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Potty training frustration!!!!!!

Posted by on Mar. 11, 2016 at 12:42 AM
  • 4 Replies
I am totally at a loss and I need some advice. Dd potty trained at 19 months. I never pushed her to potty train, we just put a potty in every room and left her bare bottomed and she pretty much did it all on her own! Now she is 2 1/2 and she is completely reversing. I just do not know what to do. I literally carry with me 10 pairs of panties and pants every day because she's so out of control. She definitely runs to the potty when we are at home, but has an accident about 60% of the time that is small, but still requires her panties changed. I nanny for my sister and we are at her house for 10'hours a day, and she's about 50/50 there - sometimes she runs to the bathroom and other times she just pees and doesn't even say anything!!!!! Ij public or in the car is even worse! I have washed the car seat cover so many times it is starting to fall apart now. Today she peed while we were just strolling around and didn't even tell me she had to go potty!! In the beginning I would tell her "no big deal, we'll fix you up" and the more frequent it got the more I emphasized that she needs to go potty right away. We sing the song, I ask her all the time if she needs to go, I am always praising her when she actually goes potty (even if she just has a little leak)! But not she'll just flat out pee her pants and then tell me "it's no big deal, it's okay."

Tonight she peed when we were still at my sister's house, I changed her, reminded her to listen to her body and go right away. We made sure we peed before we left her house. Then we went to the grocery store and she peed while we were shopping, and never said anything - I just suddenly saw the puddle and asked her if she peed and she said "yeah, I peed my pants, but it's okay."

When we got home I put the cloth diapers on her because I couldn't stand it. I thought she would hate it and be so miserable about being a baby again...and instead she loved it. She thought it was so fun. :(

I'm so so frustrated. Do I have to go back to diapers? Do I need to start over with potty training? I get so mad when this happens - especially after she's gone several times in a row (in public or at home) and then just pees a bucket of pee and doesn't say a word!!!!

Thanks in advance for all of your advice!
by on Mar. 11, 2016 at 12:42 AM
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Juniper53098
by June - admin on Mar. 11, 2016 at 9:53 AM

Did you put her in cute cloth diapers or plain old prefolds with plastic pants?  That's what I did with my youngest.  She started having accidents and not caring, so I told her I was going to have to put diapers back on her.  She got excited because she loved her cute cloth.  I told her, no, they would be prefolds and plastic pants.  All I had to do was buy a pack and put them on the changing table and she stopped.

Aleewink
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 10:10 AM
I did put her in the cute pocket diapers, it was just what I pulled out first, but I actually have some plain covers and prefolds already, so I will get that going and see if it helps! Good suggestion, thank you!

Quoting Juniper53098:

Did you put her in cute cloth diapers or plain old prefolds with plastic pants?  That's what I did with my youngest.  She started having accidents and not caring, so I told her I was going to have to put diapers back on her.  She got excited because she loved her cute cloth.  I told her, no, they would be prefolds and plastic pants.  All I had to do was buy a pack and put them on the changing table and she stopped.

MamaBearEH
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2016 at 9:49 PM
1 mom liked this

Kudos to you for being gentle about her having accidents, but perhaps this shows a need to reword things.  She's misunderstanding it's ok to not be perfect, to it's ok to pee herself.  I've had success with focusing on the good feeling from emptying your bladder in the potty/toilet, over the unpleasant feeling from soiling yourself.

Does she help with cleanup?  She can take off her wet panties, pants, wipe herself down, and even do the laundry.  Either by hand or in the machine with your help.

Is there by chance anything going on in your lives that might lessen your level of attentiveness to her?  So she'd want to behave in this way to get your attention?  Or perhaps to behave in this way to piss you off?

Aleewink
by Bronze Member on Mar. 14, 2016 at 1:34 AM
Oh, I have definitely been not nice about this through some of our rougher patches, and I never say that it's okay that she pees herself anymore. I do focus on the good when she makes it to the potty and tell her how proud I am that she listened to her body: and we have actually had that exact conversation several times about her feeling better after she goes pee than the feeling she has when she's holding pee in...it seems lost on her though, like she's agreeing with me but she doesn't know why. Lol.

The biggest life change that we have had is me working for my sister, watching my niece during the day. They are exactly 19 months apart and there have been many rough spots with having two kids that close on a daily basis. The thing that we struggle with the most there, and really the only thing that I get so mad about that I actually yell at her is that she is constantly picking up/moving the baby and hurting her in the process. I have tried EVERYTHING in that area and she just will not listen to me on that. It's the only thing that i can say we really struggle with, and maybe the peeing thing is subconcious rebellion against me? She never does it to make me mad, I'm sure of that.

Thank you for your help!

Quoting MamaBearEH:

Kudos to you for being gentle about her having accidents, but perhaps this shows a need to reword things.  She's misunderstanding it's ok to not be perfect, to it's ok to pee herself.  I've had success with focusing on the good feeling from emptying your bladder in the potty/toilet, over the unpleasant feeling from soiling yourself.

Does she help with cleanup?  She can take off her wet panties, pants, wipe herself down, and even do the laundry.  Either by hand or in the machine with your help.

Is there by chance anything going on in your lives that might lessen your level of attentiveness to her?  So she'd want to behave in this way to get your attention?  Or perhaps to behave in this way to piss you off?

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