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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Just watched "The business of being born" and am officially freaked out

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:46 PM
  • 36 Replies
My main concern: That I will make the wrong choice in birthing my child. I have been going to an OB since the beginning and read reviews on the staff that all seem great. They do have a midwife, which is what I wanted because I had heard so many great things about using a midwife vs OB. BUT I have been unable to get an appointment with her until next month, I am now 26 weeks. My problem with this office is that its more of a group setting where you are not an individual patient of a particular Dr. but rather a patient of the practice in general. Therefore, you can request your preference, however, there is no guarantee the person have chosen will be available on the day of delivery, as it is difficult to predict when you will go into labor. I don't have the option of doing a home birth and the area I live in is pretty small so there aren't any natural birthing centers. That being said, the hospital that is affiliated with my OB has a birthing center inside, and all moms have private suites to make it more homey and less hospital like. I have a tour appointment next week. The OB I've been seeing is really nice and very experienced and I do like him. My fear with using an OB is just what I've seen in the documentary. That once I am there, I am stuck with doing everything they tell me because it is "for the good of the baby and me" but...how do I know it really IS for the best of my baby and me?! And so, let's say I go with the midwife and a complication arises and now I am using an OB anyway? I'm just really confused, scared and feel totally alone. Any input would be greatly appreciated.
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
larissalarie
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:33 PM
3 moms liked this
Don't be freaked out, be THRILLED!! You've stumbled upon some powerful knowledge and THATS the key, NOT where you deliver or OB vs MEDwife.
Knowing that you are in charge of your body, baby, & treatment (or lack of) is the key. If you trust a doctor or midwife (ESPECIALLY hospital midwife, they aren't significantly different than an OB) to make your natural birth happen, you're almost certainly setting yourself up to fail.
However if you are educated about what is normal, what is not, what things they'll want to intervene for and why 98% it's unnecessary BS, and realize nobody can "make" you do anything you don't consent to...you'll be able to do just fine anywhere with anyone who's on duty that night!
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jmaw89
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:39 PM
^^what she said. Also maybe look into a doula. Or have your so learn with you so someone else can guide the hosp staff while you're too tired to think about it. Also wait as long as possible before going to the hospital. Just remember they can't make you do anything :) good luck you'll do great!!
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catholicmamamia
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:11 PM

Quoting larissalarie: Don't be freaked out, be THRILLED!! You've stumbled upon some powerful knowledge and THATS the key, NOT where you deliver or OB vs MEDwife. Knowing that you are in charge of your body, baby, & treatment (or lack of) is the key. If you trust a doctor or midwife (ESPECIALLY hospital midwife, they aren't significantly different than an OB) to make your natural birth happen, you're almost certainly setting yourself up to fail. However if you are educated about what is normal, what is not, what things they'll want to intervene for and why 98% it's unnecessary BS, and realize nobody can "make" you do anything you don't consent to...you'll be able to do just fine anywhere with anyone who's on duty that night!

 


                
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jconney80
by Group Mod on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:15 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree! Education is power and the key to a natural birth. Get a good doula! Read! Ina May Gaskins book Complete Guide to Child Birth is awesome.

Quoting larissalarie:

Don't be freaked out, be THRILLED!! You've stumbled upon some powerful knowledge and THATS the key, NOT where you deliver or OB vs MEDwife.
Knowing that you are in charge of your body, baby, & treatment (or lack of) is the key. If you trust a doctor or midwife (ESPECIALLY hospital midwife, they aren't significantly different than an OB) to make your natural birth happen, you're almost certainly setting yourself up to fail.
However if you are educated about what is normal, what is not, what things they'll want to intervene for and why 98% it's unnecessary BS, and realize nobody can "make" you do anything you don't consent to...you'll be able to do just fine anywhere with anyone who's on duty that night!
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joyful_mama
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 6:08 AM
I agree with larissa.

A 'midwife' in an OBs office makes me cringe. They do not follow a midwifery model of care they follow the medical model. At least from what I've seen and heard.
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maddiesmommy5
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 7:41 AM

 

Quoting larissalarie:

Don't be freaked out, be THRILLED!! You've stumbled upon some powerful knowledge and THATS the key, NOT where you deliver or OB vs MEDwife.
Knowing that you are in charge of your body, baby, & treatment (or lack of) is the key. If you trust a doctor or midwife (ESPECIALLY hospital midwife, they aren't significantly different than an OB) to make your natural birth happen, you're almost certainly setting yourself up to fail.
However if you are educated about what is normal, what is not, what things they'll want to intervene for and why 98% it's unnecessary BS, and realize nobody can "make" you do anything you don't consent to...you'll be able to do just fine anywhere with anyone who's on duty that night!

 She said it perfectly op, don't be scared your body knows what to do.Trust yourself!

Mrs.Salz
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:53 AM
2 moms liked this

Hire a doula and educate yourself and your labor support. Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer is a great place to start.

tansyflower
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:25 AM
2 moms liked this

you need to let that fear go and know that you can have the birth you desire!  a strong support system and education is the key to having a natural birth in a medical setting and there is so much you can do to work towards that goal!

but fear cant be part of it.  instead replace that with power.  the power that you CAN give birth the way you want no matter where you are!  lots of woman birth in a hospital setting and have really good experiences because they spent a lot of time learning what they needed and making sure they had the right kind of support (like a doula or an informed partner) with them. 

if i was having a hospital birth i would make it my plan to spend as much time laboring at home as possible.  dont leave to go in until you are 1-3 minutes apart.  once you get there labor in the the lobby and walk around, and make sure to eat and drink.  dont even bother checking in until you hit transition or feel the urge to push.  the number one reason why woman get bullied into interventions is because they run to the hospital the minute they start feeling contractions and the moment you step into L&D the clock starts ticking and you HAVE to progress within a certain amount of time.  and if you dont they start pushing pit/epi/antibiotics ect, all which could have been avoided if the woman could have just labored on her own time.  if you wait as long as possible and just let them catch the baby they wont have time to do anything to you!

i am not a big beleiver in birth plans, but i had homebirths with a trusted midwife so i didnt have to worry about it since if i did need to transfer she would have been my advocate in case of an emergency.  but i think this is a good time to write down exactly how you want the birth care to go.  for instance:  birth in the position you feel is best (preferably not on your back),  no episiotimy, a heplock instead of an iv (if there is even time lol), no eye goop, put baby to the breast immediately before cleaning them and leave them there until the cord is white and limp, delay cord clamping until YOU say to cut it, keep baby in your room, no shots if you dont agree to them, make sure your partner is with baby at all times if for some reason they take the baby out of the room so you know your child has an advocate at all times, no formula or bottles are to be used, access to a lactation consultant asap.....see what i mean?  SPELL IT OUT.  PRINT IT OUT.  HAND IT OUT to your dr at one of your prenatals and have them chart it, but also bring it with you and have it clearly posted.  when you sign the consent form you can absolutely cross things out you dont agree with and intial it so it is made clear you did not consent to that procedure.

you are in control mama.  this is your birth.  this is YOUR BABY!!!  dont be afraid to get your mama bear on and i swear you will have a great experience :)

somuchlove4U
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 9:36 AM
You can ask for a certain Dr or the midwife to special you. Meaning even if they aren't on call, they will still come in to deliver your baby. This is what I did. When I make appointments I ask to see the one who will special me.
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Terpsichore
by Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:51 PM
1 mom liked this

There is a cafemom group called Informed Births, Empowered Women. It's not a very active group BUT is does have a lot of resources. I recommend joining the group and looking at their Additional Resources forum, like the Informed Consent one.

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