Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Feeling violated :,(

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:09 PM
  • 21 Replies
Please no bashing. I have to get this off my chest and this is the only place I feel comfortable saying it....

I'm currently tandem nursing my DS2months & my DD27months. I'm struggling nursing my DD daily. She screams "boobie" over and over. Yanks at my shirt, hits, kicks, bites. She's wonderful with her brother and other siblings. She just started this behavior 2wks ago. Last night she woke me 10x to nurse. I'm exhausted & feel like a terrible mother, because the thought of nursing her makes my skin crawl. I love her so much!! But physically I feel violated!!
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:09 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
allycally
by New Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:13 PM
Is she 2 and the baby 2 months.ive never tandem nursed but maybe she's feeling jealous.i set some time aside to do something new with her that is comforting
cailliermommy
by Member on Jul. 30, 2014 at 1:43 PM
Yes she's 2 & DS is 2months. I've got special time for mommy & child time everyday. I have four children. I think she's jealous, but I've made it a big deal that everyone gets special time from the time my second child was born. I'm just so stressed :-/ Thank you for your advice.

Quoting allycally: Is she 2 and the baby 2 months.ive never tandem nursed but maybe she's feeling jealous.i set some time aside to do something new with her that is comforting
larissalarie
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 5:34 PM
7 moms liked this
Well nursing doesn't somehow excuse nasty behavior. You need to at the very least insist that she treats you nicely or no nursing. She'll keep pulling your shirt, hitting, biting, etc as long as you allow it, there's no magical way to make her behave nicely, you have to teach her. It'll be hard and she'll probably resist, but you'll have to be firm if you don't want an out of control toddler bullying you.
As to the rest of it, maybe it's time to night wean? Once you do that and correct her mean behavior, you can see how you feel. If you're still feeling overwhelmed, limit her nursing to only specific times for specific durations.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
jjchick75
by Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 1:07 AM
This.

Quoting larissalarie: Well nursing doesn't somehow excuse nasty behavior. You need to at the very least insist that she treats you nicely or no nursing. She'll keep pulling your shirt, hitting, biting, etc as long as you allow it, there's no magical way to make her behave nicely, you have to teach her. It'll be hard and she'll probably resist, but you'll have to be firm if you don't want an out of control toddler bullying you. As to the rest of it, maybe it's time to night wean? Once you do that and correct her mean behavior, you can see how you feel. If you're still feeling overwhelmed, limit her nursing to only specific times for specific durations.
graycalico
by Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 1:28 AM
I relate totally. My son will be 3 in September, my daughter is 14 months. Both still nurse. It's a little complicated since my son has special needs too. Sometimes I wish he'd start self weaning and other times I'm so grateful I still have the power of booba to stop a meltdown. Lol
cailliermommy
by Member on Jul. 31, 2014 at 3:18 PM
Now I don't feel so alone. Is it affecting you and your SO relationship?? Because the thought of my DH even touching me causes an anxiety attack.

Quoting graycalico: I relate totally. My son will be 3 in September, my daughter is 14 months. Both still nurse. It's a little complicated since my son has special needs too. Sometimes I wish he'd start self weaning and other times I'm so grateful I still have the power of booba to stop a meltdown. Lol
mcwebtex
by Member on Aug. 1, 2014 at 11:15 AM

Tell her what my friend told her almost 3 year old. "Its time we talk' "Your a big girl now, and its time to stop nursing.' Replace yourself with a bottle if she will drink it, if not just let her know, her time is up.
He accepted that answer very well. If you just get agrivated and keep giving her her way she will never give up, but if you help her understand time is up, she may not like it at first, but she will learn to accept it.
Dont give in, just give her a boppy when she cries and if she has a fit, either discipline her for her behavior or just put your tail between your leg and walk away, closing the door. She will work it out!

WillowRose24
by New Member on Aug. 1, 2014 at 3:20 PM

Wean her. For God sake when the kid can ask (or in your case... demand) for a "boobie" Then C'mon now... They are to old to be nursing.

AubryJ
by on Aug. 1, 2014 at 10:41 PM

Set boundaries. It helped me tons when tandem nursing my now three year old and one year old boys.

cailliermommy
by Member on Aug. 2, 2014 at 10:29 AM
I have always taught nursing manners. But she has completely thrown those out the windrow. We are night weaning. It's going great.

Quoting larissalarie: Well nursing doesn't somehow excuse nasty behavior. You need to at the very least insist that she treats you nicely or no nursing. She'll keep pulling your shirt, hitting, biting, etc as long as you allow it, there's no magical way to make her behave nicely, you have to teach her. It'll be hard and she'll probably resist, but you'll have to be firm if you don't want an out of control toddler bullying you. As to the rest of it, maybe it's time to night wean? Once you do that and correct her mean behavior, you can see how you feel. If you're still feeling overwhelmed, limit her nursing to only specific times for specific durations.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN