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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

sleep training for a 2.5 year old? UPDATE: nite 1

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:37 AM
  • 30 Replies

any advise?  my 2.5 year old has been sleeping just horribly and i dont know how to help him.  he has been waking up 3-6 times per night and staying up for long periods of time.  we go from his bed, to the couch, to our bed....its like musical sleep spaces.  and he doesnt sleep well in ANY of them.  sometimes he will go for a few days where he will sleep great but then he switches back to sleeping like crap and disrupts the entire household.

last night he finally went to bed at 9, then he was back up by 11 and we snuggled on the couch until he fell asleep.  by midnight my neck was killing me and i was sick of getting kicked.  i got up and went to my bed.  then within an hour he was back up.  then my husband snuggled him on the couch.  by 3 am he finally came back to bed.  by 4 am our son was back up AGAIN.  we brought him into our bed where he wispered and kicked and was a general pain in the butt until my husband got up to go to work at 5.  i spent the next hour trying to get him to go back to sleep but he spent most of the time hanging half off the bed kicking the frame.  by 6:15 he ran out of the room, into the bathroom and threw cat food everywhere.

now if he had just gone to SLEEP at 9 then getting up at around 6 would be no big deal.  but i cant handle this sort of disruptive sleep.  i have adrenal fatigue and my body creates cortizol when i hit REM....so if i dont ever get to that point then i literally feel so ill the next day i can barely function.  this is a big reason why i started taking sleep meds (which i have recently weaned myself off of) and i need to figure something out.  if he was a tiny little baby then i would expect this type of behavior, but he is going to be 3 in august!

any advise?  i hate cio and dont mind bedsharing, but he is NOT good with bedsharing...and i swear i am just about ready to duct tape the kid into bed and get a set of ear plugs.  HELP ME!

okay so this is what happened in night one:  he snuggled with dad and had quiet time from 7 until 7:45.  then dad got him ready and put him to bed and sat by him a few feet away on the couch.  when he got up he put him back into the bed.  he screamed the whole time.  he was asleep by nine and eric went to sleep in the bedroom. 

i got home at 10.  by 10:30 he got up and was crying in the kitchen heading for our room.  i put him back to bed and sat by him on the couch.  he cried for 30 minutes and tried to get out twice.  then he finally went to sleep.  at 2 am he got up AGAIN.  at this point my husband got up and put him in his bed and sat by him on the couch.  he screamed, cried and tried to get up over and over again for an hour but finally went to sleep.  at 5:45 he got up AGAIN.  i put him in his bed and told him it was still time to sleep.  he went down pretty easily after 5 minutes of crying. 

he was back up at 6:30 and by then it was "time" to wake up and i got up and so did his little brother.  long story short we will just keep repeating the process until he understands that he has to sleep in his bed.  i just pray it gets better soon :(

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tansyflower
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 8:43 AM
2 moms liked this

i am starting to wonder if we just need to be consistant and give him a hug and a kiss and place him back in his bed EVERY time he wakes up....like they do on super nanny.  is that terrible to do?

jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:00 AM
It could be dietary. Cut artificial dyes and colors from his diet first.

Make night time night time. And if he wakes up, tell him it's ok to be up and play with a couple quiet toys, but he needs to stay on his bed and in the dark. Hopefully that will help keep him still. That's what I had to do when Isis was clearly tired but refused to nap, I told her she didn't need to nap but that it was "quiet time," and when she was tired she inevitably fell asleep.

GL.
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hriabywx4
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:05 AM
I think "sleep training" plans are more appropriate for a child this age than babies. But I would make sure I did my best to rule out any underlying causes first.

Just from what you have written the first thing I would attempt is to cut out the musical sleeping spaces! :) you and dad need to decide how ur going to treat this and both follow through.

I suggest KIB, keep it boring! Lights off or very low, speak softly and only the bare minimum, lo back to his bed. You might choose to sit with him until he goes back to sleep.

I don't think it's a bad thing to encourage good sleep, it doesn't have to be stressful!

