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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

second thought about a homebirth

Posted by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:04 PM
  • 18 Replies

I posted the other day about my dh not wanting me to have our baby at home. well we went to see the midwife and he has agreed to be open to the idea. I was very excited now i dont know what i want. all I feel about the whole birth process is scared. this will be my second vbac. i had no pain meds with the first so i feel more prepared this time for the actual delivery. the thing that is bothering me is this is my second vbac. i went into the vbac group and read about someone that wanted to vbac a second time and had a c section. the doctor told her there was a window in her uterus. After reading that I just feel sooooo panicky. With my first vbac I was not afraid at all. I dont know where to go from here, thank god i have a lot of time. i wish there was some way to check and maybe grade the scar at the end. 

my homebirth pros:

no car ride while having contraction (we are about an hour driving the speed limit to the hospital)

I know it would be much more hands off

the comforts of being home

cons:

20 min to the nearest no vbac hospital (only for emergency)


Hospital pros:

big birth pool

not having to worry if my house is clean lol (a bit ocd)

the mw promised to keep the hospital staff away

Cons:

being on monitors the whole time

feeling like i have no control over what will happen


 

Can you share with me why you choose a home birth? any good resource on home birth? any books you can recommend? sorry this is kind of a long vent. i dont really have anyone else to talk to about this. 

by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
monalisasus
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:16 PM

i chose a homebirth birth because it was the best option for me and my baby. It lowered my risk of csection and allowed me to have immediate bonding time. It also allowed me to birth in the water and not tear. It allowed me to not have the cord cut until I wanted to and to just lay in my bed when I was done. I would continue to bring all your fears and questions to your midwife. They are there to give very good information. I loved any book by Ina May Gaskin. and the movies Buisness of Being born and More buisness of being born on netflix. I dont know much about second VBACS though, but More business of being born has a episode on the topic.  Fear is the hardest part. Wherever you feel you and your baby are the most relaxed is where you will have success. Much love.

ParanormalSarah
by Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:17 PM
I would watch born in america and made in the usa
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mommytotwonow
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:23 PM

i had all that with my vbac in the hospital. my mw at the time was amazing and let me give birth with out any help from her. she just sat on the end of the bed and watched. lo was with me until i was ok with the nurse doing what she had to do, about 40 minutes. i didnt get to water birth because my bp was VERY high tho. we also waited to cut the cord and the mw asked me first. 

i do need to talk more with my mw. she said at my first visit that she thinks i have post traumatic stress from my first birth so i think that plays a big part in all the fear and control issues I have. 

Quoting monalisasus:

i chose a homebirth birth because it was the best option for me and my baby. It lowered my risk of csection and allowed me to have immediate bonding time. It also allowed me to birth in the water and not tear. It allowed me to not have the cord cut until I wanted to and to just lay in my bed when I was done. I would continue to bring all your fears and questions to your midwife. They are there to give very good information. I loved any book by Ina May Gaskin. and the movies Buisness of Being born and More buisness of being born on netflix. I dont know much about second VBACS though, but More business of being born has a episode on the topic.  Fear is the hardest part. Wherever you feel you and your baby are the most relaxed is where you will have success. Much love.


mommytotwonow
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this

i need to re watch them its been a while

Quoting ParanormalSarah:

I would watch born in america and made in the usa


GoodyBrook
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Please know that ANYONE can have a "window" in their uterus, NOT just women who have had a c-section.  A window is not a rupture and may never lead to a rupture...

I so wish that the term "rupture" wasn't used at all!  It is sooo graphic and brings to mind an exploding uterus and immediate death.  Luckily this is NOT the case.  The vast majority of ruptures don't even need intervention!  (But when the OB finds one during a failed VBAC section, he does make it seem like he saved your life!)

I can't recall the source right now, but statistics show that as long as you birth within a certain distance from a hospital, it is as safe a birthing in the hospital itself...  (I believe that it is within 30 minutes).

And remember, statistically a woman going for her second VBAC is even MORE likely to succeed than she did at her first one!  You'll do great, mama, wherever you choose to birth!  :)

GoodyBrook
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:29 PM

Oh, and I totally understand your comment about having PTSD from your first birth.  Me, too.  :(

pinkcoffeecup
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:32 PM

I would not want a home birth.  I'd be to scared.  What if there was a complication.  Not that you will have one.  But I myself would feel safer in the hospital. You can still have a midwife deliver and go all natural.  One hospital by us will even allow for a water birth.  This would be something I'd be discussing in details with your Midwife or doctor.  Making sure you are in the right health and all that to deliver at home. 

mommytotwonow
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:34 PM

thank you! the mw said the same thing about the 30 min window. i feel like i am dealing with my own stress and fears and everyone else's on top of it. its so over whelming. 

Quoting GoodyBrook:

Please know that ANYONE can have a "window" in their uterus, NOT just women who have had a c-section.  A window is not a rupture and may never lead to a rupture...

I so wish that the term "rupture" wasn't used at all!  It is sooo graphic and brings to mind an exploding uterus and immediate death.  Luckily this is NOT the case.  The vast majority of ruptures don't even need intervention!  (But when the OB finds one during a failed VBAC section, he does make it seem like he saved your life!)

I can't recall the source right now, but statistics show that as long as you birth within a certain distance from a hospital, it is as safe a birthing in the hospital itself...  (I believe that it is within 30 minutes).

And remember, statistically a woman going for her second VBAC is even MORE likely to succeed than she did at her first one!  You'll do great, mama, wherever you choose to birth!  :)


mommytotwonow
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:37 PM

i am seeing an amazing midwife who can deliver me at home or in the hospital. she is the only mw anywhere me me that does both. i think i could have the birth i want in either place. 

Quoting pinkcoffeecup:

I would not want a home birth.  I'd be to scared.  What if there was a complication.  Not that you will have one.  But I myself would feel safer in the hospital. You can still have a midwife deliver and go all natural.  One hospital by us will even allow for a water birth.  This would be something I'd be discussing in details with your Midwife or doctor.  Making sure you are in the right health and all that to deliver at home. 


GoodyBrook
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:42 PM

Add to your previous experiences the fact that you have pregnancy hormones coursing through your body, OF COURSE you feel overwhelmed! 

My midwife suggested I speak with someone about my c-section experience in order to clear my head and prepare for a more positive birth.  I carried phone numbers for a couple of counsellors for a few weeks, and that was enough to help ease my mind.  Maybe talking to someone professional might help you?  Or maybe posting about your first birth will help?  I know that getting my experience off my chest in various groups here on CM was a wonderful outlet... 

:)

Quoting mommytotwonow:

thank you! the mw said the same thing about the 30 min window. i feel like i am dealing with my own stress and fears and everyone else's on top of it. its so over whelming

Quoting GoodyBrook:

Please know that ANYONE can have a "window" in their uterus, NOT just women who have had a c-section.  A window is not a rupture and may never lead to a rupture...

I so wish that the term "rupture" wasn't used at all!  It is sooo graphic and brings to mind an exploding uterus and immediate death.  Luckily this is NOT the case.  The vast majority of ruptures don't even need intervention!  (But when the OB finds one during a failed VBAC section, he does make it seem like he saved your life!)

I can't recall the source right now, but statistics show that as long as you birth within a certain distance from a hospital, it is as safe a birthing in the hospital itself...  (I believe that it is within 30 minutes).

And remember, statistically a woman going for her second VBAC is even MORE likely to succeed than she did at her first one!  You'll do great, mama, wherever you choose to birth!  :)



 

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