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I could use someones thoughts on this... please

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2007 at 12:59 AM
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Alright, I have a question.... I feel kind of weird asking it..... I don't know the answers and I am hoping that someone might....
I have reoccurring dreams about an "ex" and it is not just when I am sleeping... it is like he haunts me!

No, I am not joking..(LOL)

Now, some might say... "do you think about him?" No, I try to put him as far away from my thoughts as possible!  I do not go to bed thinking about him! I don't spend hours in my day wondering about him. Yes, sometimes he will cross my mind (not every day or every month) but this isn't the time that he "haunts" me. (Oh and he is not dead.... I have not seen him in 9 years or so)

It is such a strong feeling and other things start to happen as well! 

i hope i don't sound silly because I am very serious!
I feel weird saying this out loud.....

anyone have any suggestions or thoughts???
I would like for it to go away!
Hopefully, someone can make sense of this for me, I am not  just crazy!
by on Feb. 25, 2007 at 12:59 AM
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by on Feb. 25, 2007 at 1:10 AM
Now you might think I'm crazy for saying this. He might be in you dreams because he might be in some kind of trouble. and It's gods way of telling you that there is something wrong and you might be able to help him, or not. I mean I'm not sure why, but on occasions I get dreams that I don't quite understand but they seem like some kind of message for me to help that person with what they are going though. He might just need someone to be a friend to him right now. But Hay I could be wrong and it just could be some kind of fluck. I hope I helped

Top Mom
by Member on Feb. 25, 2007 at 1:16 AM
Well, the feeling is persistent  when it happens, it is like someone is tugging at me! It just isn't something I can explain..... that is kinda what I thought.... but, I am married.. (LOL)  Anything is helpful, as long as you guys don't tell me.. I am crazy! (LOL)
by Group Owner on Feb. 25, 2007 at 1:48 AM

Hey this is Jenn the group owner. I have a few thoughts about this for you. One it could be that since you have not seen him in so many years. It is possible that in the future in the next few months that your paths will cross again. It has happened to be before. When I have not seen someone is so long, I dream about them that means that I will be seeing them soon
Second it could be that you have some unfinished business with him that you need to complete. When you two split did something happen that you felt was unfinished.
When you reach certain ages in life you start to look at thigns you have regrets about or things that are left unfinished that you need to finish. Did you ever have that final talk with him, or did you hold something back from him that you should of not. You may have things you want to tell him an that is why you are having dreams about him
Also if he is thinking of you and has unfinished business with you that could be wjy you are dreaming about him so much too. Hope that helps you abit hun.

by Member on Feb. 25, 2007 at 10:37 AM
IT feels as if there is some "unfinished business" with him - it may be something you are not even conscious of - that has been buried for a long while.  How long has this been happening?  I do agree that it also could be fortelling of running into him again. 
by Member on Feb. 25, 2007 at 2:30 PM
There is a lot of weird history between him & I... so yes, I am sure it is unfinished business.... the thing is with this guy... he is very shut off emotionally and would never tell! If I were to talk to him....... he would just avoid any real questions or any finalization between him & I... That is how he works! He wont say too much... maybe to keep you coming back, I don't know! As I said, I have not seen him in 9 years.... I haven't talked to him in 4 years.. (before I got married) If there is unfinished business, I don't know if it will ever be finished.. LOL  What do you guys think?
Also, Last I heard he lives in NC.. I am in Utah... He is in the Army... I am here at home! So, I doubt I will run into him! I don't know though! I wish I understood why it wont go away and what I am supposed to do about it!
by Member on Feb. 25, 2007 at 10:10 PM

There are several ways to "cut the cords" as they say between you and the unfinsihed business that remains.  Here are a few of them-

You can write a letter and just pore everything out about what you want to let go of - address this to him - burn it outside (like in a bbq or metal bowl) and then bury the ashes.  Give the ashes to the earth with the intention of gifting Mother Earth with this energy - allow her to basically recycle this energy into positive.

