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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

To spank or not to spank?

Posted by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:56 AM
  • 53 Replies
I've decided that I don't want to spank my dd.
My Baby's daddy wants to..

We were both spanked as childeren and he thinks that the only way to get her to learn is by spanking, and I completely disagree. I am not okay with intentionally hitting your child under any circumstance. I feel like that breaks the trust I've tried so hard to establish...

Anyone have any links or information about the dangerous effects of spanking?
And other ways to get them to listen that work effectively?
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by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
AerickMomi_MrsD
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:58 AM
1 mom liked this

What ever works for the family..

notjstanothrmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:01 AM
I'd like links as well. We don't spanking but my partner wants to sometimes claiming it straightened him up as a child. True because he has a great loving and respectful relationship with his mom but I on the otherhand was abused and hate physical punishment unless its something SEVERE and even then I don't see how hitting a child is good.
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somuchlove4U
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:06 AM
I don't spank. I do my best to talk to my daughter without yelling. I've allowed her to express her feelings and when she does we talk about. I've also used time outs and clearing her room of all toys. Once I made her put her toys in garbage bags and put them in the trash can. I did that because she kept throwing her toys when she was mad. For a while the only things in her room was her bed and clothes. She's almost 12 and is a great kid. She listens very well and she will tell on herself.

Good luck. Hopefully he will be able to see your point of view.
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doulala
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 2:10 AM
1 mom liked this

No reason to do it when there are so many respectful & nonviolent alternatives--

Does he want to learn about them?

JoJoBean8
by Group Mod on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:39 AM
No but there is a quote that made me change my mind about spanking. I'll look it up after i drop dd off at school.
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piwife
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:35 AM
I spank, my dh spanks more often then me. I spank for lying or if I have done redirecting, warning , time out , time ins and still my dd or ds are acting up. My dh spanks for lying and other reasons. Usually I do lost of privelages. My husband told me you parent your way I parent my way. I did the 123 magic and dh was not for it at all so that went out the window. I prefer not to spank dh is all for it.
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MamaPrime
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:40 AM
2 moms liked this

I am an anti spanker. I feel that it is just the adult throwing a temper tantrum at a child throwing a temper tantrum and that only makes things worse. When even though I have never been one to spank, there were plenty of times where I would get frustrated by my son not going along with what "needed" to be done at that time. But it was only when I learned to spot when he was going to start resiting to try something different that things started to get better. He learns and listens well for a 20 month old with some respect, patience and practice.

Ichthus
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:51 AM

I don't have any links to give, but I will tell you my experience with spanking. I have 3; two boys and a girl. I said I wasn't going to spank with my first, but in my frustration as a new parent I started to spank. My first one responded by doing as he was told. When my second came along, we started spanking earlier and more often than with my first. He started becoming aggressive in response. My dh and I felt like we were losing control of the situations and of ourselves, so we decided to stop spanking all together. I regret spanking. Honestly, I wish we had never spanked. I feel like it created aggression issues with my middle ds. I find timeouts (we send them to their bedrooms) to be much more effective. Taking away favorite toys also is effective. Good luck

jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:57 AM
1 mom liked this
I think askdrsears.com has info.
And I bet you can check peacefulparenting.com

I don't have hard links because I was the one that needed convincing to not spank, and it didn't take much because I couldn't fathom hitting her after she was born or any time I look into her eyes.
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Sarah725
by Group Mod - Sarah on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:01 PM

 DH was the same way until he saw first hand that some children just don't need that type of discipline.

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