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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

I just dont feel its right...

Posted by on Jan. 22, 2008 at 10:54 AM
  • 6 Replies
I have had 7 children 5 at the hospital with 3 being all natural & water births, 1 csection (for my twins) and 2 of my children i had pain meds but not epidural....
 My close friend is going to have her first baby on Feb 1st, she is being induced only because her husband is away and she wants him to be there in time her real due date is Feb 8th and she says if its taking too long she'll just go for the csection. I have told her my opinions and stories but she doesn't seem to care she just says she wants it to be pain free & quick as possible. It just doesn't seem right to me to rush the baby out and have all these interventions when nothing at all is needed, & most the time you have bad experiences and side effects from the meds that you recieve not to mention what you do to your baby, I also know that laying on your back all during your labor usually complicates things, i just dont know why she would choose to do it this way it and it kinda makes me sad.
How do you guys feel about this?
by on Jan. 22, 2008 at 10:54 AM
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Replies (1-6):
APMamaGretchen
by on Jan. 22, 2008 at 4:13 PM
Wow...not knowing her, I don't know what's going on in her life that is making her want to do something so hasty, but I agree with you, that is no way to handle something as big as your child's birth!! When a woman is having a baby, the priority should be what is healthiest and best for the baby, not what is easy and painless ( not to mention, there is no quick and painless way to have a baby anyway! It's delusional of her to even think that!) She isn't making good choices now, hopefully this isn't an indicator of how much of a priority her child will be in her life, because raising a child is not easy, quick, painless, or about what is most convinient for mommy, it's about the child. It sounds like you have told her everything you can, if she doesn't care, it's impossible to make her....but how sad for her baby. I had both of my children naturally, and it's an experience like no other, that she will be missing out on, not because she has to, but because she is being too selfish to care about what is best for her baby. I agree with you, it makes me sad, too.

~Gretchen
Tiffatoe
by on Jan. 22, 2008 at 6:01 PM
That is a sad trend that I notice with my friends, I even had one get induced over a week early because she was sick of being pregnant! I feel a baby will come when they are ready, for me it included one being 2wks late and 1 a wk late, but thats what my babies needed to be healthy.

 

 

doulala
by on Jan. 22, 2008 at 6:18 PM
Just because it's offered-approved-a trend doesn't make it "fine". But not everyone appreciates the benefits-- the reasons for letting the baby decide when to come. And how to come! It sounds awfully selfish to deprive her completely dependant fetus of it's last precious moments in the womb. Women have their reasons... as much as we might disagree, it's their own choice. I did allow a lifelong friendship to fade away over this. She was too agreeable for her 1st baby to become a cesarean and never blinked at a repeat. She had no interest in what's healthiest, safest, or best for the baby. She was hood-winked!! Bamboozled! But she didn't care. The more women that birth by convenience, the greater the numbers grow, then we see these massive amounts of inductions and cesareans and vulnerable women assume it must be a trend for the best. Your friend is not on the same path as you are. It's great to offer info, help however you can, but ultimately it is her responsibility. So is this a big enough topic to end a friendship over, or can you look past, or forgive her?
Dani41780
by on Jan. 24, 2008 at 2:57 PM
I agree 100%... but not everyone feels the way we do about birth.

 

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DessieX
by on Jan. 27, 2008 at 4:02 PM

It sounds like to me that you might consider being a little more supportive of her choices.  We all want people to support our choice of natural birth, even when they don't agree with it. 
The chances of anything going wrong with the baby is slim, even if she does get a c-section, and it is her birth.  If she genuinely feels that having her husband there is very important, and for the birth to be painless and, to her, ideal, then it works for her.  And her birth should work for her, should make her happy.
What if something does go wrong with the labor?  If your first thought is that she should have listened to you, instead of being worried and offering any support you can, then ma your anger is more about you being "right".

"I have told her my opinions and stories but she doesn't seem to care she just says she wants it to be pain free & quick as possible."

I'm sure she does care about your births, but caring does not equate agreeing.  The question is, if you can't persuade her to your opinion, will you stop being her friend?

ida123
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 9:28 PM


Quoting Dani41780:

I agree 100%... but not everyone feels the way we do about birth.


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