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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

WAY OT and I am pregnant and nesting and this struck the wrong nerve for me! So I am MAD! Ex husband issues

Posted by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:02 AM
  • 21 Replies
My ex husband and I buy our own clothes for the girls. I tried to buy and share but then He would do things like I'd bring them over in clothing and he'd bring them back in Jammas. After a couple weeks I had NO clothes and be had all of them. Well it's been ok for awhile but here we are again... I have bought jeans for the girls 6 TIMES this winter because they go to his house and never come back. Each girl has ONE pair of shoes here even though I have bought each at least 4 pairs. There is not one single coat, jacket or sweater here for the girls. They have about 15 between the two of them. They go to his house and never come back! I send them over dressed and he sends them back home in his old trashed too small clothes for the girls. So me keeping his clothes so it ends up even doesn't actually work either! I just need my clothes and shoes back! I don't mind sharing. I have no problem with the girls having shoes I bought them over there. But when it gets to the point where I have NOTHING left its absolutely infuriating! He's going to ignore me and blow me off until I show up on his door step demanding my stuff back. That's how he ALWAYS does it! Do I need to get a court order for this or something? Can I even do that? This is f-ing ridiculous!!!


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by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:13 AM
2 moms liked this

I would go to his house and demand the kids clothes and stuff lol

Seabreeze9
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:15 AM
That would be so frustrating. I'm not sure how a court order would work for this but it's worth talking to a lawyer. I am guess your kids are still pretty small. Is there any way you can talk with them about bringing their cloths back home.

My step daughter is older so this isn't really an issue for us now but when she was younger it seemed like all the cloths ended up at her moms. We would drive her over with a bag to go pick up cloths since she wouldn't have things to wear. Her mom would do the same when all the cloths ended up her.

Dealing with crappy exs suck! I hope you get it worked out.
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soulofsunmama
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:18 AM
My sister just started sending them back in what he sent to her, also started sending them over barefoot. It was never fixed exactly, but did get much better eventually.
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Nicolle_09
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:20 AM
You can get it put in the visitation order that anything you send over MUST be sent back or he reemburses you for the cost of replacing the items.
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tansyflower
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:28 AM

how old are your kids?  can you send them along with a laundry bag so they bring the clothes home?

rjmac88
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:33 AM
I have seriously tried all of this! Our parenting plan says we each have our own clothes for the kids. They are SUPPOSED to come back in what they went over in.. They don't. They are 7 and 4. I have been trying for a year to get them to at least shove their stuff I. Their back packs and they don't. I can't keep his stuff that he sends them in because he sends them in his nasty old torn trashed too small clothes! So that if I keep them it doesn't worry him. MY 4 year old wears a size 6 and she came over yesterday in 3t!!!!! I just finished throwing out all the INFANT sized socks he was sending them over in! They don't wear this stuff AT his house. Just over to mine. I need some way to MAKE him do it! Clearly just having it written in the parenting plan from the divorce doesn't matter to him at all!!
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Nicolle_09
by Silver Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this
Then report him to the court. When he doesnt follow a court ordered plan he needs reported.

Quoting rjmac88:

I have seriously tried all of this! Our parenting plan says we each have our own clothes for the kids. They are SUPPOSED to come back in what they went over in.. They don't. They are 7 and 4. I have been trying for a year to get them to at least shove their stuff I. Their back packs and they don't. I can't keep his stuff that he sends them in because he sends them in his nasty old torn trashed too small clothes! So that if I keep them it doesn't worry him. MY 4 year old wears a size 6 and she came over yesterday in 3t!!!!! I just finished throwing out all the INFANT sized socks he was sending them over in! They don't wear this stuff AT his house. Just over to mine. I need some way to MAKE him do it! Clearly just having it written in the parenting plan from the divorce doesn't matter to him at all!!
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HopesNDreams
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:46 AM
1 mom liked this
1. Buy a few outfits at a thrift shop or Walmart clearance rack.
2. Take a picture when they get home to document. Send them back in the exact outfit.
3. Send no clothes with them or send one of the outfits from #1. Take pictures of the clothes you send to document.
4. Ask for specific clothing items back in writing. Save this documentation.

In your situation, each house should maintain a wardrobe - he now has one from all the things you've sent. Send nothing else. Keep coats in the car during exchanges - keep a coat at school if he takes them there.
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rjmac88
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:46 AM
The thing is we don't really follow the plan AT ALL! It's 4 years old and we have Changed the custody arrangement and holidays. If I force the parenting plan to be followed for clothing will it ALL be enforced? Our official parenting plan was based on my second daughter being an infant and it sucks

Quoting Nicolle_09:

Then report him to the court. When he doesnt follow a court ordered plan he needs reported.



Quoting rjmac88:

I have seriously tried all of this! Our parenting plan says we each have our own clothes for the kids. They are SUPPOSED to come back in what they went over in.. They don't. They are 7 and 4. I have been trying for a year to get them to at least shove their stuff I. Their back packs and they don't. I can't keep his stuff that he sends them in because he sends them in his nasty old torn trashed too small clothes! So that if I keep them it doesn't worry him. MY 4 year old wears a size 6 and she came over yesterday in 3t!!!!! I just finished throwing out all the INFANT sized socks he was sending them over in! They don't wear this stuff AT his house. Just over to mine. I need some way to MAKE him do it! Clearly just having it written in the parenting plan from the divorce doesn't matter to him at all!!
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rjmac88
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:50 AM
If the outfits don't come back though what I can do? I've done the pictures. Documented everything they had on and with them and told him it needs to come back and then it doesn't. He insists the girls lost it and he can't find it. I can't physically assault him until he gives it back!

He does have a full wardrobe that he bought for them!!! He just takes all of mine TOO.


Quoting HopesNDreams:

1. Buy a few outfits at a thrift shop or Walmart clearance rack.

2. Take a picture when they get home to document. Send them back in the exact outfit.

3. Send no clothes with them or send one of the outfits from #1. Take pictures of the clothes you send to document.

4. Ask for specific clothing items back in writing. Save this documentation.



In your situation, each house should maintain a wardrobe - he now has one from all the things you've sent. Send nothing else. Keep coats in the car during exchanges - keep a coat at school if he takes them there.
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