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Natural Birth & Parenting Natural Birth & Parenting

Side effects of after normal/vaginal delivery...?

Posted by on Jan. 24, 2008 at 6:51 PM
  • 36 Replies
I am pregnant with my first baby, so am really scared and nervous as my due date is approaching in April. My main concern is that I have heard and even had one of my aunt talk about this issue, which is you become really loose down there after having babies. My aunt says that her husband always tells her that she has become so loose down there and he doesn't like having sex with her, and it feels like that he is just doing it in open air. I was so shocked, she only has two kids, one is 13 and the other is 7.
I told my husband this and also that he should enjoy me as much as he could now because it might be changed and he may not like it much. But he says, that don't worry as it happens to every women, and he will deal with it. That makes me so sad.
So, I just wanted  moms to share their stories, and know if their husbands say the same. And is it true that it becomes looser than before (a lot or little)?
Also if moms can give me some support and good advice to keep myself strong and not scared as my due date approaches...

ThANKS In ADVANCE.
by on Jan. 24, 2008 at 6:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Banani263
by on Jan. 24, 2008 at 7:00 PM
Women's bodies are made to go back to "normal" but normal is of course different for everyone. I was also very afraid of being loose but i know atleast my womanly area ;) went back to being almost the same and now after my second it seems to have "snapped back" lol even faster. My only comical warning is that when your midwife tells you "lots of lube" for the first time after the baby... use some but don't overdo it. I was so afraid of pain and took the "lots" so much to heart that you couldn't feel a damn thing lol then i was even more afraid of feeling inadequate down there. I know my husband got scared too but would never make me feel worse. Luckily we realized our mistake and I was super relieved the next time. I wouldn't stress over it kegels can do wonders and I bought the kegel master to help too.
katiesmom123
by on Jan. 24, 2008 at 7:30 PM
1 mom liked this
dont worry about it, you can't have sex for 6 wks after... your husband will be glad he can finally just get some!  no just kidding, don't worry about it because you'll be just fine down there.  really.
EuroMomTX
by on Jan. 24, 2008 at 8:00 PM
1 mom liked this
It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway!






***
Just kidding.

For me it IS different now. It felt slightly painful for quite a long time. We have a different 'favorite position' now than we did before.
What actually bothered me more is the stress incontinence. A little sneeze and I would wet my pants. It's been getting better over time. I had a pretty rough pushing phase. It's different for everybody. I am considering surgery after my next baby to help with the incontinence.
I did Kegels before and after and still got it.

I am not trying to scare you but I wanted to give you an idea of what's normal (wide range) in case something unexpected happens to you.

You will be okay. Don't be scared. This baby will change you in ways you can't even imagine right now. The physical healing will be such a small aspect of it. :)

congrats!

doulala
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2008 at 11:21 AM
Women should go back to normal after a few weeks, maybe months. It depends on pelvic floor muscle strength. By doing Kegel exercizes now it will help with post-partum recovery (and with incontinence). Doing Kegels now also help for the birth! To learn about these exercises check this out: http://www.childbirth.org/articles/kegel.html --it will make a diffference~ good luck!
doulala
by Gold Member on Jan. 25, 2008 at 11:23 AM
Also, I have seen mamas who claim they're "tighter" now, since becoming a mom, too. (They're DH's tell them so!)
7aremyjoy
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this
I have had 7 children, and no problems getting back to normal after a couple of months.  With my first, the main issue was pain for me.  After about 6 months of being very careful, it finally began to subside. 

I think your aunt's husband is being emotionally abusive to be honest.  What kind of man would say something so cruel to his wife?  I think there is more going on there.  However, I don't think you should worry.

Libby
evasmamma
by on Jan. 25, 2008 at 12:30 PM

Quoting doulala:

Women should go back to normal after a few weeks, maybe months. It depends on pelvic floor muscle strength. By doing Kegel exercizes now it will help with post-partum recovery (and with incontinence). Doing Kegels now also help for the birth! To learn about these exercises check this out: http://www.childbirth.org/articles/kegel.html --it will make a diffference~ good luck!

