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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

How do I distance myself from my mom.

Posted by on Apr. 21, 2014 at 9:58 PM
  • 14 Replies

I'm trying to be as stress free as possible during this pregnancy. One of the major stressers is my mother. She lives 15 minutes away, works 5 minutes away, has to know almost everything that's going on in my life, calls me almost daily, and will randomly stop by. How in the world do I distance myself from her? How do I let go of this stress? 

by on Apr. 21, 2014 at 9:58 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Precious333
by Gold Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 11:23 PM
That's tuff! Can you gently ask her to not make surprise visits? The only way I can see to do it is to be direct.
tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Apr. 22, 2014 at 12:12 AM

My mom is the EXACT same way.  I finally had to tell her she was stressing me out and my baby needed me less stressed, that I would contact her but please let me back off a bit.  I proved this to her by making sure to call/contact her once a week with updates.

tabi_cat1023
by Group Mod - Tabitha on Apr. 22, 2014 at 12:12 AM

btw my therapist in college refused to see me anymore if I didnt stop contact with my mom!

jellyphish
by Platinum Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 3:07 AM
I agree with the direct, honest but brutal, approach. Sometimes you just gotta put the smack down and put mom back in her place; it definitely sounds like she's over steeping boundaries and needs a reminder.
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JoJoBean8
by Group Mod on Apr. 22, 2014 at 9:46 AM

My mil does that too. We have stopped answering her calls. We have a screened in porch so we keep that door locked so she can't come to the door. 

Sarah725
by Group Mod - Sarah on Apr. 22, 2014 at 12:21 PM

How does she cause you stress?

Sarah725
by Group Mod - Sarah on Apr. 22, 2014 at 12:23 PM

I guess being honest is the best way.

finnbar
by on Apr. 22, 2014 at 12:34 PM
Stop telling her all the details.
Don't answer the phone all the time.
Lock your door and do not open it.

She is in your space because you allow her to be
somuchlove4U
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 12:54 PM

She opens her mouth. lol That's the best way I can describe it. She can be very negative about everything. I have yet to be able to stop that from bothering me. I was good for a while, but I lived on the other side of the world. So I didn't have to hear her crap. I've lost control of the situations and I don't know how to put up those boundaries that I had up at one time. 

Quoting Sarah725:

How does she cause you stress?


Precious333
by Gold Member on Apr. 22, 2014 at 12:56 PM
Lol, sorry i find that hilarious! I love my mom, we get along, but she stresses me out too.

Quoting tabi_cat1023:

btw my therapist in college refused to see me anymore if I didnt stop contact with my mom!

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