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no more home birth :(

Posted by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:43 PM
  • 31 Replies

long story short:

my dh walked out me a month ago. i was 6 month pregnant. now i have to move in to my mom's guest room with my 2 kids. there is no way to have the birth there and i dont know when i will have my own place. 

I spoke with my midwife and she was very understanding. the plan is now to stay where ever i am comfortable until it's time t go to the hospital. she has rights at the new hospital birth center which i have heard is very nice. she has promised to make things as home like as possible. no nurses, no ob, no anaesthesia walking in as they want. she will have her assistant and ill have my great aunt there. i dont have to be on the monitors and i can do as i want. i am still not in love with the idea but i know she will help be however she can. i trust her and am very grateful that she is the one taking care of me right now. 

my biggest fear is labor now. i dont know how i am going to handle all the emotions that come with it. i cant practice my hynobirth stuff anymore, i try but cant relax. i dont feel ready this time around now and i dont know how to get in that place again. any ideas? i am already going to see a counselor and she helps a bits. 

  BabyFruit Ticker

by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 8:43 PM
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by Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 9:59 PM

Sounds like you've got a good plan going for you: the midwife, laboring outside of the hospital, and Mom can watch the kids and bring them to visit you in the hospital? I tried hypnobirthing with my first and when labor started found it didn't work for me, despite practice. First birth I found the position that was the least uncomfortable for me, tried a water tub (can slow down labor before 5 cm, can be your best friend after 5 cm), and had a support person (hubby) to encourage me and rub my back and stuff.

Second birth I did a lot of similar stuff- bathtub, which doesn't give you anywhere near enough room to move around but I was laboring at home as long as possible, support people hubby and a hired doula (totally worth it), chiropractic care which can be hella expensive but I believe helped get my spine/pelvis better aligned, thus reducing the amount of pain and sped up labor, and didn't take any classes but read some books including Birthing From Within, bradley method Husband-Coached Childbirth, and an Ina May Gaskin book. They all talk about different positions to try, and mention some of the things women do in labor like moaning. So when I felt a strong urge to hit something, I started drumming on the side of the tub for relief, when normally I'd be too embarrassed by how silly it seemed.

by Silver Member on Jul. 22, 2013 at 10:10 PM
I gave birth in a birthing center, it was great (despite having an ob). If I were to do it all over again, I would give birth in the birthing center again.
I hope you are able to have a positive experience. Good luck!
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by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 8:43 AM

Sorry you can't get your hb

by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 9:57 AM

thank you. i;m still going to hold out hope but as long as he is healthy and things go the best they can i know i have done everything i can. 

Quoting JoJoBean8:

Sorry you can't get your hb

by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:13 AM
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Have you been to the center to see it? That might help ease at least that concern, you'll have a mental picture of where you'll be.

I'm so sorry you are going through this :(
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:15 AM
Looks like your midwife will take great care of you despite you not being able to homebirth. Hopefully the couseling will help you work out your fears and emotions.
by Gold Member on Jul. 23, 2013 at 11:20 AM
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Oh my goodness mama!!! Im so sorry about what you are.going through! It makes me angry for you! I think.counseling is a great idea, and it sounds like you have an.awesome team.with you for your birth!

One thing my wise Aunt told me was, "ride with the wave", i think that goes for labor as well as the things that you are faced with right now.
by Tabi - Admin on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:27 PM
HUGS momma. I am so sorry things are so rotten and not going as planned. As you get closer to birth I hope the hormones come and you find peace with everything.
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 12:42 PM
I'm looking at having to give up my homebirth, too. But seeing it was actually going to be in a hotel (I live too far from any midwives), I'm thinking it just isn't worth the cost. It isn't in my home either way, I'd have the same midwives at the hospital, and they said while there are some hospital policies I'd have to be made aware of, they are under no obligation at all to try to force me into accepting them. We'd just need to write up a birth plan to cover their butts so they don't get into trouble with the hospital. Not exactly a big deal. I wouldn't even have to deal with any nurses. One of my midwives would show up the same time as me and stay with me, and the other would come in time for the birth. It's more the idea that I'm mourning missing out on, lol.

I'd have a long talk with your midwife on the differences it would make. And you could always consider a hotel.
by on Jul. 23, 2013 at 2:47 PM

 Glad your going to see a counselor I hope it helps.  I'm sorry for your situation, can't imagine how difficult it must be.

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