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Please help!

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 12:39 PM
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Ok so this is my dilema! I have been in childcare for 15plus yrs. I began with the usual family children then branched out to social services kids, foster care and ultimately an at home daycare. I also have a 7yr old who by the way is autistic. I have seen my share of spoiled children but they have mostly been over a year old. I have been caring for this particular little girl since she was 3months and she is 8months now! She cries all day unless held, when I change her diaper/clothes, for naps or play. During song time or story time, nothing helps unless she is being held! I do my share of holding but, she's her 10hr days and I just simply can't hold her all day! Does anybody have any tecniques that actually work? Her parents never put her down and let her call the shots at 8months, and if I am to care for her until she's 3 somethings gotta give! She isn't colic and is in perfect health, just SPOILED ROTTEN!  How do I get her to understand that she is with me and not her parent and I can't hold her all day?frustrated

by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 12:39 PM
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Replies (1-3):
brani5
by on Jan. 21, 2009 at 12:56 PM

I had an 6 month old like this once. It may sound mean, but you just can't hold them all day long. I would put her in a bouncy chair next to us while we did crafts or if I was cooking. I would hold her when she would have her bottle and for times when she needed comforted, but other than that, I would just let her cry. It took her a few weeks, but she eventually was ok without being held all day. And I understand about the long hours. Her mom was a traveling nurse who worked over and hour away and worked 12 hour shifts. Her boyfriend wasn't always the best at picking up the kids when he got off work.

Mommy to Lillian and Emmalene

toddler girl          baby girl

Mz.Sunshine745
by New Member on Jan. 21, 2009 at 4:42 PM

Trust me, I've tried letting her cry she just gets worse by the week! She is very smart so I know she knows where she is cause she only comes here and home. (Her parents are very protective so they isolate her) No matter what I do she won't stop and as the weeks progress the bigger the tantrum! UUUGGGGG!banging head into wall

RaisnKids
by on Jan. 22, 2009 at 11:31 AM

I have went through this and it lasted 8 months until I was at my wits end!  I kept a notebook and passed it daily to the parents to let them know what my day was like.  I thought I could fix it, NOT!  If they do not listen to your pleads, you have to stop daycare for her.  I have even added a line to my contract about termination of childcare due to extreme stress on the provider (I worded it better in the contract but you get the jist).  Give the parents an choice, either stop holding the child too much or you stop providing childcare.  You are responsible and liable for the other children and you can not provide quality care to them when you have to constantly trying to please her.  I like to call it "Foot Disease" .  LOL!  If the parent's want to create a monster, they can live with her!  No other provider will want her unless they do not have other children.  Also, children have been taken away from parents who hold them too much for "failure to thrive".  The children do not learn how to sit, crawl etc. because they are held too much.  They are doing this child a disservice by not letting her explore, learn, or interact with her surroundings.  Sorry, this subject really hits a nerve with me plus I am on a caffein high!  ; )

Hyper Peg in Iowa

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