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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

SO doesnt want baby to co.sleep? what should i do?

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 2:26 PM
  • 22 Replies
So this is the deal. I have a 31/2 year old who.I co slept with from birth to about 6 months then transitioned her to her own bed.. and now I have a 1 week.old baby boy who I want to do the same .. last night my SO ( sons dad and stepdad to my daughter ) told me he doesn't want him to co sleep because he is worried about him suffocating and me squishing him and he can't sleep because he is worried. I understand his concern and I want to be supportive of what he wants too.. but I can't convince myself to make baby sleep.on his own.. Im a light sleeper and always wake.up the minute my son wakes up to nurse and.I absolutely love going to sleep with my baby and the bond I feel it establishes... My mom co slept with me and its part of my tradition. I don't know what to do! What would be a good compromise? Who else.has had this issue? How did you solve it ?
CafeMom Tickers
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 2:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
danichaos
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 2:28 PM
1 mom liked this
Same thing happened with my dh and I.
I did it anyways and baby never got squished... In a full sized bed.

Do what you want, either dh will get used to it, or he can move to the couch.
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larissalarie
by Gold Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 3:12 PM
2 moms liked this
Tell him that if he wants you to have to get outta bed to feed baby every time he wakes at night (assuming you breastfeed), then you expect him to wake up and get outta bed with you. Every.single.time. And then make him, be a meanie if you have to, but don't let him sleep or stay in bed relaxing while you've gotta get up multiple times a night. If after a night or two of that (no napping in the daytime either unless you are getting a nap!) he's still opposed to sharing the bed with baby, I'd be really surprised!
Also maybe side car the crib and see if that helps him feel better about it.
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monalisasus
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 4:57 PM

Perhaps show him the research and how important it is to you. My hubby wasnt comfortable either becasue he says hes a violent sleeper, which I never experienced he said he kicked and ex really hard in his sleep once years ago lol.for the first 6 weeks he slept on the couch then I just put baby in a basinet right next to me. However I think this time he gets it and wont care. he is so aware of our dd when she jumps into our bed that he covers her and rubs her back without even knowing it. 

jbyrd898
by Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 5:07 PM
1 mom liked this

can you side car the baby next to you?

Nicolle_09
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 7:52 PM
My man never had a choice.
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Darmino
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 7:54 PM
I'm looking into buying a co sleeper bassinet that goes against the bed. Or one that goes in the bed but helps make it safer. I trust myself not to squish baby but I want my man happy too.. or else maybe let baby fall asleep in bed with us then move to bassinet and bring back to bed to nurse.. so kinda back and forth
kailu1835
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 7:56 PM

Get a cosleeper.  Or show him all the evidence showing that cosleeping is best for baby.

catholicmamamia
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 10:10 PM

Show him 'the evidence,' and have baby sleep between you and wall (co-sleeper, etc). 


                
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amazzonia
by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 10:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Get a cosleeper 

jconney80
by Group Mod on Mar. 16, 2013 at 11:24 PM
This. And educate him on the reality of how safe bedsharing is when done safely as opposed to being in a crib alone.

Quoting larissalarie:

Tell him that if he wants you to have to get outta bed to feed baby every time he wakes at night (assuming you breastfeed), then you expect him to wake up and get outta bed with you. Every.single.time. And then make him, be a meanie if you have to, but don't let him sleep or stay in bed relaxing while you've gotta get up multiple times a night. If after a night or two of that (no napping in the daytime either unless you are getting a nap!) he's still opposed to sharing the bed with baby, I'd be really surprised!

Also maybe side car the crib and see if that helps him feel better about it.
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