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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Teaching no hitting with hitting

Posted by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:35 PM
  • 14 Replies
Hey ladies!! I'm at a loss and need your advice. My beautiful daughter is 6 days away from one year old and has picked up a horrible hitting habit. I don't want to teach her not to be violent by being violent so what should I do? I was raised violently and don't want to pass it on. Any suggestions??
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by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 2:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
VintageWife
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:09 PM
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When they're that young, I do the redirecting thing. I hand them a toy and say something like "We use hands to build blocks, not to hurt people." However, with the older kids, I fall into the trap of swatting their behinds and telling them not to hit their sibling (seems legit, right? lol). It's hard to know what to do once they're at an age where they know they are doing it on purpose just to hurt someone.

aykayoh
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 3:44 PM
Right?! I don't want to be hypocritical by hitting her in order to teach her not to hit haha so I'm kind of at a loss here. If I give her something to redirect with she just uses that to hit!
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nicenround
by on Jul. 5, 2013 at 5:32 PM
At that age I just say "no, we don't hit" firmly while holding their hand. If they hit again I do it again. I've never had an issue getting them to stop. At least not until they were 2 and doing it on purpose lol. At that point I still say "no, we don't hit" but then I take away a privilege. So if they hit because of a toy I take it away, if it was because of a seat I make them sit some where else. Recently I started sending my 2 year old to her room. She hates that.
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larissalarie
by Gold Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 5:56 PM
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I say "No, don't hit" and then physically stop the hitting by gently grabbing their hand and not allowing it. Then later you can talk about nice ways you CAN touch people and have her demonstrate that.
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jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Jul. 5, 2013 at 6:57 PM
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I do the things mentioned, and a second offense I move the child or get up an walk away myself.
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my_body_sings
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 12:02 AM

I think redirecting works wonders. And kids really can understand what you mean from a very early age. Even that young, if you hold your childs hand and look directly in their eyes and say 'we do NOT hit', they will get the point. They might continue to push that boundary and see how far they can get but as long as you remain firm and don't waiver from your rule, it will stick. I never had to hit my kids to teach them not to hit. It was important to me to not use any sort of physicaly punishment.

jmaw89
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 12:07 AM
I grab her hands an pet my face or arm or whatever and say no no be gentle. Or I pretend to cry lol. Usually she feels bad and kisses it better.
Paige03
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 12:56 AM

Honestly I see where your coming from with a swat and then telling them not to do it themselves. However I have also seen that method in action. My niece was so bad at hitting. She was just plain mean sometimes, we used redirection, distraction, and rewards for using her words. Yeah the little bugger didn't care. One day my sister got fed up and when my niece hit her because she wanted something ( I think it was a chip) my sister look at her and gave her a swat to the hand that my niece had just hit with. Then said something like you don't like it right well neither do we. My niece kind of looked shocked then walked away and we never had her hit again. 

PICK am not saying spanking, hitting, swatting is a good.parenting move but I have seen its effects with some children. 

polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Jul. 6, 2013 at 1:13 AM
I think that hitting should be used as a last resort. I've smacked my kids' hands when they try to touch dangerous things, but it doesn't happen frequently. For everyday things like hitting and climbing up the back of the couch, I generally just say no you don't do that and move on. My older one is a brat though, so she gets sent to another room until she calms down (she throws violent fits and needs the alone time to stop feeling angry)
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catholicmamamia
by on Jul. 6, 2013 at 11:21 PM

Consistent distraction and redirection.. and I agree with the above advice about moving the person being hit. It would be a natural consequence.. 'if you hit me, I will not want to be near you to get hurt.' 


                
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