Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I think I was in denial about birth. Advice please?

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:15 AM
  • 33 Replies

I am sixteen and 32 weeks pregnant. When I first got pregnant I looked up birthing videos and I was scared but I thought I could do it. Well the other day I looked at them again and oh my god I am terrified! I don't know if I can do it! Obviously I'm going to have to but now it finally hit me that I am actually going to give birth to a human. I am planning on doing it all natural. No epidual, or pain meds. Looking at the videos again probably wasn't the best choice. But I am lucky to have my mother in the room with me, I swear she has magical hands that take pain away. Plus she had four natural births, and I broke her tailbone. So I'm pretty sure that will help having her in there

CafeMom Tickers
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:15 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:25 AM
3 moms liked this
The videos helped me, honestly. Watching animals helped me, too. It helps to see that, left to our own instincts, we're absolutely capable.

You can do it. :)
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:31 AM
3 moms liked this

You need to find videos of peaceful births... Are you watching  a baby story or something?  These are not good videos to watch as they are made for TV and what on tv sells the most? DRAMA.

Look hun, I won't tell you that it won't be scary, or a walk in the park... that's just lying to you.  Childbirth HURTS and that pain can and has scared every single woman on earth. I was 18 when i had my first child (12 years ago) and the first thing i did was BEG for drugs.. thinking that this would solve my problem. It didn't. I was so far dialated for them to give me any type of drugs so i did it Old school... I mean Ancient times! Drug free baby!! It's scary and you feel like you are the only person on earth that has even been in the position before... but it's not true.  Lean on your mother, she'll help you through this. And there will get to a point in the labour where you are more focused on pushing that baby out then you are about the pain.  You focus and knuckle down and just GET IT DONE... that's how it worked for me. I've had 2 more babies since my first birth and I'm actually pregnant with my 4th right now. I'm actually only 2 weeks behind you!!

YOU CAN DO THIS! women for EONS have been doing this. You aren't alone. Just remember to breathe deep and dig down for that strength to get this done.

Candice - Mom to  Miss K, Miss E and Little Mr. M! We are Canadian!

Working on baby #4!

Lilypie Maternity tickers

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 7:19 AM
2 moms liked this

What kinds of videos are you watching? Stay away from the TV drama ones and look for homebirths on youtube. They're a lot more realistic and positive.

I've had two drug-free births and I don't like watching birth videos when I'm pregnant. It's just not helpful or encouraging for me personally.

You can do it! Women's bodies were made to give birth. It sounds like you have great support too which is really important.

by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 8:40 AM
The support you will have from your mom who has "been there and done that" naturally is so priceless. It is best if you trust your body but if you have trouble getting to that point, you can lean heavily on her and get though it.

To prepare I just read and watched videos and by the time I went into labor I never once thought I couldn't do it. The ONLY time I doubted my body was during transition but that happens to most people. I didn't realize I was ready to push and thought I had hours and hours left so I said I couldn't do it and was holding my daughter less than 30 min later.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Tabi - Admin on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this

You can do it momma, watching REAL birth videos...not TLC channel is the best thing you can do.  Movement is a great way to help with pain.  Avoiding pitocin and internal exams will help with less pain.

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Just remember women have been doing it since the beginning of time.

When breastfeeding got rough I just reminded myself of that
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Gold Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:59 AM
Agree with above. Birth doesnt have to be scary, it can be a very beautiful process, just watch the right videos. Have you seen "the business of being born?' Great one! Also, maube having a doula wiuld help. Have yoy been to birthng classes? Bradley method is great, some moms use hypnobirthing.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:52 AM

I agree, watch some real birth videos not scary ones. The media sells fear. The best thing I told myself was just to give into to it. My body was designed to do this and not to fight it. Also during labor just tell yourself it only lasts a day and tomorrow you will feel great and have your baby. 

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:58 AM
Also reading empowering birth stories, not the scary drama filled ones, can be helpful.

You can do it. Your body is designed to do this.

As mentioned above, don't have an induction, don't have cervical checks (especially before labor even begins), dont let them break your water and trust that your body knows what it is doing.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 12:05 PM

It's totally normal to freak out this close. I did with my son. You have no idea what's coming except from what you have seen, and NOTHING will fully prepare you for it, but that's ok. Because the thing is, as big as you have it built up in your head, the pain itself is not what you're expecting, and everything after washes it away so fast you'll wonder why you were scared to begin with a couple days later. Hell, for me a couple seconds of holding my baby erased all the fear and stress and pain.

Women have been giving birth for centuries. It is a positive thing. In the moment, it's painful and overwhelming, but it's also the single most positive experience I've ever had. Something else to keep in mind: women go back and do it more than once. I'm cooking baby 2, and am going all natural with this one as well.

For me, videos were helpful, but I stayed away from TV births and videos about the drama of birth. It doesn't have to be that way. Deep breath. Everything is going to be fine.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)