I was going to suggest the same thing! And also the other post that doulala posted. My husband said it seems like I'm tighter now than before. Kegels work great, no matter if you're pregnant or not, every woman should do them =)

And if we can accept that a mother can kill her own child, how can we tell other people not to kill one another? ~Mother Teresa

One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
~Bob Marley

     

ob1rp.gif picture by evasmama
  
kaysun
by on Jan. 26, 2008 at 4:24 AM
yes you become a little bigger but it is only in a couple of cm, um no offence but maybe your uncle is just not that well endowed , a couple cm is not much, so it must be him not her. However, I have heard that having several different sexual partners kind of stretches thing down there, so that could be the case. I had 3 (big) babies and im fine, maybe a slight more roomy but it snot that noticeable. You can do kegels to help restore your vaginal muscles, so don't listen to that crazy aunt of yours, omg why would she in her right mind say something like that to you, you are worrying needlessly you'll be fine. Look at how many women have multiple births and are still going strong, my cousin had 6 and still counting i think (some religious thing-no bc ect) and well she and her husband are still making babies so it must not be to bad, and it is more with old age that you start to um well sag down there so don't swear it , you'll be fine.
OilyMom
by on Jan. 27, 2008 at 8:59 PM
1 mom liked this
That is utter nonsense.

Research is continuing to prove that it isn't the act of vaginal birth that leads to poor muscle tone - it is lack of exercise, age and pregnancy in general.
(that is why when women say "I'm getting a C-section to stay tight down there" it is utter nonsense!).

So - if you want to tighten things up DO KEGELS.

Seriously. That's all it takes. And you can actually begin immediately after your birth as it will help increase the circulation to the area and reduce the swelling much faster.

The number 1 thing to watch out for is avoiding an episiotomy in terms of avoiding pain during sex post partum. The number 1 thing to do to prevent "looseness" in your vaginal muscles is Kegels. 100 per day FOR LIFE. From now until you die.

Speaking from personal experience - our sex life is better after two kids than it was before we had children at all. I NEVER did Kegels until my midwife taught me how. Once I learned it has improved our sex life dramatically. Even after two vaginal births.

Your aunt is simply spouting a common misconception that simply isn't true.
Here's an article I wrote about how to do Kegels. http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/104155/exercises_for_pregnancy_kegels.html

Kegel Article Clickie

Blessings,
Angela England <><

ETA: The so-called "purple-pushing" can also damage the vaginal muscles and very few KNOWLEDGABLE birth professionals will shout at women to push to a certain number, etc. It is better to gently push and ONLY push when YOU feel like it - not when people are shouting at you. I highly recommend the book "Hypnobirthing" for the information about handling the pushing stage - VERY helpful. VERY. The rest of the book aside - that part will help you protect your vaginal tissues and perineum as well.

VERY often when women talk about prolonged pain during sex post partum (like it still hurts 6 months later) it is from 1-lack of lubrication becuase of breastfeeding or dehydration 2-side effects of the epsiotomy.
A few links to everything I do and am. :-) Many Hats of a Wife and Mother Blog; Natural Essentials Aromatherapy, Plants and Bulbs Garden Writer, Massage Therapist in Atoka OK. Plus of course - the all important Myspace profile.
LadyJennifer
by on Jan. 27, 2008 at 9:06 PM
Aww, Don't worry! I had a 9lb. 1oz baby vaginally and I'm fine! We had sex 5 weeks after and it was fine. I specifically asked my DH, he said it's the same as normal. I made sure I did/do kegals (sp?). It's where you tighten up your vaginal muscles. I try to do some every day. It's good if you do them during sex too, it makes it feel better for me and him. (sorry if TMI)

Probably the reason women have problems with that is cause they don't excercise down there.

 

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