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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

I need help deciding what to do about running errands with little kids.

Posted by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 8:00 PM
  • 34 Replies

 I used to not let having kids stop me from running the errands I need to run, or doing things I enjoyed (taking them to the park, LLL meetings, etc), but over the last year or two I've noticed I have been avoiding it more and more.  Tonight I decided I would go run my errands with them because it couldn't be as bad as I remember... it was.

I can take them to do ONE thing.  Only one.  More than that and there is inevitably a fit.  I end up having to come straight out and say no and they start crying loudly and I have to leave, for example.  Either that or I burn out because it is constant "can we have..." running away from me, trying to grab stuff... I cannot look away from them for one second or they're in the next aisle, or causing trouble somewhere.

Its mostly my 3 year old son.  My 5 year old daughter knows better for the most part.  I know this is normal 3 year old behavior, but I HAVE to be able to pay the rent AND grocery shop in the same day sometimes.  Going out with both kids by myself is a nightmare EVERY time, and so things like getting the oil changed in my car have to wait until my husband can come with me or stay with the kids, and honestly that's a huge hassle by itself lol.  Its keeping us all cooped up at home and miserable and none of us like it... but I can't seem to make a trip out with both kids a pleasant experience no matter what I do or where we go.  We end up back in the car with one of us crying.

Its so frustrating and I know he (and they, really) need to learn to behave in public, but I just don't know where to start or what to do.

What are your tips for keeping kids well mannered and not running around like maniacs when you take them out?

by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 8:00 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AtiFreeFalls
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 8:42 PM

 I don't usually bump my own posts, but this got crammed down to the second page already and I really do need help.  So...

BUMP.

comptonkids
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 8:48 PM
I'm sorry, I'm not much help
I typically go when my 5&6 yr old are in school

I absolutely cannot stand when dh wants to make grocery shopping a family affair, THAT'S when I lose it

I had no real problems taking 2-3 out at a time


What if you bribed them? If they do, or don't do xyz, you will take them to the park, or they can pick out something at check out?

polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 8:49 PM
Start by taking one out at a time. Right now I'm adjusting to a third kid and when I go out I try to only bring two of them. I do most everything while the oldest is in school for two and half hours, when DH can come with me, or at night after the older two go to bed. Fortunately by the time the weather gets warm enough for outdoor fun the baby will be bigger and ds will be older and hopefully behave better.
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AtiFreeFalls
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 8:55 PM

 When I only take one kid everything is fine.  There is something about having both of them there that makes us all crazy lol. 

I would do my shopping and such while my daughter is in school, but I babysit, and that child is always either eating or sleeping it seems.  He gets here at 7:45, has breakfast, takes a 3 hour nap, has lunch then my daughter is home from kindergarten.  Plus taking someone else's kid grocery shopping or whatever is not going to make things any easier lol.

I just feel like as their mother I should be able to handle having both of them with me for most things.

Quoting polkaspots: Start by taking one out at a time. Right now I'm adjusting to a third kid and when I go out I try to only bring two of them. I do most everything while the oldest is in school for two and half hours, when DH can come with me, or at night after the older two go to bed. Fortunately by the time the weather gets warm enough for outdoor fun the baby will be bigger and ds will be older and hopefully behave better.

 

micheledo
by Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 8:59 PM

Um, . . .


. . . just do it?!?!  :D



Seriously, it is just going to take practice.  And it does get easier.  I was super proud of myself last week - went to the grocery store AND another store with my six (almost 8 at the time, 6 1/2, 5, 4, almost 2, and 5 months).  It went suprisingly well though it has been much more difficult when I had less and they were younger.  

ONE TIME I actually left my groceries behind and walked out of the store.  I had two kids (maybe three) at that point.  They LOVE going to the grocery store and I had told them that they must listen and stay near me.  If they didn't obey we would leave.  And that day we did!!  The next several times I actually reminded them about the day we left early and that they needed to follow instructions.  They did much better after that (though it was a PAIN for me!).  

