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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Hoping someone here understands

Posted by on Aug. 15, 2014 at 4:12 PM
  • 22 Replies

Keep in mind Im 37 weeks pregnant and super emotional, haha. 


Ive had three natural births. Im not sure if this makes sense to anyone but my thoughts and feelings and values on what I put into my body, natural births, bonding, nature....its all more of my beliefs than it is just my thoughts on it. Not my RELIGION obviously but I live by these values every day. I really believe in the body's ability to heal itself blah blah blah I wont bore you. 

I just found out I need a c-section. I went from not even seeing an OB for the whole nine months, and planning a birth at a healing center with my midwife to being rushed to a specialist. Baby is in a very tangled up breech position and probably stuck there. I tried spinning babies and it made it much worse. Her head is bulging out between my ribs and my hip, shes oblique with one leg up behind her head/face and the other is crossed over and straight down into my vagina. I have three hour labors and Im an hour and a half from the hospital, otherwise I would have options to wait until labor started, try to deliver breech ect. They cant do an external version because of the risk of breaking her legs. OB doesn't want me to try things like long walks to help her flip because a long walk could start labor. 

Anxiety about surgery and stuff aside, Im just devestated at the thought of her being taken away after I get a peek over a damn curtain. I asked if I could have her right away and her not go anywhere and he told me no one can force me to do anything I dont want to, is that true? I cant see them being very lax about surgical procedures, I had to fight for a glass of apple juice during my last natural labor for gods sake! I just have a few questions for anyone who has had a c section. 

Are your arms numb? My friend told me she was numb from the neck down, I DO NOT want this at all!! Is that from a spinal, and could choosing an epidural mean I have mobility in my arms, or was that just a bad spinal? Do I have any hope in delayed cord clamping? I do not want her washed and handled by 5 people before she meets me and prepackaged like a little McBaby. I had a very difficult time bonding with my second son, its something that im ashamed of and brings a lot of guilt. Its not something I have talked to my DH about or any friends and Im scared of it happening again.  

I KNOW this is best for baby thats why I made the appointment. This is all just very new to me, I dont know anything about it and Im worried. Any stories of your c sections are very welcome, thanks for reading all of this. 

by on Aug. 15, 2014 at 4:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
melindabelcher
by on Aug. 15, 2014 at 4:19 PM

Can you look into a family centered c-section?

Sounds like a c-section is the safest option for both of you. 

An epidural allows your hands to be free to hold baby right after. 

Many things will be out of your control unfortunately. Like the baby will be taken to the warmer for cleaning and getting all the measurements and assessments. 

I would schedule an appointment with the OB asap so you can discuss your concerns and make a plan that both of you would be happy with 

AV3
by New Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 4:26 PM


Quoting melindabelcher:

Can you look into a family centered c-section?

Sounds like a c-section is the safest option for both of you. 

An epidural allows your hands to be free to hold baby right after. 

Many things will be out of your control unfortunately. Like the baby will be taken to the warmer for cleaning and getting all the measurements and assessments. 

I would schedule an appointment with the OB asap so you can discuss your concerns and make a plan that both of you would be happy with 

So with the spinal your arms are numb? Spinal sounds like better pain coverage than an epidural. Ive read about gentle or family centered c sections but I only have 13 days and one more appointment with the OB, I live in Canada im not sure if that makes a difference. 

I had the appointment with him yesterday. I was crying/trying not to cry so I didnt have a chance to ask ALL my questions but I did say I did not want her washed or taken anywhere, and he said certainly and no one could force anything on me I didnt want. It almost sounds too good to be true so I hope he wasnt just saying that. 

I just keep bawling randomly about it when Im not even expecting to, I dont know why I just keep chalking it up to hormones. 

melindabelcher
by on Aug. 15, 2014 at 4:31 PM

((hugs)) 

I would sit down and try to put your birth plan on paper. This way you can go through it point by point with your provider. A great thing is you know who and when they will be doing your c-section. I would even consider booking an extra appointment as a consult style to have the time and mind set to get through your birth plan. 

Google search c-section birth plans

MamaBearEH
by Bronze Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 8:59 PM

I'm so sorry you have to go through that!

I'm in Canada too, and the practices can vary.  Most hospitals where I am offer tours to expecting families.  If you can get in one of those for where your delivery is planned I'd recommend it.  Not only do you get to see the facility first hand, but you can ask the hospital staff about their specific practices/procedures.  You can also download information on the hospital's website, which might give you some basic information to start with.

