I was about 20 weeks pregnant with my first child when I decided that I wanted to try natural birth. Before that, I was all about the epidural. Now, I want to do things completely different. My boyfriend is in support of me trying to do it natural but when I brought up having a doula, he freaked out.
My boyfriend is a nurse and feels that I do not need a doula and he is all the support that I need. He feels like "this is his time to shine" and he doesn't want anyone intruding on our experience together. This is just the short version. He was really ugly about the whole thing and made me feel stupid for wanting a doula at the birth. He even went as far to say that if I invite a doula over to meet us, he will just cuss them out and tell them to leave. He thinks I am just having anxiety and that I am worrying too much and thats why he thinks I feel like I need a doula.
I feel defeated at this point. I wish I would have done more research about births before choosing to have a hospital birth. I do not want a home birth, but I feel like a birthing center would fit my needs better. Anyway, it is too late to change all of that now, and I feel that having a doula is the next best thing to having a birth at a birthing center since I have a lot of concerns about giving birth in a hospital.
I dropped the conversation a few weeks ago, but now I am wanting to bring it up again but I have no idea how to with out him getting defensive and angry.
Anyone have suggestions on how to get him to agree to having a doula there?
Shortly after I made this post, I did some more research in changing my birth plan (switching from my hospital to a birthing center). I am happy to say that it was actually very easy to switch because I am still early in the game so to speak (25 weeks pregnant). I just had to get my files transferred from my old doctor to my new one. The birthing center is connected to a hospital (but is separate from the normal labor and delivery). The center is focused on natural birth and all of the nurses are trained in natural birth. Essentially, this makes me feel much more comfortable with my soon-to-be birth experience. Additionally, I no longer feel like I need a doula. This is a win-win for both me and my boyfriend. We don't have to argue about getting a doula, and I get to give birth where I would like where I get the extra support I was looking for in the first place. Thanks for all the replies and the support! I really appreciate it :)