They also do better when it is not quick stops - in and out of the van.  Also adding in a small treat - LOOKING at the toy aisle if they do well while I get what I need to at the store.  Cookie at the grocery store (sometimes I backtrack and they get it near the end of the trip IF they have been good - our bakery gives kids a free one).  Stuff like that.

And, to be honest, we run a lot of errands when my husband can be with us.  :)  

polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 9:00 PM
I know what you mean. I have three kids now but I've never taken them all out of the house at once for more than the walk to school to drop off my oldest. You could go out during the kid's nap. For me it's really easy to do most things at night. My grocery store closes at midnight and bedtimes are eight and nine. I wear the baby on my chest, either put the two year old in the stroller or have him walk and my four year old walks.

Quoting AtiFreeFalls:

 When I only take one kid everything is fine.  There is something about having both of them there that makes us all crazy lol. 

I would do my shopping and such while my daughter is in school, but I babysit, and that child is always either eating or sleeping it seems.  He gets here at 7:45, has breakfast, takes a 3 hour nap, has lunch then my daughter is home from kindergarten.  Plus taking someone else's kid grocery shopping or whatever is not going to make things any easier lol.

I just feel like as their mother I should be able to handle having both of them with me for most things.


Quoting polkaspots: Start by taking one out at a time. Right now I'm adjusting to a third kid and when I go out I try to only bring two of them. I do most everything while the oldest is in school for two and half hours, when DH can come with me, or at night after the older two go to bed. Fortunately by the time the weather gets warm enough for outdoor fun the baby will be bigger and ds will be older and hopefully behave better.

 

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Lax5
by on Jan. 18, 2014 at 9:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I used to run errands and do grocery shopping with not only my own kids but my daycare kids. If you keep them engaged and talk the whole time about what you are doing or getting it can be a real learning experience. We would pick out letters, shapes, numbers. I would ask them to get me something off the shelf etc... Make it fun!
zandizane
by Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 9:08 PM
1 mom liked this
I grocery shop with all 4 of mine. The rule is: one hand on the cart at all times. No exceptions. My 4yr old dd forgets alot and ends up sitting in the cart which she hates. I also bribe them with hot wheels if they're good lol.
AtiFreeFalls
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 9:49 PM

 Haha, I like your style. 

I know that they need practice and they won't get better until I teach them better.  I hate feeling on the brink of screaming or tears while I'm trying to get something done, though. 

Quoting micheledo:

Um, . . .

 

. . . just do it?!?!  :D

 

 

Seriously, it is just going to take practice.  And it does get easier.  I was super proud of myself last week - went to the grocery store AND another store with my six (almost 8 at the time, 6 1/2, 5, 4, almost 2, and 5 months).  It went suprisingly well though it has been much more difficult when I had less and they were younger.  

ONE TIME I actually left my groceries behind and walked out of the store.  I had two kids (maybe three) at that point.  They LOVE going to the grocery store and I had told them that they must listen and stay near me.  If they didn't obey we would leave.  And that day we did!!  The next several times I actually reminded them about the day we left early and that they needed to follow instructions.  They did much better after that (though it was a PAIN for me!).  

They also do better when it is not quick stops - in and out of the van.  Also adding in a small treat - LOOKING at the toy aisle if they do well while I get what I need to at the store.  Cookie at the grocery store (sometimes I backtrack and they get it near the end of the trip IF they have been good - our bakery gives kids a free one).  Stuff like that.

And, to be honest, we run a lot of errands when my husband can be with us.  :)  

 

micheledo
by Member on Jan. 18, 2014 at 9:54 PM

Plan your errands!  For example:

My little ones do better in the morning and get grouchier later in the afternoon.  So better to go in the morning.

Also, I am worn out after the grocery store, so better to do any quick stop (paying rent) first.  Then we will be DONE after the grocery store.

Nothing wrong with a treat for exceptional behavior - movie when they get home, piece of candy, etc.  But it would HAVE to be exceptional.  Set them up to earn the treat.  Maybe run a quick trip to the grocery store (not all your shopping) and go over the rules with them before you go in.

That reminds me - going over my expectiations for them before we got in the store helped A TON!!

If I think of other things I will add to this.  :)

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