*Edit*I'm just doing what they tell me" Long, sorry...need your help
I was talking to my brother's gf the other night and asked her if her ultrasound to determine baby's gender will be in June (she'll be 20 weeks beginning of June) and she said, "I don't know. I have to have one in May but I think that will be too early to tell so I would think I'd have another in June." When I asked her why she HAD to have an ultrasound in May (at 16 weeks), she said, "I'm not sure. They just told me I need to have one done and I'm just doing what they tell me." O.M.G. First of all, unless they suspected something was wrong (in which case, they should have told her!), there is NO reason to have an ultrasound at 16 weeks! She has already had two!!!! The first to "determine" how far along she is because she doesn't know when she conceived (which scares the crap out of me because they will probably want to induce her at 40 weeks and who knows if she really is that far along!), and then I don't even know why the hell she had another one! And now another at 16 weeks?? WTH? I'm guessing they'll tell her it's to see how the baby is growing. Okay, if a doctor NEEDS ultrasounds to tell him that the baby is growing, he has no business taking care of pregnant women! My midwife never needed an ultrasound to tell me how my baby was growing, or what position she was in. She even knew prior to my 20 week ultrasound that I had an anterior placenta. I'm really getting nervous about the "care" she is receiving, especially because she is just going along with it, no questions.
I'm trying to compile a list of topics that we (my mom and I) need to discuss with her so that she can make INFORMED decisions. She's one of those women that has just never even thought twice about how babies are born. It's like people think doctors have been around since the dawn of time and women can't survive pregnancy without them. And my brother is the same way and he is the type of man that will just say, "well she's the pregnant one, so whatever she says." So I don't think he will be much help, although I do plan to talk to him, too.
So here is my list so far, please feel free to add anything I have left out or give me any helpful links. I would very much appreciate it!! Since I had a mw and was encouraged to make my own decisions, I might forget some of the things that typically come up in OB care...
- Glucose test
- Group B Strep
- "Due" dates
And of course, all the newborn stuff...
- Hep B
- Vit K
- Eye drops
- Cord clamping
- Skin to skin
- Circumcision, if it's a boy (God I am PRAYING it's a girl so I don't even have to touch this subject on top of everything else! PLEASE let it be a girl!!!)
Okay, please let me know if I have left anything out. If you have any good resources, don't hesitate to share! Thank you SO much!
*I should clarify by saying I am not trying to shove my ways onto her. I am just trying to get all my info together so that I know what I am talking about when I suggest alternatives. I know I wouldn't listen to someone who didn't have all their facts, so that's what I'm trying to do here. . I would LOVE for her to do things differently, of course! But I also know that she has to make her own decisions. I do think she will be open to my suggestions, which is the only reason I am trying. I appreciate the advice and help. :-)