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processing your birth

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 11:41 AM
  • 18 Replies

I have given birth 5 times, each time was different and usually I basically just gave birth and moved on til I was pregnant again THEN I thought abuot past birth.  THIS time however I have really been processing and thinking it over more and more.  This was my only natural birth, only homebirth.  It was a pretty good experience honestly, much better than any of my past births.  But I keep going over hmm I wonder if I couldve stayed in the birth pool and actually found a way to successfully push..I tried for an hour and then got out and pushed 3 times and he was out.  I wonder if I shouldve had my CNM hold back the cervical lip or if I shouldve pushed past it myself or just waited would it have gone away on its own.  I wish I had given birth in my livivng room like I had first planned, the room was so small once the tub was in there and everyone else. SIGH. Anyone else still processing? how oldis your baby? was it a good experience or a bad one?

by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 11:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
monalisasus
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:17 PM
Like you I'm processing mine only because I am 34 weeks now. My first birth was a homebirth and really long and tons of back labor. It went well where I feel good about it, but I defiantly learned from it. Hindsight is so clear lol. I wish I would have gotten out of the tub more, changed positions more, and had a doula since it was my first. I should have done spinning babies way before my birth because baby was face up and stuck wonky in transition for five hours.. But the seridipidious part of life is it all worked fine and my mom just met a baby chiro the week before that fixed dds feeding issues. I think going through such a tough labor is setting me up for a better one this time.... Hopefully. I am just happy I worked with a women who spoke all about homebirth or I would have never known it existed
caligirl7613
by Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 2:43 PM
i am not coming to terms with this birth at all. my last 2 were somewhat natural hospital births (no pit, no epi) and they happened so fast the drs etc literally had no time to push interventions. for that i am thankful even though the labors were not calm and peaceful like i hear about so many being. they involed alot of screaming, cussing and just plain not handeling pain well at all but i was still pretty happy with the way they turned out (my labors) because i was able to have an epi\drug free birth....this birth i have extensively thought about, planned, researched,toured 3 hospitals etc and its the only one where i have felt apprehensive about labor...the only one where i have felt scared i may not be able to birth the way i want...well i already cant birth at home in this state which is what i really wanted, but i was super confident about birthing naturally in the hospital especially since the hospital and OB i chose really encourages that, but the closer the EDD gets, the more scared i become that it will not go the way i plan, that i will end up with an "emergency c section" which i am absolutely terrified of happening.
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hapababies
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2014 at 10:26 PM
I sometimes over process my first son's birth because I let my doctor run the show :(
With my second son, I only over process the part when I was getting close to transition. I felt like I needed to stand, but couldn't find anything to lean on that felt right.
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JadeTigr7
by on Feb. 5, 2014 at 10:46 PM

I don't process my homebirths, but I am still trying to process, and move past my 2nd and 3rd births.

They left me with trauma, panic attacks, and issues. 

LaideBug
by Bronze Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 12:27 AM
I continually process my first. She just turned 5. There was so much about it that could have been a little better had I been more knowledgeable or had a better doctor and med staff. It was just an unruly terrifying expirence that could have been handled much better.
jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Feb. 6, 2014 at 2:03 AM
My first was less than perfect, and there are a few things I'd alter now. My second was amazing, but I could easily list the 'should haves,' but it rocked and I'm just thankful for the experience.
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littlemonaghan
by on Feb. 6, 2014 at 5:27 AM
I am but because it was spectacular. Only bad thing was my 2nd degree tear but her birth was amazing.

My gira daughters birth was horrible and traumatizing...Seren's birth wiped the slate clean and gave back all the believe I had about my body's abilities.

Before I had Maeve (my first) I knew how amazing my body was and what it could do...then after she was born I was traumatized and my spirit was broken.
I look at Seren and remember every second of her labor/birth and I feel empowered again
tabi_cat1023
by Tabi - Admin on Feb. 6, 2014 at 8:30 AM

My first was traumatic, but its like I moved past it fast maybe becuase of the trauma.  My 2nd was healing in that the doctor respected me and treated me like a human being..it was still medicated and stuff but it was by choice.  My 3rd was perfect and my 4th was kinda scary and a letdown becuase I wanted to use no meds and that didnt work out.  This one was my homebirth and really physically was the hardest to recover from, I ached for almost a month afterwards.  Emotionally I was on a high for months and that was great though.

Sarah725
by on Feb. 6, 2014 at 10:19 AM

 I process each one still in my mind, even more so that I'm pregnant again now.

AubryJ
by on Feb. 6, 2014 at 3:08 PM

I'm still processing it all. My youngest will be 8 month old tomorrow. It was a bad experience. It was traumatic even for my midwife. She should have checked me but opted not too. My cervix was swollen because I was pushing against my cervical lip. I wish no one would have coached me into pushing when I didn't feel the urge to push. He required resuscitation and subsequently a hospital transfer. I've always opted just not to talk about it because not dealing with it is easier than reliving it. Everything leading up to the last hour was great and went down hill quickly. What's worse was the police investigation. They took my son by ambulance (wouldn't let us go together) and I had police officers in my bedroom and throughout my house photographing as I tried to deliver the placenta. That pisses me off more than anything. Homebirth is completely legal in my state and they had no justification to be in my home. They stayed despite being asked to leave and even refused to leave my bedroom despite my pleas. 

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