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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Teaching children to say NO!

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:35 AM
  • 11 Replies
http://peacefulparent.com/pitfalls-obedience-training/

What does everyone think? I agree that we have to teach them to express feelings & stand up for themselves.
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 9:35 AM
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Replies (1-10):
JoJoBean8
by Group Mod on Nov. 12, 2013 at 10:27 AM

We don't like to use the word no. Our children know if we say no it's a big deal and to stop what they are doing immediately. We are use it in a dangerous situations. We have taught them how to say no without using the word. 

SLYMommy09
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this
Can you please elaborate? I would like to stop saying "no" to my daughter. I know that saying "no" all of the time leads kids to ignore what they are hearing. I just want her to know that she can question authority if something doesn't feel morally right.

Quoting JoJoBean8:

We don't like to use the word no. Our children know if we say no it's a big deal and to stop what they are doing immediately. We are use it in a dangerous situations. We have taught them how to say no without using the word. 

JoJoBean8
by Group Mod on Nov. 12, 2013 at 11:08 AM

We started when they were young. If they touched something they weren't supposed to we would say not for (insert name). Now that they are older we can talk to them more. If they ask for a snack before dinner instead of just saying no we ask them if they think their belly will have enough room for a snack and dinner. I know these are broad examples but it's the only thing I can think of at the moment. 

Quoting SLYMommy09:

Can you please elaborate? I would like to stop saying "no" to my daughter. I know that saying "no" all of the time leads kids to ignore what they are hearing. I just want her to know that she can question authority if something doesn't feel morally right.

Quoting JoJoBean8:

We don't like to use the word no. Our children know if we say no it's a big deal and to stop what they are doing immediately. We are use it in a dangerous situations. We have taught them how to say no without using the word. 


SLYMommy09
by on Nov. 12, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Those are very good examples! I hope it's not too late to use some of these with my 4.5 year old. My 2nd child will benefit from the mistakes I made with my 1st...

Quoting JoJoBean8:

We started when they were young. If they touched something they weren't supposed to we would say not for (insert name). Now that they are older we can talk to them more. If they ask for a snack before dinner instead of just saying no we ask them if they think their belly will have enough room for a snack and dinner. I know these are broad examples but it's the only thing I can think of at the moment. 

Quoting SLYMommy09:

Can you please elaborate? I would like to stop saying "no" to my daughter. I know that saying "no" all of the time leads kids to ignore what they are hearing. I just want her to know that she can question authority if something doesn't feel morally right.



Quoting JoJoBean8:

We don't like to use the word no. Our children know if we say no it's a big deal and to stop what they are doing immediately. We are use it in a dangerous situations. We have taught them how to say no without using the word. 


JoJoBean8
by Group Mod on Nov. 12, 2013 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this

it's never to late =) It'll just take time and patients. Don't think of it as mistakes. You learn more with each child. 

Quoting SLYMommy09:

Those are very good examples! I hope it's not too late to use some of these with my 4.5 year old. My 2nd child will benefit from the mistakes I made with my 1st...

Quoting JoJoBean8:

We started when they were young. If they touched something they weren't supposed to we would say not for (insert name). Now that they are older we can talk to them more. If they ask for a snack before dinner instead of just saying no we ask them if they think their belly will have enough room for a snack and dinner. I know these are broad examples but it's the only thing I can think of at the moment. 

Quoting SLYMommy09:

Can you please elaborate? I would like to stop saying "no" to my daughter. I know that saying "no" all of the time leads kids to ignore what they are hearing. I just want her to know that she can question authority if something doesn't feel morally right.



Quoting JoJoBean8:

We don't like to use the word no. Our children know if we say no it's a big deal and to stop what they are doing immediately. We are use it in a dangerous situations. We have taught them how to say no without using the word. 



jconney80
by Group Mod on Nov. 13, 2013 at 3:38 AM
I did the same thing. Now that my little ones are older I just change the wording around. If they're being too wound up and rough housing I say "it's not time to play like that because someone might get hurt. We can play more roughly outside" or "can you please use your inside voice?" or "can you please walk in the house so that you don't fall" "you need to be quiet because your brother is sleeping" instead of "stop yelling" etc etc etc. You can basically do it with everything. I give reasons for why I'm asking them not to do something so that they learn to think about how their behaviors affect other people. Sometimes asking nicely doesn't work so I have to just say it as a statement.

Quoting JoJoBean8:We started when they were young. If they touched something they weren't supposed to we would say not for (insert name). Now that they are older we can talk to them more. If they ask for a snack before dinner instead of just saying no we ask them if they think their belly will have enough room for a snack and dinner. I know these are broad examples but it's the only thing I can think of at the moment. Quoting SLYMommy09:Can you please elaborate? I would like to stop saying "no" to my daughter. I know that saying "no" all of the time leads kids to ignore what they are hearing. I just want her to know that she can question authority if something doesn't feel morally right.


Quoting JoJoBean8:

We don't like to use the word no. Our children know if we say no it's a big deal and to stop what they are doing immediately. We are use it in a dangerous situations. We have taught them how to say no without using the word. 


GoodyBrook
by Silver Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 4:00 AM

We don't tend to use he word "no" in our house.  If the biggie is rough with the baby, we'll just say, "Gentle to Baby, please!"  If he starts to throw a rock into the street, we'll encourage him to throw it into the ditch instead.  If he wants another banana, we'll say "Do you really think that's a good idea, or should we have dinner instead?" 

It's not pefect.  He's 2.5 and we're still learning!

 

tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Nov. 13, 2013 at 8:06 AM
We used to try so hard never to say no, but as the kids got older and away from us and around other adults int ehir lives they now think us not saying no is being a softy and that they can push the limits ebcause we didnt say no.
SLYMommy09
by on Nov. 13, 2013 at 9:24 AM
I think these are all great things to use. The you! I do want my daughter to understand how to say no though when something doesn't feel right but also to respect authority when necessary. How do you balance all of that?

Quoting GoodyBrook:

We don't tend to use he word "no" in our house.  If the biggie is rough with the baby, we'll just say, "Gentle to Baby, please!"  If he starts to throw a rock into the street, we'll encourage him to throw it into the ditch instead.  If he wants another banana, we'll say "Do you really think that's a good idea, or should we have dinner instead?" 


It's not pefect.  He's 2.5 and we're still learning!


 

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