Recommendations for birth relatives written by adult adoptees.

Quoting rach1217:
I really appreciate posts like this right now; a search angel found my daugther for me one week ago... and just like that.. I got an email from her Saturday.. and the reunion begins.. My daughter, Rachel is now 20... she is so lovely, I can't get over it. She seems extremely mature and well adjusted; I want so much to have a wonderful relationship with her... but suddenly feel paralyzed with fear of losing her again... when I JUST found her...
I have also been paralyzed by that fear. In fact I'd like to bet all birth mothers are paralazed by this fear. 4 years later I'm not. I hope that one day you wont feel this. Reunion is terrifying. Hang in there.
If I lost my son again. I think I'd die.

Thank you for posting this. I think I should print it out and mail to my bio family. This is a great tool to utilize during reunion. Good reunions or bad reunions this list could be of help.
Harboring guilt does interfere with my birthmom and I connecting and that goes for my 3 biological siblings as well. Be truthful. Be honest and do not back away......understand my adoptive family is my family.....be factual .....do not reject us ,but embrace us. Let down your guard and I shall do the same.
Working thru things as I read!
Hannah
Hannah

WOW! Reading all this helps me as a birthmom. I know I would love to take my daughter and just be her mom but i know i cant. I know I didnt raise her. I will try really hard to understand that her aparents are her actual parents and not me....That is why it hurts so bad to be a birthmom. We have to be the unselfish ones forever..... :( I do hope that maybe someday she would want to spend a holiday with us but i understand she cant because I really am not her family. God is it hard. The reunion with my daughter so far has been great. We have been bonding...I cant wait to actually meet her face to face. JUNE 4th!!! I need to print these things out so i remember :) THanks for this!


Quoting brandyl673:WOW! Reading all this helps me as a birthmom. I know I would love to take my daughter and just be her mom but i know i cant. I know I didnt raise her. I will try really hard to understand that her aparents are her actual parents and not me....That is why it hurts so bad to be a birthmom. We have to be the unselfish ones forever..... :( I do hope that maybe someday she would want to spend a holiday with us but i understand she cant because I really am not her family. God is it hard. The reunion with my daughter so far has been great. We have been bonding...I cant wait to actually meet her face to face. JUNE 4th!!! I need to print these things out so i remember :) THanks for this!
Brandy1673 - I wish you all the best when you have your first F2F - it is a surreal experience. Let me know how it goes - I am so excited for you !!! I had my first F2F with my son nearly 3 years ago, and have had many since, but unfortunately, the "bonded" thing has never happened. You are right - hurts so bad to be a birthmom.

Yes I will keep you updated. I will get a picture of us together :)
- rach1217
Member on Oct. 12, 2010 at 11:36 PMI really appreciate posts like this right now; a search angel found my daugther for me one week ago... and just like that.. I got an email from her Saturday.. and the reunion begins.. My daughter, Rachel is now 20... she is so lovely, I can't get over it. She seems extremely mature and well adjusted; I want so much to have a wonderful relationship with her... but suddenly feel paralyzed with fear of losing her again... when I JUST found her...