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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

big kids during labor

Posted by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:14 PM
  • 19 Replies
1 mom liked this
What did your big kids do while you labored? My son's 8 and other than driving me batty he's the biggest comfort to me out all in this world. I don't want him seeing my labia but I think I might need him to be home once I get primal. Not necessarily in the room but around, where I know where he is. Idk though I might just want him to go away. We don't have any family out here whatsoever so I can't say, hey little brother if I call this afternoon can you pick up you nefew for a few hours?
What did you do with your big kids? Did they just hang out in their room? Did they stay with you?
by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:14 PM
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Replies (1-10):
GoodyBrook
by Silver Member on May. 1, 2013 at 11:17 PM

Yeah, I agree with not wanting your 8 year old son to see your labia.  Unless you don't mind a big therapy bill for the next few years  :)

Vocalizations might scare an older kid, too, so I'd arrange with him to stay the night with a classmate...

larissalarie
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2013 at 11:27 PM
At that age, you could ask him what he'd like. If he wants to be in the room, let him and let him know it's ok to leave too if he changes his mind.
Otherwise since it sounds like you're having a homebirth, let him hang around the house and do his own thing around the house while you're having the baby if there's nowhere for him to go.

My oldest was 9 when I had the second, she wanted to be there so I let her. It's just a body part, kids don't assign the meaning to it that we do :) Not to mention, it looks completely different when a baby is coming out.
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ummcarter
by Member on May. 1, 2013 at 11:34 PM
Lol I know right, he naver marries because he's afraid of them lol. Thankfully I get quiet the worse pain is. Im normally a kind of loud person so that might scare him though. Hmm we homeschool so there's no classmates. I could probably have him sleep over at no, they are girls. I don't know any of his male friends parents, hmm.


Quoting GoodyBrook:

Yeah, I agree with not wanting your 8 year old son to see your labia.  Unless you don't mind a big therapy bill for the next few years  :)


Vocalizations might scare an older kid, too, so I'd arrange with him to stay the night with a classmate...


ummcarter
by Member on May. 1, 2013 at 11:43 PM
I think yeah, letting him know he can go play or hang out or both I think is a good plan. He's pretty modest so I don't think he'd be terribly inclined to take a peek. Lol I think I need to make a mom's giving birth busy box. Things that are fun and can keep him busy, a list of what he can do to help and a clear set of rules. No leaving the yard without asking etc. Can you guess what issue we've been having this week? Lol
I think he will want to help for the most part.
I think we need to talk about labor and what I might look like, say, and do. He loves hearing all about the bizarre things about pregnancy and asks all the time "What week are we?" Lol I think he'd make a great nurse. Lol


Quoting larissalarie:

At that age, you could ask him what he'd like. If he wants to be in the room, let him and let him know it's ok to leave too if he changes his mind.

Otherwise since it sounds like you're having a homebirth, let him hang around the house and do his own thing around the house while you're having the baby if there's nowhere for him to go.



My oldest was 9 when I had the second, she wanted to be there so I let her. It's just a body part, kids don't assign the meaning to it that we do :) Not to mention, it looks completely different when a baby is coming out.

larissalarie
by Gold Member on May. 1, 2013 at 11:50 PM
1 mom liked this
Awww, he sounds sweet :) I think the box of special activities sounds like a great idea along with clear rules outlined.

Quoting ummcarter:

I think yeah, letting him know he can go play or hang out or both I think is a good plan. He's pretty modest so I don't think he'd be terribly inclined to take a peek. Lol I think I need to make a mom's giving birth busy box. Things that are fun and can keep him busy, a list of what he can do to help and a clear set of rules. No leaving the yard without asking etc. Can you guess what issue we've been having this week? Lol

I think he will want to help for the most part.

I think we need to talk about labor and what I might look like, say, and do. He loves hearing all about the bizarre things about pregnancy and asks all the time "What week are we?" Lol I think he'd make a great nurse. Lol




Quoting larissalarie:

At that age, you could ask him what he'd like. If he wants to be in the room, let him and let him know it's ok to leave too if he changes his mind.


Otherwise since it sounds like you're having a homebirth, let him hang around the house and do his own thing around the house while you're having the baby if there's nowhere for him to go.





My oldest was 9 when I had the second, she wanted to be there so I let her. It's just a body part, kids don't assign the meaning to it that we do :) Not to mention, it looks completely different when a baby is coming out.

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ummcarter
by Member on May. 1, 2013 at 11:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah as the pregnancy first sunk in my brain I had this worry that this baby wouldn't be as absolutely wonderful as my little boy. That's pretty much worn off but even if this kids not like its brother it will be great in its own way.


Quoting larissalarie:

Awww, he sounds sweet :) I think the box of special activities sounds like a great idea along with clear rules outlined.



Quoting ummcarter:

I think yeah, letting him know he can go play or hang out or both I think is a good plan. He's pretty modest so I don't think he'd be terribly inclined to take a peek. Lol I think I need to make a mom's giving birth busy box. Things that are fun and can keep him busy, a list of what he can do to help and a clear set of rules. No leaving the yard without asking etc. Can you guess what issue we've been having this week? Lol


I think he will want to help for the most part.


I think we need to talk about labor and what I might look like, say, and do. He loves hearing all about the bizarre things about pregnancy and asks all the time "What week are we?" Lol I think he'd make a great nurse. Lol






Quoting larissalarie:

At that age, you could ask him what he'd like. If he wants to be in the room, let him and let him know it's ok to leave too if he changes his mind.



Otherwise since it sounds like you're having a homebirth, let him hang around the house and do his own thing around the house while you're having the baby if there's nowhere for him to go.







My oldest was 9 when I had the second, she wanted to be there so I let her. It's just a body part, kids don't assign the meaning to it that we do :) Not to mention, it looks completely different when a baby is coming out.


JNLmomme09
by on May. 2, 2013 at 12:01 AM
A neighbor or boy he's friends with in class
catholicmamamia
by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:28 AM

Some moms find it helps to have a caregiver just for the children.. someone who can mind the children in the home or take them elsewhere if needed. It can be played by ear.. :o) 


                
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jellyphish
by Platinum Member on May. 2, 2013 at 4:16 AM
Well, my four year old daughter was there and crazy helpful. She brought me water between contractions and held my hand during. And she stood by the mw as I birthed. But she was a four year old girl and not an eight year old boy.
I spent a lot of time prepping her and asked her multiple times if she wanted to be there. The plan was to have her there wih my mom, and if she needed to leave my mom would take her.

I agree with asking what he wants and if you are both comfortable with it, great! But having someone there just for him would be helpful to everyone so you don't have to worry about him.
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RADmomma
by on May. 2, 2013 at 7:16 AM
My dd was 5 when my youngest was born. I birthed in a hospital. I walked the halls while hubby stayed with dd in the room. It was 3 am & she was sleeping. Then my parents came & my dad kept her busy. They walked around, played games, had breakfast & did little things to help. When I was in the tub she rubbed my back & helped with a cool cloth. She kept telling me I was doing great. When the dr came in to check me, my dad & Rae would take a walk & see if they could see any babies in the nursery, they stayed out while I pushed & got cleaned up. Then they came back into the room!
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