One thing I would recommend requesting is to have your uterus stitched in two layers instead of one - particularly if you're going to have any more vaginal births.  There is a 4x higher risk of uterine rupture using the singe-layer method, as well as higher risk of complications in subsequent pregnancies (ie: placenta growing into or through the uterus where your scar is).  It does take them longer to do, but hey what's five more minutes in the OR versus potentially dying or never being able to have children vaginally again?!

AV3
by New Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 9:24 PM


Quoting MamaBearEH:

I'm so sorry you have to go through that!

I'm in Canada too, and the practices can vary.  Most hospitals where I am offer tours to expecting families.  If you can get in one of those for where your delivery is planned I'd recommend it.  Not only do you get to see the facility first hand, but you can ask the hospital staff about their specific practices/procedures.  You can also download information on the hospital's website, which might give you some basic information to start with.

One thing I would recommend requesting is to have your uterus stitched in two layers instead of one - particularly if you're going to have any more vaginal births.  There is a 4x higher risk of uterine rupture using the singe-layer method, as well as higher risk of complications in subsequent pregnancies (ie: placenta growing into or through the uterus where your scar is).  It does take them longer to do, but hey what's five more minutes in the OR versus potentially dying or never being able to have children vaginally again?!

I love the hospital tours and pre-register, Ive had babies in NB and AB and that was standard, here in SK they looked at me like I was nuts and asked if I was American, haha! You would think it would be standard to have it stitched in two layers :S we arent having any more children after this but still! And thanks for the advice <3 I wasnt sure if I was going to get bashed or what I feel kind of stupid being so upset by it

MamaBearEH
by Bronze Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 9:33 PM

Medically it would make more sense to have double-layer stitching standard, but single-layer is faster... that means they can make more money... sigh.  My doula had at least one of her babies in SK, I read the story in Birth Issues, and yah... they have some interesting practices.  Or at least they did when she was delivered there.  Can you call labour & delivery at least asking for some information?

And you got to do what you got to do.  Natural birth is not for everyone.  You're a great example of someone who the better choice is to have a c-section by the sounds of it.  Be proud that you're doing it for the right reasons.

Quoting AV3:

I love the hospital tours and pre-register, Ive had babies in NB and AB and that was standard, here in SK they looked at me like I was nuts and asked if I was American, haha! You would think it would be standard to have it stitched in two layers :S we arent having any more children after this but still! And thanks for the advice <3 I wasnt sure if I was going to get bashed or what I feel kind of stupid being so upset by it


GoldenLinds
by Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 9:55 PM
I think you have a good chance of getting your baby handed to you even with a c section. A lot kore doctors are aware of the needs of immediate skin to skin bonding for mom and baby. I dont know that delayed clamping is an option though just because of the c section. I dont know how it works but I would imagine there could be increased risks of hemmhorage due to the surgery. I think it sounds like your doctor is open to a lot of what you are wanting so I hope you are able to have a good conversation about it.
Ma2Liam
by New Member on Aug. 15, 2014 at 10:06 PM
I had a spinal and just from about my ribs down was numb. I could move and feel fine with my arms. Also ds was shown to me and then taken to the warmer to be cleaned, but the warmer was placed right above my head so I could see what was happening the whole time.
I have heard of many section ladies having immediate skin to skin with dads help, this would just need to be discussed prior to surgery and the hospitals policy.
Also I have never heard of delayed clamping during a section. The infection/bleeding risk of you sitting open waiting would over ride the delayed clamping.
Lastly I was wheeled back to my room quickly and would have had the option of immediatly holding ds had he not had breathing problems.

All this just needs to be discussed with your ob and hospital before surgery is done.
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AV3
by New Member on Aug. 16, 2014 at 2:22 PM

By delayed clamping (from what Ive read) I only mean while they extract the placenta and whatever else they do down there before they start stitching, not the best but better than nothing I suppose. That I can deal with its really the immediate contact Im worried about. 

I just want to say thank you all for your responses, its funny how just a few comments from strangers made me feel 100x better than the Hallmark card responses my friends and family have been giving me. 

SrkStrickland
by Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 8:52 PM

I feel the same way about c-sections and not having a natural birth. My first was an unecessary csection and the next 2 were traumatizing hospital births. So just the thought of going into the hospital again terrifies me. BUT I think in a circumstance such as yours I think I would be so afraid for the baby's safety that I would be ok with doing whatever necessary to get her here unharmed. I haven't heard of a case such as yours but I pray everything turns out well, which I'm sure it will! I agree with looking into different csection options. These ladies have suggested some wonderful options. Please keep us updated!!

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