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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Do you believe in potty training/learning?

Posted by on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:42 AM
  • 28 Replies

I just found out my cousin who is 4 is not even remotely using the potty.  Still fully in diapers.  My son is 3 months younger and fully using the bathroom, all my kids have been trained by around 3-3.5.  I know in daycares they require age 3 unless special needs and PreK requires it at 4.  She cant attend PreK this fall because my aunt refuses and says she will learn when she is ready.  Do you think kids will learn when they are ready or is it something you show them.  Of course whether they will go on their own and stay dry at night is all on them...and I dont punish for potty accidents, but I show them how to go potty, even set alarms to show them how often they need to go at first.  My aunt says that isnt right.

by on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:42 AM
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SlapItHigh
by on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:47 AM
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What you are doing sounds reasonable.  I do believe in teaching kids to use the potty....I just don't agree with pushing it.  A lot of kids don't need to be taught with verbal instruction, they just pick up on it from watching others.  I do think kids will just do it on their own when they are ready but often they are ready before they can really manage it on their own on a daily basis.  In those cases, reminders (even if you need to set alarms) are very helpful.  Otherwise, kids can hold it because they don't want to stop playing and that causes problems.

My kids really pick up on it on their own and don't need much instruction at all.  Some kids need more help.  Some kids don't learn until much older.  My nephew was in diapers until nearly 5 but was diagnosed with an auditory processing disorder so sometimes there are other issues going on that might delay the process.

greenlove2013
by Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:47 AM
Gross. That child needs to use the potty
SlapItHigh
by on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:48 AM

But just to address your Aunt specifically -- she should NOT be telling you that what you are doing isn't right!!!  She's wrong to say that!  Nothing wrong with what you are doing!

JadeTigr7
by Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:50 AM

I do not train my children.  I show them how, and I remind them to use the potty during the day, and all of mine have done it eventually.

My middle dd didn't start using the potty until after she turned 4, but I can't *make* her use it and I wasn't going to fight her.   

jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:54 AM
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I believe children learn when they're ready. They also learn to walk, talk, and read when they're ready. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't show or encourage them, that's our duty. Encouraging and teaching are different than forcing. And maybe I'm misunderstanding your aunt, but just waiting for him to figure it out himself is a bad idea, no one learns anything that way- that's why we have education. I did not just wake up one day and said "ok! I know everything about driving now!" Nope, I was educated and trained. I'm worried, if this is her philosophy and parenting style, that he could be very stunted in the future.
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jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:57 AM
And btw, I'm doing what you're doing. I showed her the potty and showed her how to use it. She's in panties at home and goes potty the vast majority of the time in her potty. And she's proud, and encouraged, and this happened way sooner than I expected. And stress free.
Biggie took a lot longer to train. A LOT longer, she was no where near this close at this age. She was also encouraged, not pushed, and not stressed. And she figured it out- with help and at her own pace.
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BabyPink07
by Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:03 PM
There's a difference between supplying the knowledge and encouragement, and forcing them. Ultimately a child will go when ready, but no harm in encouragement! I think what your aunt is doing is allowing them to be lazy! Why stop playing when mommy will change it later is what she is teaching her. Why would you get up and do something for yourself if you have someone to do it for you.
amazzonia
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:18 PM

that's gross...it's different from walking and talking, because those are things that are natural things that no matter what they will come...using the toilet it's a men made rule, all animals make sounds with their voice, all animals walk and eat when ready, but we are the only ones using the toilet, because we are the only "civilized" and we know that it's best to poop and pee in one spot mostly for hygiene purposes, therefore YOU MUST teach a child to use the potty

larissalarie
by Gold Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 12:55 PM
I forced potty training with my oldest (at 18 months), that's when I learned you have to wait until they're ready. She took forever and there were many accidents. The next two potty trained easily without accidents day or overnight when they were ready at age 2.
Your aunt is taking a truth and twisting it into ridiculousness. Yes you should wait until they're ready, but that isn't the same as waiting until they figure it out and teach themselves. The same thing could be said of reading: forcing it early is counterproductive and will be frustrating for everyone. But that doesn't mean you NEVER teach your child to read and expect that someday they'll know how.
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joyful_mama
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 2:45 PM
We don't push it ever. I do think my nearly 3yo needs some encouragement though but to be honest I don't have the energy right now. He does use the pot sometimes but most often not.
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