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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

no touch policy

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 6:42 PM
  • 18 Replies
1 mom liked this
So, ny friends and I are doing a booj study on "Grace Based Parenting". This last chapter was on hope. The author mentioned how we respond to our children, from the.beginning even, can help our children become hopeful or hopeless. For instance as a child they rely on us for every need, they are completely helpless, and if we meet their needs we are creating a hope in them, but if we dont meet their needs early on it can cause hopelessness. He says a lot more about this topic in older children and teens.

Anyways, in our discussion it led to preschool and school age children. One friend mentioned that she is friends with a guy that os on the head of head start california (government run preschool program). He said it was one of the worse jobs ever. He said that sad part was that these children (3,4yrs old) could not be held, hugged ot touched in that sort of way. Some children would be so upset that they would ve throwing themselves and hurting themselves and there was nothing anyone could do about it. I noticed that seems to be the same in public schools. Children cant hug eachother. I can see why in a way, but it saddens me. My children are homeschooled, they are very affectionate with everyone, doesnt matter what age. My 7 yr old hugs everyone pretty much (not so much my 5 and 3 yr old). I noticed at parks he will try and give a goodbye hug to his cousins, or maybe a friend that they had played with, and it seems strange to others, but second nature to him.

Also, doctors and nurses arent allowed to hug patients. My friend was a nurse and she said she remembered a depressed patienr trying to hug her, but she couldnt. Imo, touch heals, it can also be a tool to hurt, but I dont think it's necessary to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Do you?
by on Mar. 7, 2014 at 6:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
norwgnwood
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 6:45 PM
I work at a treatment facility for at risk youth in NC. We can do "side hugs."
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norwgnwood
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 6:47 PM
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I agree with you, touch heals. Its sad we can't really hug our clients. We want to and they need it!!!
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Precious333
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 6:54 PM
That's better then nothing.

Quoting norwgnwood: I work at a treatment facility for at risk youth in NC. We can do "side hugs."
norwgnwood
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 6:57 PM
Sometimes we get around the rule depending on the situation. I had one client that was assaulting staff. He was trying to push by us and get away but I really felt like if he wanted to hurt us he could and he wasn't really trying. On one of his attempts to push past I just hugged him and he collapsed in my arms. I lowered us to the ground and he cried in my lap as I rubbed his back. It was a feel good moment.

Quoting Precious333: That's better then nothing.

Quoting norwgnwood: I work at a treatment facility for at risk youth in NC. We can do "side hugs."
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Precious333
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 7:02 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh my goodness! Poor guy, and glad you responded the way you did. That brings tears to my eyes.

Quoting norwgnwood: Sometimes we get around the rule depending on the situation. I had one client that was assaulting staff. He was trying to push by us and get away but I really felt like if he wanted to hurt us he could and he wasn't really trying. On one of his attempts to push past I just hugged him and he collapsed in my arms. I lowered us to the ground and he cried in my lap as I rubbed his back. It was a feel good moment.

Quoting Precious333: That's better then nothing.

Quoting norwgnwood: I work at a treatment facility for at risk youth in NC. We can do "side hugs."
norwgnwood
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 7:08 PM
1 mom liked this
He's one of my favorite kids. I'm glad I was there for him.

Quoting Precious333: Oh my goodness! Poor guy, and glad you responded the way you did. That brings tears to my eyes.

Quoting norwgnwood: Sometimes we get around the rule depending on the situation. I had one client that was assaulting staff. He was trying to push by us and get away but I really felt like if he wanted to hurt us he could and he wasn't really trying. On one of his attempts to push past I just hugged him and he collapsed in my arms. I lowered us to the ground and he cried in my lap as I rubbed his back. It was a feel good moment.

Quoting Precious333: That's better then nothing.

Quoting norwgnwood: I work at a treatment facility for at risk youth in NC. We can do "side hugs."
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Precious333
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 7:23 PM
1 mom liked this
Still touched by that story!

Quoting norwgnwood: He's one of my favorite kids. I'm glad I was there for him.

Quoting Precious333: Oh my goodness! Poor guy, and glad you responded the way you did. That brings tears to my eyes.

Quoting norwgnwood: Sometimes we get around the rule depending on the situation. I had one client that was assaulting staff. He was trying to push by us and get away but I really felt like if he wanted to hurt us he could and he wasn't really trying. On one of his attempts to push past I just hugged him and he collapsed in my arms. I lowered us to the ground and he cried in my lap as I rubbed his back. It was a feel good moment.

Quoting Precious333: That's better then nothing.

Quoting norwgnwood: I work at a treatment facility for at risk youth in NC. We can do "side hugs."
jconney80
by Group Mod on Mar. 7, 2014 at 9:09 PM

Touch can be so important! Touch and hugs gets my kids out of their overwhelmed meltdowns sometimes. And they do use touch in public school except they call it restraint when a child with disabilities is out of control. That is sad and disturbing. They can slam them on the ground and throw them in a dark box but can't give them the deep pressure they might need to calm down. So sad

Precious333
by Gold Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 10:22 PM
So sad! My brother has special needs, one reason my mom started homeschooling, she didnt feel he would he safe in a classroom.

Quoting jconney80:

Touch can be so important! Touch and hugs gets my kids out of their overwhelmed meltdowns sometimes. And they do use touch in public school except they call it restraint when a child with disabilities is out of control. That is sad and disturbing. They can slam them on the ground and throw them in a dark box but can't give them the deep pressure they might need to calm down. So sad

monalisasus
by Bronze Member on Mar. 7, 2014 at 11:22 PM
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My dd hugs kids goodbye to everyone too.. I know the look other kids give since they are uncomfortable. I worked in a kindergarten classroom in a public school and I guess I had a cool teacher because touching in loving ways was not an issue. There was this one boy in particular who's mom did drugs while pregnant so he had a lot of problems but to sit still he wanted to sit on my lap and was calmed by being held. In both the kindergarten and second grade classrooms I've been in we were allowed to hug. I mean the kids would hug me and I can't push that away. I even saw my cooperating teachers do it. The naughtiest kids needed the most hugs. But I can see how are scary world makes it not possible.
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