You can meditate and write a letter from your higher self to his higher self explaining your feelings and how you want things to be now.  Address this to him in an envelope (no exact address needed) and then dispose of it. 

Call upon Arch Angel Michael and ask him to cut all cords of negativity that are between you and your ex.  Ask for all misunderstandings to be healed on all levels of time and space.

There is something in your subconscious that is holding onto this thought of your ex.  When you are ready to let it go you will. 

Best of luck!

by New Member on Feb. 26, 2007 at 2:37 AM
Your comment about him being in the army caught my eye.  This is a hard time to be in the army and being that you did love him and may still in some way...  might you be conserned about him in that regaurd?

It's that seeing things out of the corner of your eye and feeling that something is holding on to you for just a moment as you move, giving a light pull on your pant leg or sleave but nothing is there?  When you think "that's strange" his name or his face or a thought about him pops to mind in that moment?
by on Feb. 26, 2007 at 12:11 PM
According to the "Dream Dictionary" by Tony Crisp (this is only part of the intrepritation-you really need to jot down all key words of a dream, I will post a link, if you want to investigate), "Ex-lover/boyfriend: any feelings or hopes sitll connected with him; the ex-boyfriend or lover often becomes a symbol for all the hopes of love that are not being satisfied at the moment, or in the present relationship; occasionally the past. It may occur in some dreams that the ex-lover is seen as a dead body, or a murder is involved. This usually because we are killing, or have killed some of our longings and love." 

I don't know if this helps, however, if you can remember all of the dream and look up all the key words from the dream, it might help you understand it better. The website is and the website will also tell you how to interpretut your dream.

You are, however, NOT crazy. I have been having daydreams (of flashes of old dreams, which are strong feeling) and dreams at nite of my ex-boyfriend. I am not over him, I don't believe. My dreams alway show us getting back together, or us talking. Some of them are one of us walking away. I still love him very much. He does have a girlfriend and I have talked to him once in a great while, but my twins father, I can't ever see marrying, and the only person that I can see marrying, is my ex. I don't understand what it all means either, but I even have a couple of friends that have called me within the last couple of months, and they have told me the same dream of my ex and I coming to their house with the twins, and they want to know how we got back together. (Mind you these two friends do not know each other, which is really weird.) They both said that we are very happy and it seems that the twins are about 3 or 4. I have tried to get over my ex, so that I can be happy with the guy I am with. I don't want to hurt him, but he was the rebound guy and I feel horrible for that! The twins were very unexpected and I got pregnant while I was on the pill, so I feel that I was to be with him for a reason, but I don't want to hurt anyone. The break between my ex and I was mutual, to see if that was what we really wanted, and I think that neither one of us really wanted it, but we were both too stubborn to let the other one know. If by chance we did get back together, I would never let him go.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest, I know this is your post but, it felt good to get that out!
by Member on Feb. 26, 2007 at 1:09 PM
It's such an odd feeling! The dreams aren't as often as the actual feeling..... as you said someone pulling at me.... things out of the corner of my eye, When I see his face it is it was when we were younger & together! There are a few songs that I listened to at the time..... one of them was a song that I related to him (sorry, a big music person) Well, it is an older song and it doesn't get a lot of play time anymore..... All of a sudden one day the song was on every time I was in my car.... no kidding, ever time I got in my car the song would be on the radio for a week! Maybe you think I am weird but I found it so odd!

