindabelcher
by mel on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:27 AM
I agree.


We did a behavior chart and put stickers for completed tasks if he got X number of stickers he got a reward. (help with cooking dinner, playground, extra 15min at bedtime etc) we tried to keep the reward free or else it gets expensive really quick


Quoting GoodyBrook:

 




Quoting vannahmarie:


We've started making a poster and hanging it in the kitchen. Right now I'm thinking stickers for the days he did a good job on each goal/chore and maybe an "X" on the days he needs to try a tad harder. I want this to be an encouraging activity for him.




 At this point, I wouldn't put anything, even an "X" on his bad days.  Seems like you want him to concentrate on all of the fun stickers, so he'll want to keep up the good work.  Don't ruin his achievement poster with the "bad" marks...  :)


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melindabelcher
by mel on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:33 AM
I also think it's important to be honest with him. Babies aren't all fun/sunshine/happiness, they cry, they wake at night, they require alot of work and attention from the caregivers. Its important he anticipates the good and bad and has a pan for how both you/dad and him will cope etc
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