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How do you know when you are done having kids?

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:08 AM
  • 36 Replies

How will you know or did you know when you were done having kids? Is there a magical number for you?

We have three. We am debating whether we want to have any more. We are considering adoption in the next couple of years, probably through the state foster system, so we know our family more than likely is not done but we're not sure if we're done biologically. Our youngest is almost a year and a half so if we're having more, I'd like it to be soonish. I'm just so unsure and dh while he does have an opinion also realizes it's me who has to do all the hard work, lol.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:08 AM
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by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:37 AM
We are very fortunate to have the two little girls we have and after my second was born a year ago we were advised against having more. That played into our decision to be done more than anything.
by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 9:39 AM
I think some people just KNOW and it's not always a tangible thing that can be explained.

Then for many others, the natural biological desire for more will/might always be there, but they have to make the practical decision to stop based on things like: how many they can afford to provide well for, how many they feel like they can give adequate attention to, medical issues that arise, etc.

Then there's the type that won't ever be done until nature kicks in!

I'm somewhere between the first two. I'm kinda just feeling like I'm ready to be over the pregnancy/baby/breastfeeding phase of life although there's always gonna be a small part of me that's not 100% certain, and then on a practical level we NEED to be done. If we would keep having kids, we'd probably be looking at turning into a welfare family and signing up for WIC, medicaid, etc and relying on the public to support them.
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by Platinum Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:21 AM
I just know. I've always wanted two. And now that I have two I know even more strongly that I don't want more. I'm not a natural-born-mother like many moms, and there are so many other aspirations I have. Plus I'm pro zero-population growth. And I just think three is too many for me mentally, physically, financially, emotionally.
I don't know, I just know I'm done. If circumstances were better and I had money coming out my butt and vegetarians were allowed to adopt, I'd have considered adoption. (I can't believe how expensive it is to adopt!!)
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by Tabi - Admin on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:45 AM
We thought our number was 4, now we are preggers with 5 and hubs is sure w are done..but now I dont know...we shall see, I am no help
by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 10:52 AM

There is no magical number for me. I just had that "feeling" that I knew I was done. I will say though that, that feeling was 3 years ago and have been toying with the idea of another (would be #4). IDK, I'm trying to finish school and get our relationship into a healthy space before I really consider bringing any more children into the world. I'm 29 so I have a couple of years yet.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:41 PM

I really don't know. DH and I started talking about how many kids we would like and we came to realize we both would like 4 or 5. But I really don't know if that will happen

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:44 PM

We have no magical number.  We just take it one day at a time.

by on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:48 PM
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We just decided the time had passed. Hubby is set to get the big snip next month and of course this month we have a pregnancy scare. LOL I will find out the 25th!

by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:50 PM

Well, despite the "economy" as they say, hubby actually has two careers in a race for him.  Seems everytime we get pregnant, he gets promoted.  Being a family of faith, of course we credit this to the Almighty GOD.  So, I say--we'll probably have kids til my uterus falls  Or shrivels up.  As long as we can take care of our babies and give them the love they need to grow into healthy adults.  PLUS, we don't believe in birth control.  I have had a bad reaction to every birth control I've tried in the beginning of our relationship.

by Member on Jul. 19, 2013 at 1:54 PM
I never wanted more than 3 kids due to the middle child syndrome..but I got 3 girls and knew after my last child we where done. She has so much medically going on with her I just couldn't imagine having another one. Only one of our children where planned though and have only been on bc once in my life.
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