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Gender Reveal and a Bad Reaction. . . .Please no judging.

Posted by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:42 PM
  • 72 Replies
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So today DH and I had our 20 week ultrasound with baby number 3. Come to find out we are having another girl. My reaction was tears and I hate to admit it, but it was tears of sadness. I am upset that we are having yet another girl. I know! I know! Be thankful that I can even have a baby. A lot of people aren't as lucky. Trust me, I am so ashamed at how badly I am reacting to the news that I can't even look DH in the face. I have been trying to see on the bright side of things, but I can't stop being mad and upset about the whole thing. Am I the only mother that has felt this way? Please do not judge me. I have been crying all afternoon and am just looking for some support. This has been really hard for me to write and admit.


**Up Date**

Thank you for all of the support. I am feeling much better now. I am very excited to have another little girl to raise. Part of the reason I was so upset the other day was because my DH told me he didn't want more children after this child. I really thought I was having a boy because my pregnancy was so different this time. So when we found out, my hopes for a son were crushed. Ever since I was a little girl I wanted to have a son. I wanted that mother/son bond that lasts forever. I wanted to be the first women he ever loved. I just love the idea of it all! Since this day, my DH has informed me that he now wants two more children. I am very excited because I have always wanted a big family since I came from one. I still have a chance to have my son and if I don't, I am completely 100% okay with that. I know hormones played a huge part in my reaction. I will know better for next time. For those of you that I have offended with this post well... Get over it because I sure have! :)


expecting girl                   its a girl                             kissing

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:42 PM
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by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:47 PM
I'm so sorry! Please know that your feelings aren't awful and that plenty of parents feel some initial disappointment. Big hugs!
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:49 PM
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You are definitely entitled to your emotions. I have a friend who said she knew she was having a girl. She felt it, dreamed it, and just knew with her whole heart and soul. She then went for her ultrasound and we all texted and called begging for the results but she wouldn't respond. She withdrew for the day and grieved theoss of her dream girl because she was having a boy.

Now her boy is 11 months and she adores him. Her feelings then didn't mean she loved her baby any less. She just needed to process her emotions.
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by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:52 PM
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Nope. Not the only one. I was disappointed each tine we were told to buy pink instead of blue. Now I wouldn't change it for the world BUT I *wanted* boys. Life doesn't always throw us what we want, and it's normal, OK, and acceptable to feel sad about that. I'm sure you'll cherish her just the same when she gets here. I know I did. Even though girls aren't what I wanted, I've now learned they are what I *needed*.
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by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:52 PM

I think it is completely understandable. I'm sure you will feel better about it soon, don't feel bad about how you feel. 

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 9:58 PM
Dh and I both wanted and hoped our second would be our daughter. At about 3-4 months ini the pregnancy bil and his wife became pregnant. They swore from cenception it was a girl.
We had our second baby boy, yes I was disappointed through some of the pregnancy, and they had their little girl. He's almost a year old now, 2 weeks til his bday, and we couldn't be happier with him
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by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:00 PM
Yes, it is sad and tragic when people go through infertility, but that doesn't make your feelings any less real and painful. Your feelings are yours to have and you can't diminish them because there is someone worse off than you.
I have 2 boys now and we might try for a girl. If I have another boy, I can honestly say I would be disappointed that I never got the chance to experience a daughter.
I have 2 friends who both had twins. Both of my friends really, really wanted girls. My one friend found out through ultrasound that she was having fraternal boys. Her and her husband cried from the time they left the office until they went to bed. She said she was overwhelmingly sad because she knew she would never have any other chidren. She worked through he feelings for the rest of her pregnancy and was happy when her boys were born healthy.
My other friend with twin boys knew she would be sad if she didn't have one girl because she already had one boy and they weren't going to have any more kids. She waited until they were born to find out their gender, and she went through a week of post partum sadness grieving over her lost dream of having a girl. She was so sad that she had to call her post partum doula to get out her feelings. Of course she felt guilty for feeling the way she did when she had 2 healthy boys.
You aren't alone in your feelings.
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by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:04 PM

Aww hon.. of course your disappointed.  But a lot of the emotions are hormones.  You have every right to your feelings.  *HUGS*

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:20 PM

When i was having my 3rd child i wanted a 3rd girl.  The 20 week U/S revealed (by mistake, since we didn't want to know the sex) that baby was a boy. I was heart broken!! what the hell would i do with a boy!! i was a GIRL mom!!! i was putting on a fake face for weeks afterwards. but when push came to shove and i had my little baby boy in my arms... there was nothing but astonishment and utter love for him.  It still didn't mean i didn't have troubles working out my feelings over his sex.

Now this time... we found out that we are having our 3rd girl (my kids are girl, girl, boy and soon to be girl) and i think, even though i'm excited and wanted another girl, that my husband is the one who is disappointed with baby's sex. I truly think he wanted a 2nd son. so it's taking him a while to come around to more pink bows and frilly dresses. I still have 12 weeks left until my due date with this baby.

You are allowed to be disappointed!! it's natural. you hoped for a boy and that's not what you are getting... hopes dashed! normal. you will get through it and you will LOVE this baby just as you did your others. try not to feel bad!

by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:23 PM

I did that with my 1st baby, that baby is now 10 and one of my best buddies. I have had friends go 4 girls before getting a boy, when you have your hopes leading you in one direction and you find out it's wrong it's almost like losing a child even though it was only a hope. It is very common and you are not alone.

feel betterhugs

by Silver Member on Mar. 2, 2013 at 12:22 AM
Your not the only one to have gender disappointment, its fairly common. I had it with my first born.
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