Now, I would like to tell you the whole story but that would take up a lot of space. The not so short version, I was married young! my husband at the time was never home & not a very nice guy. He moved a friend in because he wanted to live in the Valley ( not the country, where he was living)
 He & I became very good friends. (The odd thing is.. he worked with my husband and he used to come over to my car often and talk to me!) I didn't know who was moving in!
When he did.. there was not an attraction! He was just a very nice guy! We would spend time talking and he would be helpful around the house. One day, things led into something else. This was a year after he had lived with us.
When he moved out.... we still met up here & there! I got pregnant.... my son died when I was 6 and half months pregnant... after he died, he went and joined the Army. I never told him that it was his baby. (Which, I knew & felt inside. Later found out that he knew as well!)
Every time we would get too close he would get weird and back off. I also was very confused... I mean, I was married and we were young! I know you guys are probably judging me for my actions but it was something from my past, that I can't change! so, it is what it is!

Years passed and I have to tell you the "gettogethers" were not every week.. they were not even every month. It is like we just went on with our life and something was always there to remind us to get together again. We would spend time together, talk, laugh, watch TV and of course have sex. We did this for 4 years.....

Life went on and it had been years since I had seen him 3 or 4... I couldn't shake this feeling and I met my husband (though not my husband at the time) I was & am very happy and love him with all my heart!

I decided one day to get it all off my chest. I wrote him a letter to his Mom's house and tried to get it all "finalized" he found me 6 months later. My husband now said I know you need to clear up stuff... I will give you the time to do that (Everything was over the phone) But this guy wouldn't have it! He told me about looking for me. He told me about his travels... he would e-mail me... he would call! Again, it just wasn't our time... I am not sure what is up with this because we never quite found or were in the right time to get together!

He then asked me over the phone to marry him.. he would say things like "We are meant to be... Don't you know this!" I would say that "If it was meant to be then why doesn't it ever happen!"

Anyway, he went off to Iraq.... (AGAIN I have not seen him in 9 years.. all conversations were through e-mail or phone) I was not going to leave my husband now.(though we were not married yet!) I was happy! (He is wonderful)

When he went to Iraq... he called me and I was freaked out!! I started second guessing myself! I didn't hear from him for 3 months.... (This was about the time my husband & I were getting married...I told him.. "We are getting married!" He asked if I was sure! I told him "You are the only thing that makes me 2nd guess this!" He said nothing!! NOTHING!!!

A few months after I was married about 4 months later.. he wrote me and said he was getting married! I told him I was happy for him! I just let it go! I mean as far as keeping in touch! It has been 4 years since that day.... I know what I did was right! (Again, I love my husband with all my heart!) Yet, as I wrote..... this strong feelings wont go away! I can't rid my soul of this man no matter how much I want to!
I know this was a long story... it feels good to get my dirty little secret out!

Girls, I don't know why he haunts me! I don't know why he wont let me live my life. Even though it is all weird & confusing.... he is always in the background..  though I fight to make him go away!

As i said, yes he crosses my mind here & there! Mostly, this feeling is what makes me think of him! I have moved on! Have I wondered if he is ok? Yes! I have tried so hard to put this all away on a shelf and nothing will let it happen! If that makes sense.
When I have talked to him in the past he doesn't allow for me to get any closure... he would only open the situation up more!

I can't believe I just said all this out loud... lol maybe that will help! LOL
I am sorry, for putting this all out there on you guys but i thought I would give the history & maybe some of you bright & talented girls could understand a little better! Thanks, for all your suggestions!
Also remember that there a lot more details, I just tried to make it as short as possible.. Geesh, imagine if I added everything else!
by on Feb. 26, 2007 at 1:27 PM
I would never judge you for actions taken, sometimes situations happen that later on we think we could have changed something but most of the time we would have done things the same way. all actions int he past lead to who you are today.

Unless of course you would see the other man now that you are married to such a wonderful person, before you were with someone that you didn't connect with and as you said wasn't a very nice person.

I don't really have any advice for you, i just want you to know that there are people out there that care about your peace of mind, every one deserves peace, and things making themselves this known to you means that something is either going to happen or that maybe something is unresolved, it might even mean you might be put in that place of temptation again, it might be seeing if you can handle another face to face with this person, do you think if you were face to face with him you could accept that things were over, or do you think it will be history repeating?
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