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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

How do people CIO?

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:23 PM
  • 37 Replies

I never really thought much about it - I didn't want to do it so I didn't think how I would feel about it...

Tonight I was working with a pork loin for dinner so I had raw pork all over my hands and my 4 week old DD was snoozing in her bassinet.  All of the sudden a boom went off (we live next to a military base so it happens) and startled her.  

She woke up screaming then settled to crying very hard.  I rushed to wash my hands to get her but damnit pork fat does not wash off easily.  By the time I got to her it had been maybe a little over 45 seconds? My boobs were spraying milk and I was bawling.  We were a serious mess. It's been three hours now and I still feel like garbage for not comforting her immediately.  Hearing her cry is horrible.  

How do people do it willingly?  I know I didn't do anything wrong, babies cry and sometimes we have to let them for a second until its safe for us to comfort but damn, that sucks.

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:23 PM
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Replies (1-10):
larissalarie
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:29 PM
3 moms liked this
Gosh, I don't do CIO, but I know all of my kids have had to cry for a minute or two (longer for my car screamer) here & there. I didn't like it, but I definitely didn't feel bad about it later, it is what it is.

As to how people do it purposely? They either have been told it's what's in everyone's best interest so the suffer through thinking they are doing something good ("it's harder on you than it is on them"), OR they are completely selfish and care more about themselves. IMO.
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TTC2Long
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:30 PM
8 moms liked this
I have NO idea. It goes against every mothering instinct I have.
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SadieJames
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:33 PM

I think I just feel bad because it's the first time kwim? The rational side of me knows its fine she cried for a second while I cleaned up but the new mom side of me just wants to meet every need every second, like I should just sit and hold her while I wither away from starvation lol.

Yup. 

Quoting larissalarie:

Gosh, I don't do CIO, but I know all of my kids have had to cry for a minute or two (longer for my car screamer) here & there. I didn't like it, but I definitely didn't feel bad about it later, it is what it is.

As to how people do it purposely? They either have been told it's what's in everyone's best interest so the suffer through thinking they are doing something good ("it's harder on you than it is on them"), OR they are completely selfish and care more about themselves. IMO.


piwife
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:34 PM
My sisters cio at like 3 wks... they are like super mainstrean. My youngest niece is 9 now. They make fun of me for how I am. And say that's the reason my kids are so needy because am their personal slave.. oh well
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larissalarie
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:36 PM
1 mom liked this
Haha, true she's 4 weeks not 4 months! And she was startled. You did great :-)

Quoting SadieJames:

I think I just feel bad because it's the first time kwim? The rational side of me knows its fine she cried for a second while I cleaned up but the new mom side of me just wants to meet every need every second, like I should just sit and hold her while I wither away from starvation lol.

Yup. 

Quoting larissalarie:

Gosh, I don't do CIO, but I know all of my kids have had to cry for a minute or two (longer for my car screamer) here & there. I didn't like it, but I definitely didn't feel bad about it later, it is what it is.



As to how people do it purposely? They either have been told it's what's in everyone's best interest so the suffer through thinking they are doing something good ("it's harder on you than it is on them"), OR they are completely selfish and care more about themselves. IMO.


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cemcnair
by Courtney on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:37 PM
1 mom liked this
This exactly.
Hard hearted.


Quoting TTC2Long:

I have NO idea. It goes against every mothering instinct I have.
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hapababies
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:02 PM
3 moms liked this
I don't know either. My dh convinced me to try it when our first son was 6 months old. I couldn't do it for more than 5 minutes. It turned out that he had a poopy diaper and I felt like the poop in the diaper. It was a horrible feeling.
Now when it comes to car rides, I just grit my teeth, turn up the radio and sing loudly if I know the song.
My second born had to cry more than my first did, but that was because I would normally be tending to my oldest at the same time. It was pretty stressfull.
The best advice I got from the mamas in here is "it isn't CIO when you are in the same room and you are trying to comfort to your best abilities".
She'll be ok; you're doing a great job :)
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Precious333
by Gold Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:08 PM
Breaks my heart :( i know a mom who wasnt going to, but was so sleep deprived and her dh insisted baby be in his own room. So sad :(
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moroccanmommy
by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:12 PM
No clue. If people knew about Ainsworth and bowbly attachment theroy , Eriksons trust vs mistrust . They would know parents who meet the needs of their children provide better outcomes than those who do not. Kids learn self regulation too!
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Amberleigh81
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:27 PM
I literally get heart palpitations when my infant cried... I totally understand. Even now, when my toddler cries the "real" cry, I panic until I can get to him and soothe him! ...Now the temper tantrum cry, not so much... :)
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