I do wonder I maybe he is in a growth spurt? Goo luck mom!
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nikzup03
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:05 AM

i just went through this with my 2.5 year old last month, but i also weaned her since i'm preggers wit twins and nursing was becoming awful, and i needed to keep up my cals. anyways, i did a longer version of the james mckenna sleep thing for toddlers (i can't remember) i think that had more to do with weaning though, but she also sleeps in a twin so i just slept with her in there and once she no longer wanted to nurse, it was more then getting her to sleep longer, which i would just sleep with her, and leave. if she woke up i would go back and lay down with her... she never got out of bed though. i don't think she ever thought about it! lol. consistency is key for sure. i sometimes sleep in the guest room since i'm awful at sleeping and dh yells at me (gets up at 5 also) and it's really hard to not bring her to bed with me when she gets up. she's only getting up once a night now, usually to go potty. and we always have to sing itsy bitsy spider and tell three little pigs to get her to fall back asleep. i can live with this (at least until the twins come, but we have plenty of time still) good luck, i hope you find something that works and you can live with! i always think nighttime parenting is the toughest

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tansyflower
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:09 AM

i make all my food from scratch so i dont think its dietary related.

and the crazy part is he sleeps just fine during nap time.  it doesnt matter if you give him a drink or a toy, if you leave him in his bed he just continues to scream and will eventually get up and come into the bedroom and continue screaming until you let him get in bed....and then half the time he wont go BACK to sleep.  he is incredibly disruptive :(

Quoting jellyphish:

It could be dietary. Cut artificial dyes and colors from his diet first.

Make night time night time. And if he wakes up, tell him it's ok to be up and play with a couple quiet toys, but he needs to stay on his bed and in the dark. Hopefully that will help keep him still. That's what I had to do when Isis was clearly tired but refused to nap, I told her she didn't need to nap but that it was "quiet time," and when she was tired she inevitably fell asleep.

GL.


AtiFreeFalls
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:12 AM

Do you have a regular bedtime routine?

tansyflower
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:15 AM

he was starting to get really resistant to even getting into bed...he would hop in and out 10 times before staying put.  then i would tell him a "story" of what his day had been like from start to finish ending with him going into his bed and staying put.  i have been trying to be consistant with him....but man that child has a stubborn streak.

i am just at the point where if cuddling him back to sleep doesnt work, and bedsharing doesnt work then what other option do we have?  whenever i saw super nanny and her advise on sleep training i always dismissed it...but then again i also had a child who went to sleep easily and only woke up when he was thirsty or wet.  in the past few months he has totally changed and now its just about unbearable :(

Quoting nikzup03:

i just went through this with my 2.5 year old last month, but i also weaned her since i'm preggers wit twins and nursing was becoming awful, and i needed to keep up my cals. anyways, i did a longer version of the james mckenna sleep thing for toddlers (i can't remember) i think that had more to do with weaning though, but she also sleeps in a twin so i just slept with her in there and once she no longer wanted to nurse, it was more then getting her to sleep longer, which i would just sleep with her, and leave. if she woke up i would go back and lay down with her... she never got out of bed though. i don't think she ever thought about it! lol. consistency is key for sure. i sometimes sleep in the guest room since i'm awful at sleeping and dh yells at me (gets up at 5 also) and it's really hard to not bring her to bed with me when she gets up. she's only getting up once a night now, usually to go potty. and we always have to sing itsy bitsy spider and tell three little pigs to get her to fall back asleep. i can live with this (at least until the twins come, but we have plenty of time still) good luck, i hope you find something that works and you can live with! i always think nighttime parenting is the toughest


tansyflower
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:20 AM

yup.  he goes and gets his night time diapers, dad puts them on, they snuggle on the couch for about a half hour and have quiet time to settle down and then i tell him a story and then he gets placed in bed.  sometimes he falls asleep, other times he gets out 10 times in a row.  sometimes he will sleep throughout the night and only get up once for a drink, other times he is up every hour on the hour and it doesnt matter where he sleeps or if we sleep with him he is totally disruptive and doesnt sleep well.

maybe switching from the couch to our bed and his bed ect ect is not the best thing.  thats why i am starting to consider sleep training where we place him in his bed and if he cries just rub his back and give him a kiss and then keep putting him back in his own bed. idk what else to do.

Quoting AtiFreeFalls:

Do you have a regular bedtime routine?


jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Could he have an unidentified allergy? Disruptive sleep like this could be a sign of an allergy.
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nikzup03
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 9:36 AM

have you thought about changing the whole sleep routine and starting from scratch? i've never done it, lol, but the though as crossed my mind when dd2 was having terrible sleep. and she usually has worse night if she takes a late nap (she is refusing naps which is terrible for night sleep!!!!) i think regardless of what you do... you may have some sleepless nights coming your way :/ booo

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