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Correcting a toddler

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:55 AM
  • 19 Replies
What are your most effective approaches to handling a fairly defiant and strong willed toddler?
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by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
larissalarie
by Gold Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:59 AM
3 moms liked this
Choose your battles VERY carefully and once you choose to make an issue of something, follow through no matter how long it takes.

In general, give tons of positive attention and praise for desired behavior.
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nicole2884
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Find the trigger of his tantrums an try removing them

Talk it out like you would with your so but with more details

Warn them more if he doesnt want his diapers changed tell you need to a minute before doing it an then again when you do it
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graycalico
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:06 PM
2 moms liked this
Distraction works great, and avoiding things that you know will set them off. I don't mean catering to them, but if you skip nap and give them too much sugar you can't be surprised if they act up, for example.
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taeray
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:21 PM
I do have a slight problem with speaking before I really think about whether it's worth it.

She does get TONS of praise and attention. So much praise that she praises herself for doing good things if I'm not even present to witness it. She's a snuggly child so I try to make sure she gets a lot of hugs and mommy time every day. Her worst days are days where I am busy with the kids I babysit for or we have a lot of errands to run.


Quoting larissalarie:

Choose your battles VERY carefully and once you choose to make an issue of something, follow through no matter how long it takes.



In general, give tons of positive attention and praise for desired behavior.
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melindabelcher
by mel on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:27 PM
2 moms liked this
Encourage positive behavior, we recently started a "i was caught being good" chart. They get a sticker with a little written explanation why they got the sticker. They love seeing their accomplishments. And they want to earn more and are very proud to show dh when he gets home.
As larissa said pick and chose your battles.
But if you chose to battle it go all the way and don't back down (except if you recognize you were wrong)
Try to give her as many opportunities for her to excel and assert her independence.
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taeray
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:38 PM
The trigger is usually frustration or exhaustion. She'll throw herself on the ground if I ask her to leave a room she shouldn't be in or cry if I tell her to apologize for hitting. She really doesn't throw that many fits. Her biggest problem is hitting and biting other kids when they frustrate her. I know she will eventually grow out of both but I can't not correct her. I usually remove her from the situation, emphasize no hitting and no biting, that we kisses and hugs but sometimes her frustration will come out of nowhere. She hit her cousin right on the head with a wooden block this morning because her cousin wasn't sharing.
When we do time out, afterwards when she's calmed down, we hold hands and I ask her why she was in time out. It's 50/50 that she'll answer me but she's getting better. And there are times when I'll see her go to hit, stop, and remind herself "no hitting". Recently its just starting to get worse.


Quoting nicole2884:

Find the trigger of his tantrums an try removing them



Talk it out like you would with your so but with more details



Warn them more if he doesnt want his diapers changed tell you need to a minute before doing it an then again when you do it
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
taeray
by Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:43 PM
We have a very set schedule and she maps almost every day at 11:30. Occasionally my nephew, who I babysit for, will wake her and those are some of our bad days.
She doesn't get juice or a lot of sugary snacks.

Her biggest problem is getting frustrated with other kids. Her older cousins are very pushy with her and sometimes mean and it's starting to bring out this more aggressive nature in her. I correct the older child but she's a toddler too. One minute they're playing nicely the next, one of them is on the other and they're hitting and biting.


Quoting graycalico:

Distraction works great, and avoiding things that you know will set them off. I don't mean catering to them, but if you skip nap and give them too much sugar you can't be surprised if they act up, for example.
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FebPenguins
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:58 PM
1 mom liked this

Help her recoginze her feelings and put words to those feelings.

I know you are very angry with John right now, instead of hitting we need to use our words. Next time you need to tell John that you are angry that he won't share. Then ask him nicely if he can share.

Also teach how to trade toys. If you want something John has, pick another toy and see if John will trade with you.

I hope that this helps.

TexanMomOf6
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this

If it's mainly the interaction between other toddlers/children help DD find a way to react without getting upset. For Instance.... you saw another child grab a toy DD was playing with and DD starts screaming. You get down at their eye level and say something like "DD tell your friend you were playing with that toy and you want it back PLEASE" Then look at the other child and hold your hand out. USUALLY the other child will hand it back. Then DD sees that she can get her way and the other child will learn it's not nice to grab toys. (optimally, anyways)  Of course you have to keep an eye out for it to happen again so DD learns to do it on her own and so you an catch her taking a toy so SHE can hand it back.  After interveining a few times, hang back a bit to allow them a chance to do it on their own. Sometimes all it takes is the Mom Eyebrow Raise to remind them to play nice.

nicole2884
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 1:59 PM
I have used the phrase

" it hurts. when you.... because it doesnt feel good to be... "



"You hurt. .... when you bite them because your teeth are Sharpe like a knife"





If it becomes a nightmare i have heard gently biting back from parent helps


Quoting taeray:

The trigger is usually frustration or exhaustion. She'll throw herself on the ground if I ask her to leave a room she shouldn't be in or cry if I tell her to apologize for hitting. She really doesn't throw that many fits. Her biggest problem is hitting and biting other kids when they frustrate her. I know she will eventually grow out of both but I can't not correct her. I usually remove her from the situation, emphasize no hitting and no biting, that we kisses and hugs but sometimes her frustration will come out of nowhere. She hit her cousin right on the head with a wooden block this morning because her cousin wasn't sharing.


When we do time out, afterwards when she's calmed down, we hold hands and I ask her why she was in time out. It's 50/50 that she'll answer me but she's getting better. And there are times when I'll see her go to hit, stop, and remind herself "no hitting". Recently its just starting to get worse.




Quoting nicole2884:

Find the trigger of his tantrums an try removing them







Talk it out like you would with your so but with more details







Warn them more if he doesnt want his diapers changed tell you need to a minute before doing it an then again when you do it
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